A Brother's Love
by Fangfan1
Summary: "One is good, but four is better."- Someday, Big Time Rush He almost already lost him once, and he sure wasn't about to let that happen a second time. And someday life would get better for both of them.
1. 1 Baby Brother

**I know I probably should just be focusing on my other two fanfictions, but I literally have over ten story ideas in my head right now and one just HAD to be written. Plus I have the first five chapters already on paper.**

**Anyway I hope you enjoy. I also used the birthdays of the actors James, Logan, Carlos, and Kendall not the t.v. shows. I can only remember the real guys birthdays. And yes Logan is a little brother to one of the guys now, so no Joanna Mitchell, or father-who-has-never-been-mentioned-in-the-show.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the boys, so I beg you don't sue me….you'll lose…**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 1: Baby Brother**

_September 14, 1999_

James Diamond was already a promising child at the age of four. He was most certainly a handsome child already, with a flawless face, promising hair and a smile to die for. The boy had personality and held to the upmost kindness in his heart. Finally he had a_ voice_, already. Literally.

James could sing at the age of four and everyone had to admit he was cute, but he was good. Unlike other four year olds who sang to be adorable, James sang for the joy of it. He also sang with true and absolute talent with all his soul. At_ four._

The boy held a promising future, one that would surely be filled with happiness.

What James was not, however, was being a morning person. Especially when being awake at twelve twenty-two in the morning by his father.

"But daddy," James whined tiredly. He rubbed his eyes with one hand, while the other clutched on to his stuffed dalmatian toy, Sparky. "Can't the baby wait 'till morning." He yawned loudly from the backseat. His father couldn't help but chuckle at his son's complaint, even his mother - despite the obvious uncomfort and pain she was dealing with – managed a laugh at James. "I wanna sleep daddy!"

Kevin Diamond smiled softly, looking in the rear-view mirror at his sleepy son. Only James could help calm down his nerves. The thirty year old was a nervous wreck at the moment, as the family of three drove to the hospital to greet their fourth member. Four years ago Kevin had been beyond the nerves he felt now, at James' birth fainting once – almost a second time mind you – at least he had James' comments to calm him down this time.

"Mommy why can't the baby wait? Doesn't it know it's too early?" James grumbled, kicking his feet-y pajamas, feet up. James was dressing in his favorite_ Thomas the Train_ feeted pajamas, but right now he was too upset to care.

"Sorry sweetie," Brooke Diamond managed between contractions. Focusing on her breathing, she answered the brunette toddler once the contraction ended. "But babies don't know the time at all. So they can't wait to be born." She murmured rubbing her swollen stomach.

James sighed with another loud yawn, looking out the window. He still didn't understand why the baby couldn't have been born in the morning. Couldn't it have waited a few more hours? James wasn't entirely sure how he felt about the new baby yet. He did get lonely whenever no one was around to play, and seeing his friends with their siblings. Plus the baby would be a boy. So, it was an upside for James.

But that was also a point. There would be _another_ boy in the house that mommy and daddy would have to love instead. And James did enjoy every _ounce_ of attention he received all the time from either his mommy or daddy. He did _not_ want to share that. He just didn't want to share period. Being an only child could be great sometimes!

"Stupid baby." James mumbled to himself crossing little arms over his chest in a pout. At this point the Diamonds had arrived in the Hospital parking lot. James watched, after his daddy had parked their car, his daddy rushed out of the car himself before helping his mommy out by opening her door and taking her hand. His mommy continued to make funny noise holding her huge (well it was _huge_ in James' eyes) belly. The two rushed into the hospital not even bothering to shut the door, let alone grab James.

Well…

James blinked, too tired and groggy to register the fact he was by himself and to be afraid. He did realize, however, that he was alone and one thought came through: _quiet._ He yawned laying himself back into his car seat, getting comfortable; ready to fall back asleep when –

"Oh my god, James!" His car door opened suddenly to reveal a hysterical daddy Diamond. "I'm so sorry son, we just forgot you here! I'm sorry!" He unbuckled the seatbelt and pulled the cranky four-year-old into his arms. James protested and squirmed trying to say he was sleeping. But his daddy just kept on walking.

Now all James wanted to do was just _sleep._ That's it. Nothing more.

Was that too much to ask for?

James was on the verge of tears by then, whining with quiet dry sobs, when the two walked into the hospital room. The four-year-old was known to get very cranky when he didn't get enough sleep.

Kevin rubbed small circles into the shaking back of his restless son, in an attempt to sooth the boy.

Brooke's heart almost crashed upon the sight of poor James, when her husband returned in her room. James was fidgeting in his arms, hands over his red face, small sobs wracking his body. She bit her lip rubbing her baby bump allowing another contraction to pass.

"When did John and Jennifer say they would get here?" She asked. Kevin pulled a chair up next to her bed, still trying to calm James down. There Brooke could reach over and stoke James' hair, but the toddler still wouldn't calm down.

"I called right before we left so I'd say ten minutes."

Brooke nodded brushing a strand of hair of James' forehead, but the child did not even notice. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? Why is mommy's baby crying?"

"I-I j-just wan-n-na sl-sleep." James whined through sobs. "B-But t-the s-stup-pid b-bay ru-ruined t-that! A-And t-then y-you f-forgot me!" He sobbed even louder by now. _The baby wasn't even here yet and he was already getting more attention than James._

"Oh sweetie, we didn't mean it. We could never forget our little Jamsey-boy. Daddy just had to get mommy and baby into the hospital fast." It wasn't a complete lie. The two were so nervous and panicked that's _all _they had thought about. Not James. "And don't worry, Uncle John will take you soon to sleep and see Kendall."

John and Jennifer Knight were best friends to the Diamonds. They had known each other for years, and also had a four-year-old son, just four months older than James and a three year old daughter. Kendall and Katie Knight

James and Kendall were absolute best friends doing everything together. Literally growing up together since they were in diapers.

James and Kendall also had another best friend Carlos Garcia. He was the third child and the youngest out of three kids in his family. He had a ten year old brother and a seven year old sister; he had just turn four back in August. Of course the Garcia's were just as close to the Diamonds and Knights. They were actually more like one gigantic family, rather than three family-friends. And today that large family was about to get one baby bigger.

James' sobs ceased at Kendall's name but he was still whining and tired. Kendall would make him feel better though. He always did.

"Excuse me, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond?" A cheerful voice broke James' thoughts. In came an older woman, older than mommy – because she had wrinkles! – and another young woman in a white dress. The older woman in the long white coat went straight to James' mommy, while the other woman stopped by him and his daddy.

"Hello there," Began the older woman much to James' annoyance. "My name is Dr. Wallburg and I will be your doctor for this birth. I am here to check on how things are going for you and for the baby." The doctor smiled patting Brooke's baby bump. "Also a family by the name of Knight, I believe is her e to see you? A Mrs. Jennifer Knight requests to see you and Ramona here would be willing to take your son to them, while this process happens. This is no place or time really for a small child."

Kevin and Brooke shared a smile nodding to let Jennifer in. Brooke groaned louder than usual, clutching her stomach and breathing deep.

"A-wee. A-wee." James attempted to copy the noise his mother was making, in a high pitched voice. "A-wee. A-wee-WOO! Wee-Woo! Just like a police car!" He giggled. Kevin and the young nurse laughed at how adorable and innocent the boy was, before Ramona took James' hand. Immediately all sleep was washed away and replaced by fear when he was being taken away.

"Now James it's okay. Be a good boy, and follow Miss Ramona out, okay?" Kevin said gently to his first-born son. James swallowed thickly. "She's going to take you to see Uncle John and Kendall. You want to see them right?" A nod. "Well go with Miss Ramona and you can play with Kendall. Then later daddy will come get you guys and you can meet your baby brother.

James sniffled wiping his eyes, sticking out his bottom lips in a pout. "Really?"

Kevin smiled ruffling the messy brunette hair. "Really son." Slowly James gave a small nod and grabbed Ramona's hand. As the two headed out, they encountered Mrs. Knight, who was about to enter the room. She beamed brightly down at the boy she considered her own family.

"Oh James isn't this exciting? Kendall is waiting for you down the hall." She continued to grin. James managed a tired but _real_ smile back.

"Yep!"

The walk to Kendall and his father seemed to take forever as James trudge on with the nurse lady. His feet literally seemed to drag across the floor as they continued to walk on.

"James!" A loud cry snapped James out of his groggy-like state. Reality sunk in when he caught sight of a blond bob.

"Kendall!" James grinned rushing over to one of his best friends. He was wide awake by now, running to Kendall. The two four-year-olds collided in a hug rolling to the floor. One would believe they hadn't seen each other in months, when in fact James hung out with Kendall and Carlos two days ago, _all_ day long.

"Is it twue? Is youw mommy gonna have the baby?" Kendall squeaked missing his 'r's', flailing his arms. James pouted only to grin a moment later.

"Yep. But the stupid baby woke me up so early!" James complained plopping down next to Kendall. Kendall's father waved at James, taking a seat in front of the two boys.

"But hey, we nevew get to stay up this late…ow eawly!" Kendall giggled. James also giggled at the truth. It was true, they never did.

"Hey where's Kate?" James inquired noticing the youngest Knight was missing. Kendall snorted.

"Gamma Knight is watching hew 'cause she's too little." Kendall proclaimed loudly. After all, he got to _come_ , he didn't have to _stay_ at home.

James smiled childishly at his friend and squealed in delight when Kendall pulled out two Power Ranger action figures from, his dad's bag.

Maybe the baby coming wasn't so bad.

* * *

Sylvia and Juan Garcia couldn't suppress the chuckles at the sight before them, upon entering the hospital waiting room that morning. Little Carlos didn't even attempt to hide his fit of giggles.

It was nearly noon by now and James and Kendall were seated on each of John Knight's thighs, curled up into his chest; each clutching a plastic Power Rangers action figure. And all three of them were sound asleep, snoring the day away.

Carlos covered his mouth in an attempt to hide his loud giggles as he walked over to the three. Still smiling Carlos jabbed a finger into not only James' side, but also Kendall's, receiving annoyed groans.

James blinked with blurred vision and a foggy mind, before rubbing his eyes. _Where am I?_ He registered tiredly, taking in his surroundings. White walls, tiled floors, lot's of chairs – oh yeah, he was in the hospital.

James then yawned the last of the sleep out of his body, while Kendall got off his papa's lap.

"Carlos!" James shouted finally causing Kendall to fully wake up, and hugged the Latino. Carlos giggled once more that day as Kendall joined the hug. The Garcia's greeted the groggy father while the boys ran around playing.

"Be careful now boys." Sylvia scolded, when Carlos nearly knocked over a chair running around. With a short, "sowy" he was off chasing his blond and brunette friends.

"Hey James?" Carlos frowned suddenly after over two hours of playing and eating a "breakfast-lunch thingy" as James quoted earlier.

"Yeah?" James looked up from his large block tower, guarded by the scaly green giant dragon. Kendall and Carlos were also each building their own towers to protect, though Carlos' looked more like different blocks thrown on top of each other.

"Papi said der was a baby comin'. Dat's why we came. Where's de baby?" Carlos asked innocently.

James frowned suddenly. It was almost two, of the next day! They had been here over twelve hours. So where was, his baby brother, and his mommy and daddy? Why weren't they here yet?

As the four-year-old contemplated on an answer, the double doors behind them swung open, revealing a beaming Mama Knight.

"He's here John! About half an hour ago; now he's clean and here! Seven pounds, three ounces and gosh John! He's just so adorable!" She cried. Papa Knight stood up with a wide grin with the Garcia's. "Oh Sylvia and Juan you two made it! Brooke had him; he's finally here!" At that moment both women squealed loudly while their husbands chuckled.

James scrambled to his feet, knocking his tower over, and ran to Mama Knight. With Kendall and Carlos hot on his heels, of course. James pulled down harshly on her pant leg, feeling very impatient.

Jennifer Knight looked down to find little James Diamond still in his feet-y Thomas pajamas, hair a complete mess, staring up at her with wide eyes.

"Oh James," She smiled picking up the boy. Papa Knight and Papi Garcia each picked up their own sons and the group was soon moving. "Your baby brother is finally here James, with mommy and daddy. You're finally a big brother!"

James beamed. "Really?"

"Yup kiddo. He and your mommy are just fine. We're about to go see them." At those words James' stomach dropped. The baby was _with_ mommy and daddy already. James _wasn't._ He would have to share mommy and daddy for real this time, and the baby was getting so much more.

Before he could pout and protest, he was set down on the ground in front of a grey door. James wasn't old enough to know the room number, but he knew it ha and a 3. Mama Knight smiled again.

"We can't all go in at once so we'll have to go in shifts. Though, James should go first. It _is his_ brother and family." She said softly. Opening the door, the red-haired woman gently pushed James inside.

James frowned for all of two seconds before he was scooped off the ground and into a pair of arms. _Daddy's arms._

"Daddy!" He giggled as he was swung around. Kevin kissed his son's forehead before sitting on the bed. He sat James down between Brooke and himself.

"Hello son."

"Hi sweetheart." Brooke smiled leaning in to kiss her eldest son. James accepted the kiss but kept his main focus on the wrapped bundle in his mommy's arms. She caught sight of his staring and laughed softly.

"James this is your baby brother." She spoke softly in a hushed whisper, shifting the blankets. "Meet Logan Mitchell Diamond." She held her arms out to James, to reveal a tiny pink face, scrunched up with eyes closed. His tiny hands were closed in fists right next to his little head. He already had a patch of thick, dark brown hair.

James swallowed.

"Would you like to hold your brother James?" His mommy asked quietly. James jerked his head up at his mommy with a mouth agape. He pointed to himself as if to clarify that she meant _him_.

"Yes, you James."" Brooke had to chuckle, moving Logan again. Hesitantly, out of fear and still jealously, James nodded. His mouth was still dangling open.

As Brooke moved Logan to put him in James' arms – with Kevin right behind him, ready to help – Logan chose that moment to wake up. He squirmed in the blankets beginning to cry loudly. Brooke paused in hesitance to put the fussy and crying new born in James' arms. But the look on James' face almost broke her heart. He _wanted_ to hold Logan.

So, gently, she placed Logan into James' arms, instructing him how to hold a baby properly. The newborn cried for another few seconds before instantly calming down in the brother's arms. His wails stopped and he lay perfectly still by then, opening his eyes for the first time.

To reveal stunningly, beautiful deep brown irises.

James' breath hitched in his throat and the world seemed to stop moving at that moment. New emotions floored right through him. There was no more anger or jealousy. Or hurt.

"Wow." Kevin breathed laughing. "James you got Logan to finally open his eyes. Since he was born he hasn't opened them at all yet, but you – _you _got him too!" He was beyond proud that James was finally happy.

"Look James, he already loves you. He knows you're his brother so he stopped crying!" Brooke grinned widely.

And in that instant, with those words James was over come with a new sense of protection. Protection and pride.

"Hi Logan," His voice was no higher than a whisper, but Logan stared up at him the whole time. "I'm James, your uh, brother." He smiled. "And I will always protect you for the rest of my life." He promised.

From that day forth, September 14, 1999, James made a vow.

A vow to protect Logan.

_Forever._

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**Hey so what did you guys all think. I always wanted to do a Logan and James as brother. I can see James as a protective big Bro. Haha.**

**Anyway just drop a review in the inbox, or PM anytime. I'll try to respond to reviews through PM when I can. So please leave a review and chapter 2 will hopefully be up in about a week or so.**

**As for **_**Only Time Will Tell, **_**for those who care, the next chapter with Kendall won't be up until Saturday.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	2. 2 Crawl

**Wow, you all are just amazing. I never expected so much response for this story! Every review, favorite, follow and alert I got totally made my day yesterday and today. So much in just 24 hours! You guys just rock, so THANK YOU for the reviews, faves, alerts and follows!**

**So here is chapter 2, with sooo much more fluffy cutesey stuff (in my opinion).**

**Also, I now have a twitter, LOL, I just made one like last week so if anyone wants to talk or follow I am Jay_Jay1412 on twitter. It's up to you :)**

**Also USA WOMEN'S SOCCER IN THE OLYMPICS WINS GOLD, OMGJGUIGFHDYISNDIF! I AM LIKE JUMPING FOR JOY AT THIS MOMENT! GO USA WOMEN"S SOCCER!**

**Dislaimer: I do not own the BTR boys…but I WILL meet them someday…**

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**Chapter 2: Crawl**

"Mom," James murmured from where he was. Which happened to be, standing on his tip-toes trying to peak into the crib. It was hard seeing what – rather, _who_ – was in the crib, when bar after bar obscured the four-year-olds vision.

Brooke turned slightly from folding the baby clothes in her hands. She paused for a moment to take a loving look at James, who was still trying to sneak a peak at Logan. James was so remarkably sweet and kind these past six months with the new baby.

She had actually been quite worried, and almost scared at one point, in the beginning. Over her pregnancy James had become very jealous and hateful towards the new baby who hadn't even arrived yet. He had hated the idea of sharing and having another kid around. James had only barely been three years old when she found out she was pregnant again. At first James was simply curious about a baby. He wanted to know what it was, and where it was. _Why isn't the baby here right now then?_ He had asked back then, when Brooke and Kevin sat down announcing they would be having a new baby. James just took a while to figure it all out. He had asked all the questions.

_Where is the baby right now?_

_Mommy, why is your tummy so gigantic?_

_How much longer until this baby?_

_Can I have some pickles and ice cream and peanut butter too, like mommy?_

_Mommy, did you eat the baby?!_ For about two whole months James had been convinced and dead set on the idea that Brooke had eaten their baby. That's why her stomach kept getting bigger and _why _he was in her stomach in the first place. It also explained why the baby kicked._ It's kicking because you ate it! You ate it and it wants out!_ James had said firmly to his mother.

When he had turned four, James was beginning to unravel and plan ideas on how to get the baby out, so he could save it. Now he wasn't one to come up with plans really. In fact, that was more of what Kendall would do. It was just part of the blond's personality.

He could come up with any plan for _any_ situation. So, who better to go to than his best friends Kendall and Carlos? Surely one of them must know how to save the baby after getting eating. It made complete sense to the brunette toddler at the time.

Luckily Kendall was thoroughly prepared and just the man (little boy) for this job. After all he had experience, with his mother having Katie almost three years ago at the time.

One night after pee-wee hockey practice, Kendall invited Carlos and James over for a sleepover, where the two four year olds and three and a half year old plotter how to save James' baby sibling.

Kendall was the only one coming up with an idea at the time.

_Its simple weally._ He had said all proud and happy._ You just gotta make youw mommy thwow the baby up. If she ate it, then if she thwows up enough, she'll thwow the baby up! I remember my mommy was weal sick, thwowing up at first, and then right at the end she thwew up one night and the next day Katie was hewe!_ The plan was absolutely brilliant and flawless…for three little boys. Three boys who believed in just about anything, even the idea that Santa watched their every single move through a magical snow globe.

The next day the boys set their plan into action. Eating all kinds of foods that held strong smells, rolling in mud to smell bad, even feeding his mommy a sandwich – a sandwich with one worm in it.

Needless to say, the boys managed to make mommy Diamond throw up multiple times that day. They also managed, however, to get busted and in trouble by Daddy Diamond and their own parents. When confronted and asked, the boys answered (completely serious) their ideas and plans to save James' baby brother or sister.

The day ended with their parents laughing until they couldn't breathe, while the boys pouted by themselves. They were just too cute!

It took some time but finally James understood that his mommy, in fact, had _not_ eaten the baby. It was just growing in her belly. Which, lead to the next question:

_Where do babies come from?_

That had been an awkward and very untruthful conversation that night, but in the end James was uneducated, being filled with childish lies, and happy to know.

Now, James had turned to his mother clutching the crib bars. "Why is Logan so tiny? When is he going to get bigger?" He asked honestly. Brooke sighed already knowing where this was going; to be truthful, she was surprised James had waited this long to ask. That he had, had so much self control. "I can't play hockey with him, or even play with him at all if he's this small. Wait," James froze one hand on his chin, performing his thinking pose he had seen most adults do. "Can he hold a hockey stick?"

Brooke was in a mix of laughing and gasping in horror. For, James was being serious at the moment, and it was downright adorable and frightening. The idea of even allowing Logan anywhere _near _a hockey stick was a huge no-no.

"No James. Not only is Logan too small, but he is also way too young for that!" Brooke cried. James grumbled falling into a deep pout. He didn't see the point then, in having a sibling if he couldn't even _play_ with Logan. Heck, Kendall and Katie played all the time together and Katie was a _girl_.

"James sweetie," Brooke knelt down next to her oldest son, ruffling his hair with her fingers. Sighing, as he continued to pout, she spoke. "Right now Logan's just too young. Katie is closer in age to Kendall, and older."_ Can she read minds now?_ "James how old is Logan?"

"Uh," James unfolded his arms from his chest and held out one hand. Slowly he used his fingers. "October…November…December…January…February…March…so," Quickly he counted the fingers up. "Six!"

"Six what, James? Not years."

"Uh…six months!" James beamed. Brooke grinned squeezing his hands.

"Right, and how old is Katie?"

"Uh…three…years?"

"Right!" Brooke kissed his cheek and pulled James into her arms. "See how much older Katie is than Logan. So she can play with you guys. Logan's just not old enough yet. Look at how small he is. Katie's not that small, right?"

James nodded his head, shaggy hair flinging around. Logan was much smaller than she was. Logan could fit perfectly in James' arms and Katie couldn't. The four-year-old peered into the crib, from his mother's arms, gazing adoringly at the baby. Logan was asleep right now, sprawled across the mattress. His tiny fingers were closed into small fists next to his head, while his moth opened in a teeny 'o' shape. The baby continued to dream peacefully, unaware of his two visitors.

"Will I hafta wait three whole years?!" James whispered incredulously. Logan twitched at the voice, raising his arms up slightly. Carefully James leaned down to stroke Logan's chubby, pale cheek; as he had seen his mother do many times before.

"No sweetie." Brooke chuckled and kissed the top of his head. James sighed in relief when Logan quit moving at James' touch. "You can still play with Logan now. You just have to be super-extra careful and absolutely _no_ hockey. But in a few months you can go outside and do lot's of fun things with Logan. You'll teach him everything right?"

James immediately beamed, just as Logan began to awake. The tiny smile on the elder brother's face grew into a cheek splitting grin, once Logan opened his eyes.

The six-month-baby did not cry or squirm. Instead, his beautiful brown eyes locked onto James' hazel eyes and then Brooke's. He gurgled wrapping his fingers around James' pointed finger by his cheek.

"Yeah, I'll teach Logan everything!" He announced proudly. "I'll teach him how to play hockey. What _proper_ clothes that he should wear. How to climb the best trees – wait, maybe Carlos should teach him that – and how to sing!"

"Of course you will sweetheart." Brooke smiled giving Logan her pinky. The baby boy continued to gurgle happily, fully awake now, clutching both fingers in his fists.

James nodded to confirm his words.

He had meant every single promise.

* * *

"Hey Logan, guess what?" James pushed himself up onto his elbows excitedly. Of course, his younger brother did not answer. He did, however, glance over at James from his spot, trying to eat a block.

The two brothers were inside the playroom, toys scattered _everywhere_, on the floor. While mommy and daddy Diamond prepared lunch in the kitchen one room over.

"Well, I'll tell you anyway." James laughed resting a hand underneath his chin. He gently pulled the (now soaking wet) block away from Logan's mouth. The baby gurgled loudly. "Kendall and Carlos are coming over soon! So all _four_ of us can play today!"

Logan merely rolled onto his stomach, flapping his arms widely, when James went on excitedly.

"It'll be so great. Kendall and Carlos can't wait to see you! They're your best friends also, right?" No answer. "Right!" James smiled dreamily already planning how amazing today would be. There would be so much fun between all four of the boys.

"James! Logan!" Two voices cried, seconds before James was tackled to the ground. He laughed, hugging back (careful of Logan, who was still on the floor). The baby watched from on his stomach curiously, as his brother interacted with the other two toddlers, before giggling.

Logan's giggled snapped the three boys, small wrestling match as all three turned to the baby. Carlos screeched loudly in joy, rushing to Logan's side. He cooed and giggled along side Logan, who giggled hysterically when Carlos tickled his chin. Kendall grinned brightly plopping on the other side of Logan with James in front of his brother.

"Oooh look at chu Logie! You're getting so big!" Carlos laughed when Logan latched his fingers around his own thumb. "Hey! I need my thumb! James!"

"Sorry Carlitos, once he get's a hold of it, good luck getting it back!" James broke out into laughter at the horrified expression on Carlos' face. The tan Latino jerked back towards Logan terrified.

"B-But I-I like my thumb!" He cried, gently tugging but Logan wasn't about to let go. The baby frowned in concentration latching on with his other fingers. Now Carlos was desperate. He could not afford to lose his thumb, could he?

"Poow Cawlitos." Kendall sympathized. His eyes locked onto a small stuffed puppy lying on the floor beside him, before he grinned. "Wait a second. Hewe! Carlos, give him this! Maybe he'll want this instead of youw thumb!"

Carlos grabbed the stuffed puppy shoving it in Logan's direction, who squealed loudly instantly reaching for the soft puppy. Before putting it's ear to his mouth…

At least Carlos' thumb was free.

"Yes my thumb is freeeee!" Carlos sang in joy. Logan giggled while James and Kendall were rolling on the floor in laughter. Carlos pouted. "It's not funny you guys! I could have serbesiousy, lost my thumb!" He grumbled mispronouncing 'seriously'. James and Kendall only laughed harder. "Anyways! What are we going to do now James?"

That stopped James from laughing. He paused gazing around the room. "Oh, um hmmm. Wait, I got it!" Quickly he ran over to grab two rubber tiny nets, a small squishy puck and three tiny hockey sticks.

Daddy Diamond and Papa Knight decided to check on the boys at that moment, and nearly dropped the dishes in their hands at the sight before them.

James, Carlos and Kendall were going at each other, with the squishy ball and sticks. Logan however was propped upright, surrounded by stuffed animals and soft toys to keep him sitting upright. In his hand were a very wet, toy whistle and the stuffed puppy. On his white onesie were three – very nonstraight – vertical lines with black _duct tape._

"What is going on?!"

The three older boys froze in what they were doing, while Logan giggled hysterically at his daddy. Papa Knight's mouth was agape as Kevin went to check on Logan.

"Uh, hi Papa." Kendall waved meekly. "We were playing some, uh, soft hockey."

"Yeah I can see that."

"James what did your mother say about Logan and hockey-"

"But Daddy," James protested quickly once Kevin stood up away from the unharmed but taped baby. "Logan isn't playing _with_ us. See, he's safe over with his soft toys to protect him. He's not out here playing hockey. He's watching!"

"Yeah, he's de referee! So nothing bad with happen." Carlos chimed in with a grin. Papa Knight couldn't help but laugh and even Daddy Diamond couldn't stop himself from chuckling.

"Boys," John sighed bending down. "You can't play hockey around Logan at all. Whether he's playing or not. He's just too little. He could get hit by the ball or a stick. Or someone could accidentally fall on him. It's just too dangerous for Logan. I'm sorry boys."

The three older boys hung their head in defeat at the words.

Guess that meant no more hockey, huh? _Wrong!_

* * *

"Boys, it's time for lunch. We made your favorites! Grilled cheese" Brooke called entering the room with all the other adults following. Her smiled turned into a gasp at the sight she was gazing on. But this time it wasn't out of fear or horror, it was out of…shock.

On the ground on their stomachs were James, Carlos, Kendall _and_ Logan. Two small hockey nets were set up on each side of the room, with the four boys closest to the farther net. But that wasn't the shock.

Kendall, Carlos and James had their hockey gloves on and Logan still had his messy duct tape stripes on, but Logan was _crawling_ to the net. He was _crawling._ For the first time!

Logan had sat up before and rolled on his stomach and back but he had yet to crawl, that is until now. Brooke felt tear well in her eyes as she watched her baby crawl for the first time.

Suddenly the boys noticed the adults presence, and Logan dropped the squishy ball from his hand. The ball rolled into the net, and the older boys broke into cheers.

"Ha the Diamonds score the winning goal!" James cheered dancing in a circle wiggling his small butt. Carlos and Kendall cheered for Logan, obviously hating the fact that they lost but were happy that Logan scored.

"That's no fair; you have _Logan_ on your team!" Carlos whined.

"Yeah it's so not faiw! Next time I want Logan to be on my team!" Kendall pouted. Logan sat on the floor on his belly giggling to himself, staring up at the adults.

"Brooke, Kevin I think Logan just…"Jennifer trailed off with a huge smile.

"My baby is finally crawling! Oh Kevin, go get the video camera! This is Logan's first crawl! Go, hurry!" Brooke cried kneeling down next to Logan, cooing softly.

"Kendall, how did you guys get Logan to crawl?" John Knight asked his son. The blond beamed figuring out that they weren't in trouble.

"Well since we couldn't play hockey anymowe we came up with a new game. Logan had wolled onto his stomach and just wolled around thewe so we figured that would be soooo cool to twy and play a hockey game like. Without sticks though!" The energetic four-year-old laughed excitedly in one breath. "Then we gave Logan the puck, James called him to be on his team though – dang it. And Logan stawted cwawling and then he scored! So cool wight?"

John and Jennifer nodded with a chuckled watching Kevin and Brooke film Logan who was now crawling towards Brooke for his stuffed puppy.

James couldn't help but feel his heart swell in pride. Logan had crawled for the first time, when_ he _was around. Not mommy or daddy. Logan was finally crawling.

That was just one step closer to being old enough to play for real.

And James couldn't help but love that idea.

* * *

**Soooooo how was it my lovely readers? Cute enough for you? Baby Logan just makes me want to cuddle and coos like a complete idiot! SOOO CUTE! **

**Anyway, don't know when the next chapter will be up. But if I'm motivated enough and have time, hopefully soon! Please leave a review or comment in the review box, I'm telling you they make me smile so much. I just love them all!**

**Oh and I HAVE A WARNING, PLEASE READ! So this story is obviously rated T, but there is a reason behind it. I just want to give you a heads up; in the future there will be something else besides fluff, for why this story will be rated T. It's the main plot line. But you won't have to worry for a few more chapters. This is meant to be a cute story with brotherly love, but there is a reason why it's rated T. So heads up!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	3. 3 Logiebear

**Hey, hey my fellow readers. Why what do we have here? The third chapter of A Brother's Love! I just love this chapter. I can't believe how fast I was able to get this story updated with this chapter. Don't expect too many more everyday updates. That never happens! And it might not after next week. School starts a week from Monday, and I'm always busy then. But I do have TWO off hours so I'm thinking I can use one for school work and dedicate the other to this story (and my other ones)!**

**I hope you guys like this chapter, I don't know if it's as cute as the other one buuuut I did put in quite a bit of cuteness. How can their not be cuteness with "Logiebear"? Tell me! And also pay attention to the DATES because each chapter may not go in a "timeline order", and some will be flashbacks later on. So check the dates to see how old each boy is etc. **

**Again I want to express my THANKS to those who have reviewed the last two chapters and faved, alerted and followed this story or me as an author! You guys continue to amaze me and make me happy. I try to respond to every review, so I hope I haven't missed anyone 0.0'. But seriously THANK YOU, I never thought it would get this popular. (Well 12 reviews in 2 chapters is a lot for me…)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the boys of BTR just this plotline with blood-brother James/Logan.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 3: "Logiebear"**

_June 11, 2000_

"Logie! Logie! Logie! Guess what?" James bounced excitedly into his little brother's room. Luckily the baby was already awake. James had completely forgotten the idea that Logan could still very well be asleep, and he would have been so _dead_ if he had woken up Logan. Mommy and Daddy would have been quite angry, if they had been woken up to Logan crying.

_That could have actually turned into a disaster._

But it didn't, so no harm, no foul!

Instead Logan was standing up in his crib, clutching the top of his bars wiggling back and forth. The now, nine-month-old baby gurgled upon sight of his brother and he bounced excitedly. Logan giggled again when James ran into the room.

"Jay! Jay!" The baby said happily. Logan had begun talking – like a _normal_ human being, as James would have said – about two weeks ago. He could really only say some words, names or _extremely_ simple sentences. Like, "I love you". He had also begun to walk about three days ago, taking real steps. Since then, Logan wanted nothing more than to walk _everywhere_ and explore. Of course, he still needed to hold onto a hand – or two! – when walking around. But he was actually walking finally.

"I wuvs yoo!" Logan giggled to James. With a happy laugh, James bounded up to the crib looking up. He grabbed the bars with his own small hands, unable to see over them. He was just too small to get Logan out, let alone _see_ into the crib himself.

"I love you too Logie." James cooed hopping in excitement and anticipation on the ground. He just had wonderful, amazing, super-awesome news to tell Logan. And he wanted to be the _first_ one to tell Logan. "Guess what? Guess what brother?!"

"I wuvs yoo!" Logan screeched happily, not fully comprehending that James was asking a question. See, Logan could understand things somewhat when people talked to him, but that's if he was really listening or it was a simple question or request. Most of the time Logan blurted out whatever he wanted deeming it necessary to repeat it over and over.

Usually it was baby talk and babble. But once Logan got out a real word or sentence he repeated it more than once or twice. He never really paid attention to what others were saying. He would giggle or smile when people talked to him, and say anything; loving the praise he got even when he didn't make any sense.

"I know, but can you guess what I'm about to say?" James couldn't stop grinning as Logan looked down at him, babbling nonsensically. "No? Ha, well then do I have some great news for you little brother!" He jumped up as high as he could in amusement, earning a loud giggle from Logan.

"I wuvs yoo! Wuv, wuv, Wuv!" Was all Logan continued to say.

"Well you know how there's that lake um, Sugar Water Bay? Yeah, well it's like ten minutes from our house! Carlos, Kendall and I always go skating and play hockey on it when it's frozen in the winter. And in the summer we go fishing and have picnics! So you know what Mommy and Daddy and everybody else has planned for us today?" Logan paused in his long babbling of noises to look at James. His plump pink lips opened in a small 'o', and his brows furrowed in concentration.

His dark brown irises focused on James for a second, while the shaggy haired brunette waited to see if Logan would answer. Finally Logan, slapped a hand on his crib giggling.

"Jay wuvs yoo!"

"No silly, I love _you._ Well, I mean I do love myself too…" James protested falling into an awkward silence. Which was soon interrupted by Logan's loud grunt of attention seeking. "Oh right! No, today we are all gonna go on the first summer picnic at Sugar Water Bay this year! And go fishing, or swimming in the lake! But not too deep, 'cause the water is so yucky the further out you go, and your too little! But you don't have to worry. I'll make sure you're totally safe and protect you! So will Carlos and Kendall and maybe even Katie!" James proclaimed, pointing his finger at Logan.

Logan stared at James the entire time he spoke, focusing happily on James' voice. He smiled his precious baby smile when James looked up at him and opened his mouth.

"I wuvs yoo, Jay!"

* * *

"I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so excited!" Carlos bounced around all over the Diamond living room chanting in joy. "I am so-oo-o excited. I am. So excited! So excited! I am so-oo-o excited!" He sang just as Kendall and even James joined in, singing together about their enthusiasm.

While the three boys sang in the living room, Katie sat on the bar stool in the kitchen watching her mother and Sylvia and Brooke pack the lunches away in picnic baskets. She eyed where every food – and sugary snack – was being placed, so later she would know.

John Knight and Juan Garcia were packing the three cars with blankets, fishing tools, towels and everything they would need for a blast at the lake. Kevin on the other hand, was wresting with Logan to get sunscreen on the baby. Brooke had managed to get a layer on earlier, before Logan erupted into earsplitting wails and she let him go. The baby remained in his room among his stuffed animals on the floor when Kevin had entered thirty minutes later.

The little baby immediately broke out into shrill sobs, crying and squirming to get away from the substance meant to protect him from the sun. Logan continued to shriek and cry in his room while his father tried to put another layer on sunscreen. To be honest, he didn't understand _why_ Brooke insisted Logan have another layer of sunscreen on. He was going to be wearing a pool shirt over his body and his swimming trunks.

Honestly why not save the little brown-haired boy from his misery? Logan obviously didn't enjoy this, so why make him go through it _again?_ All Kevin knew was, Brooke was going to deal with Logan the next time if she wanted more sunscreen on him, by herself.

"Come on buddy, it's not going to hurt you. I promise if you let me get your face we can be done!" Kevin pleaded, walking to the font hallway where Juan and John were about to leave to finish packing the Knight car. John chuckled as he watched Logan squirm shaking his head when Kevin smeared some sunscreen onto his pale face.

"Having fun?" He asked over Logan's annoyed cries.

"No! No! No!" Logan shrieked over and over attempting to escape the evil substance his father was putting on his face. Kevin sighed and quit rubbing in the sunscreen. He shifted Logan into his other arm and headed out with the other fathers.

Logan noticed Kevin wasn't rubbing in his face anymore and quickly patted his cheek to make sure he was done. His crying finally stopped even though he still had three white globs on his cheek and forehead, from sunscreen that Kevin didn't rub in.

"No? Is daddy being mean to you Logie buddy?" John pretended to gasp dramatically. Logan sniffled and gave a nod.

"Dada baa! Baa Dada!" He babbled. John chuckled even when Kevin stopped to glare at his friend. He shook his head setting Logan on the ground, grabbing his hand right away, before the baby could wander off. Logan wobbly stood upright clutching his daddy's pant leg gazing around the huge world around him.

"Hey quit making me look like the bad guy. Brooke's the one who insisted Logan needed _more _sunscreen on!" Kevin complained keeping a firm hold on Logan's hand. The youngest Diamond boy was twisting around to look everywhere.

"Ha little Logie hasta weaw sunscween!" The five year old blond boy laughed. He was running out the front door with Carlos and James. Logan squealed when seeing the three young boys.

"Kendall Francis Knight, you will have sunscreen on too young man, so I wouldn't be laughing if I were you." Jennifer scolded at her son, who looked mortified. He quickly looked to his papa who nodded in confirmation sadly. Kendall dropped onto his knees dramatically and looked up at the blue sky.

"Noooo! Cuwse you sunscween." The boy still had trouble in speech patterns with his r's. James and Carlos saluted Kendall with smiles.

"It's okay Kenny," Carlos helped his friend to his feet. "James and I had ta put on sunscreen too already. You're not de only one." He sighed sadly as the adults helped their sons into the cars. James waved at Carlos and Kendall when the other's got in their car and waited for his daddy to help him into his own car seat.

"Kevin you didn't even rub in Logan's face all the way!" Brooke huffed angrily after she strapped the little baby into the car seat. Logan whined and writhed in the car seat wailing loudly once more, when his mother rubbed the sunscreen in. "Baby hold still!" She sighed over Logan's cried and baby gibber. Finally the sunscreen was completely rubbed in and both Diamond boys were strapped in their car seats.

James covered his hands with his ears when Logan wouldn't stop crying, even once Kevin had started the car. Brooke turned around in her seat whispering softly trying to calm Logan down.

"Mommy! He's so loud, make him stop crying!" James complained, ears still covered. Brooke let out an exasperated sigh and continued to try and calm the new baby.

"Logan baby, it's okay. Shh. Shh, calm down sweetie."

But Logan wouldn't quit crying as he fidgeted in his car seat flailing his arms. James groaned twisting away from his brother in annoyance.

This was going to be a long car ride.

And a long one it sure was. The ten minute ride felt like ten hours to James, listening to Logan cry and cry, unable to talk to Carlos or Kendall. Even to the parents, the short car ride felt much longer than it was.

Finally they pulled into the parking lot of the lake, already beginning to crowd with people. James clapped in motivation, turning to Logan. Forgetting that Logan was still crying, James spoke eagerly.

"Look Logie! Look, we're here! We're here! At your first ever picnic at Sugar Water Bay!" He cried happily pointing out the car window. Logan's cries quieted down when James spoke, turning to the boy, cranky but curious. James looked at his brother's red eyes biting his lip. He quickly wiped the tears off Logan's cheek and grinned.

"You're going to have so much fun here! I just know it! Sugar Water Bay is the bestest!" He laughed. Logan managed a giggled, waving his right arm happily. Brooke and Kevin grinned once the car was parked and chuckled.

"James son," Kevin said in between laughs. "It's called _Salt_ Water Bay, not Sugar. _Salt._" James felt his face grow red with embarrassment and his ears heat up. It was actually a good thing Logan didn't pay attention and didn't understand, otherwise he would have made a complete fool of himself.

"Oh. Um, uh, well they're both white…and um, you put them on, um, uh stuff." James squeaked pitifully. His parents chuckled once more before exiting the car. Brooke helped James out of the car, who was still hiding his red face in shame, while Kevin pulled his smallest son into his arms.

Logan giggled and drooled onto Kevin while the Knights and Garicias began unloading their own cars with the Diamonds. James, Carlos Kendall and Katie (Kendall had a firm hold onto Katie's hands) all ran as fast as the could to two large bench tables near the water and trees to claim as the "Awesomest and Coolest family ever" spot.

Once everything was unloaded and the adults could sit down, Juan went straight to helping the boys begin to fish in the lake. Logan sat on his mommy's lap while Katie sat on her own mother's lap, as the three women conversed. Grabbing cokes from the cooler, John and Kevin headed over to help Juan and the boys.

"I'm soo gonna catch the biggest and baddest fish ever!" Carlos bragged once his line was in the water. James raised a perfect eyebrow taking his fishing pole from Papi Garcia's hands, once his own line was in the water.

"No you awen't! I am!" Kendall objected louder than necessary. James shook his head with a playful growl.

"You guys are so both wrong! You forget my amazin' skills so I _will_ be the manliest man and catch the biggest, most baddest fish in the history of big and bad fish!" He bragged flipping his hair. Kendall and Carlos rolled their eyes simultaneously. Carlos grinned in a mischievous manner when an idea came to mind.

"Hey, Hey Logie! Logan!" The little baby looked up from his mother to stare at Carlos drooling on the plastic rings he had. "Who's going to win? Say Carlos!"

"'Los! 'Los!" Logan squealed with a giggle not knowing better. The women cooed at the adorable baby, smothering him in kisses.

"Hey that's cheating! Logan doesn't know any better! He always says the name of the person he see!" James snapped angrily. Kendall huffed in a pout.

"Yeah, besides youw name is Cawlos no 'Los!" He stuck his tongue out at the tan, helmet headed boy. Carlos yelled loudly, then proceeded to tackle Kendall into the dirt tossing the poles to the ground. The two boys rolled in the dirt wresting when they hit James. The hazel eyed boy fell to the ground and was instantly swallowed into the fight. By then it was full on – playful but serious for two four year olds and a five year old – fight.

"Boys! Boys!" Jennifer and Sylvia cried running over to the fight. "Boys, stop it this instant! This is just silly!"

None of the boys stopped their fight in the dirt until all three of their pulls were tugged on harshly. The three boys froze in their fight, staring right at all three poles.

"I got a bite!" Carlos cried rushing to his pole.

"Me too!" James followed.

"Me thwee!" Kendall grabbed his and the three began to reel in their lines. Only to figure out that all three lines had gotten tangled together looking like one big, messy line. On the bright side all _three_ boys caught _a _fish together. Which they were willing to share proudly as _best friends._

* * *

"See Logie, the water's not too bad." James said softly holding his brothers hands above his head. Logan twisted in the water that was up to his waist, and to James' knees. Logan giggled taking another wobbly step forward in the water. James followed carefully, never letting his brother's hands go. Kendall, Katie, and Carlos were all close by the two and Kevin and John were right behind them ready to help.

"Waa-waa." Logan babbled, attempting to say water. James grinned at his brother. Slowly he lowered one hand and Logan's hand down into the water. Logan squealed loudly in laughter slapping at the water.

"Yup water Logan. It's so much fun!" Katie smiled splashing her own big brother. Kendall glared but splashed back jokingly.

"Whoa! Look at that!" Carlos suddenly cried. The seven of them turned to the direction that Carlos was pointing in and froze. John and Kevin quickly moved right next to their kids, fear evident on their faces, breaths hitched in their throats. The kids, however, were frozen in awe, even Logan.

For in font of them on the other side of the lake on the land was a _Brown Bear_. A big one too.

The bear was on it's hind legs, sniffing the air, oblivious of the eight human beings five hundred meters away from him. He sniffed again letting out a soft growl and noise. It sounded like a grunt and a snarl mixed in the back of his throat. Again he made that noise raising one meaty paw up. John had his son and daughter behind them ushering them back silently, while Kevin grabbed Logan in his arms and pushed Carlos and James back.

The bear was still unaware of their presence and lowered itself onto all four paws. Still it made that same growling noise, before turning his head.

Right at the eight of them.

Seven of them froze, but Logan was quietly babbling to himself completely unmindful of the fact there was a four hundred pound carnivore on the other side of the lake. Nope, he was joyful and happily sitting in his daddy's arm, not registering any fear.

The bear continued to stare at the family unmoving. When suddenly a new sound broke out.

"Raa-wr. Rawr." Little baby Logan was trying to imitate the noise he had just heard the bear make. He continued to growl in Kevin's arms, high pitched and pathetic. But the bear had heard the "Logan growls" and turned away from the family. Slowly it made it's way back into the woods on the opposite side of the lake, and disappeared.

The family breathed a sigh of relief, well except for Logan who was set on the ground with James, still trying to growl like a bear.

"Ra-ww-r! Raww!"

Carlos chuckled before grinning brightly. He turned to everyone and jumped in pleasure.

"Guys, guess what Logan is! Guess! Guess!" He waited but no one had any idea what he was talking about. "He's a Logiebear! He's our Logiebear that pushed de real bear away!" Everyone laughed at the Latino taking in the new nickname.

"Well Logan it seem you got a new nickname you'we ouw Logiebeaw!" Kendall hugged the baby gently. James grinned in pride glancing down at his baby brother.

"Reporter James Diamond of the Salt Water bay wildlife here. I'm here with a brand new species never seen before until today." James held an invisible microphone to his lips and slowly walked behind Logan in pretend caution with his father holding Logan's arms. Logan continued to growl and rumble. He waved to Carlos the "cameraman" and Kendall his "co-reporter".

"Yes hewe we have the species known as Logiebeaw, intewacting in it's natuwal habitat." Kendall continued.

"As you can see the growl it is making is unique and only heard by the Logiebear."

_Our Logiebear._

* * *

**And FIN! For this chapter. I had sooooo much fun writing this. This is my favorite chapter so far, and the whole time I was grinning while I wrote this.**

**Who enjoyed this chapter, huh? Drop a review in the box please. Anything will do, and I mention this in my PMs but they make my day and they make me happy. **

**Anyways, I LOVE little Logan trying to be a bear! He's so young and little and he's imitating something so huge and dangerous! Haha, so cute.**

**So I guess that's all I have to say for now, except if anyone's got a twitter I would look into following anyone and they could follow me. Or not… I'm just looking to find stuff to do on twitter when there's nothing new with BTR at some moments of my days. Haha their tweets are so sweet sometimes!**

**So that's it. Review please and peaceout!**


	4. 4 Save the Day

**Hey you guys, how's it going? Who's ready for the fourth chapter of **A Brother's Love**? I know I am! I'm so stoked at the moment for this chapter! I hadn't written anything since chapter 3 on Friday, and I LOVE this chapter. Yeah..**

**Longest chapter yet! WHOOHOO!**

**Anyway THANK YOU all for all your responses whether it's a review (every single one had made me smile or even laugh!) alert, favorite or follow! I'm so happy to have a lot of hits on this story also and commotions For me it's defiantly a lot and THANKS.**

**Also this chapter is slightly dedicated to **mandamichelle** because she gave me a suggestion and I already had this in mind. So I hope you like what I did with James! And also there will be more chapters to go along that suggestion idea. **

**Disclaimer: If I owned BTR well…haha…ha..h..you don't want to know how it'd go.**

**Enjoy!**

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**Chapter 4: Save the Day**

_June 9, 2000_

Brooke Diamond let out a tired sigh when she plopped herself onto the couch. She could feel her body aching and her limps protesting weakly when she shifted. To say Brooke was tired, was an understatement. She was exhausted. Completely and utterly drained of energy.

With Logan learning to walk now, and talking slightly the boy had more energy than before. He stayed up later, protested more and cried more at night. Between the nine-month-old and her other four-year-old son and everything else, she was just so, so _tired_. She hadn't had a full relaxing day to herself in months, and she couldn't even remember the last time she had slept a full night.

With a sigh she shut her eyes enjoying the momentary peace and quiet the mansion held. She had also recently returned to work part time, and that was no help to reduce her stress. In fact some days it made it worse and Kevin would take the boys out for ice cream on a day she was stressed out, to spare the poor boys of her wrath.

Logan was on his back in the center of the floor, on top of a mound of blankets and his life size stuffed _Whinnie the Pooh Bear_ toy fast asleep. Small snores escaped his pink lips as he slept leaving Brooke to smile. Logan was finally down, maybe _now _she could get some sleep.

It was a shame though, for her peace only seemed to last about ten seconds before it was ruined by her other son. She heard his footsteps pounding down the stairs before he even reached the room.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Brooke opened her eyes tiredly to see her eldest son running into the living room, narrowly avoiding the sleeping Logan. His new light-up converses were still untied, the laces dragging on the hardwood floor. His jacket was on his right arm and just flapping behind his left arm. A bright smile filled his rosy face as he came up to his mother.

"Mommy, are you ready to go? Huh? Wait, first you gotta wake Logie! He's ready to go right?" James panted stuffing his left arm in the jacket sleeve. The little boy turned towards baby Logan who was now waking up also.

The baby let out a silent yawn, mouth wide open, eyes scrunched up. His hands clenched in fists stretching high above his head while his little legs kicked out. James giggled at Logan when the baby kicked his legs a few more times staring up at James and his mother. Soon the baby also let out a high pitched giggle sensing James' happy mood.

"Mama! Jay!" He giggled still kicking his little feet out.

"Looks like Logie's ready. Are you mommy?" James asked eagerly; his eyes were large and shinning brightly up at his mommy. Brooke blinked in confusion for a moment.

"Ready for what sweetie?"

James then gasped dramatically, hand over his heart. "You mean you forgot our play date mommy?" He whispered. Brooke raised one eyebrow staring her son down. "You promised we could go to the park today. You, me and Logie. You promised last week!" James cried and his mommy mentally slapped herself.

James was indeed correct. He wasn't making this up. In exchange for a day of no shouting, yelling, crashing, or breaking things, James was supposed to get a day at the park with her. She _had_ promised him last Monday that they would be going _today._

But she was just so very tired.

"Oh James," She sighed remaining on the couch. She was in a conflict right now, between relaxing and her promise. She glanced back at James and Logan heart almost breaking.

James looked absolutely crushed at the moment. His face was crumpled into pure disappointment at the idea his mommy had forgotten. Lower lip trembling, eyes glistening with unshed tears: The ideal look of defeat.

Little Logan was getting ready to go. He understood they were going _somewhere else_ besides this room. The brunette baby was pushing himself off the ground on his hands, to stand on his two feet. Already he was ready to go. Logan didn't need to get ready like everyone else.

"Oh sweetie," Brooke tried reaching for James' arm. "I'm so sorry. Mommy's just so tired lately. I just want to relax sweetie. I'm so sorry. We can go another d –"

"But you _promised_!" James cried yanking his arm back harshly away from his mommy. Logan wobbled on his two feet and latched onto James' jacket. Despite his sadness, James managed to hold Logan upright as the baby fooled with the zipper of his big brothers jacket. Logan gibbered to himself moving the zipper up and down in concentration. James turned back to his mother, eyes still filled with unshed tears.

"You promised." He whispered even quieter than before, head down. Brooke bit her lip, throat raw at the sight before her. She honestly didn't want to break her promise about taking them to the park.

"Well James, mommy can't take you because I'm supposed to take you boys to the park." Kevin stepped into the room; grin bright as the stars, cheeks rosy with laughter. Brooke watched her son cheer and hug her in thanks before looking at her husband.

It was moments like this that reminded her why she fell in love with Kevin in the first place.

* * *

"Ready to go boys?" Daddy Diamond asked as he strapped Logan into the wagon. James nodded with a bright, pearly white smile. Logan was more focused on the sunhat on his head. His two hands were clutching the rims of the hat in curiosity. "Logan, no! Leave the hat on okay?" Kevin fixed Logan's hat and stood up.

"Don't worry daddy. We're ready. Even Logan." James assured his daddy setting the bag of supplies in his lap as he sat on the other end of the wagon. The two boys were seated inside a wooden and red metal wagon while their daddy pulled them by the handle. Once the wagon started moving Logan squealed in excitement clapping his hands.

James couldn't stop smiling at his little brother. "Are you happy Logie? Isn't this so cool?" The baby didn't respond but simply giggled loudly, clutching his hat again. Logan managed to grab the rim of his sunhat and yank the whole thing off. From there, he proceeded to stuff a small section into his mouth, then attempt to eat the hat.

"No Logie! You're not supposed to eat that bud!" Kevin sighed wrestling the hat out of Logan's hands and place it on his head. Logan burbled flailing his arms harshly. He looked up to the sun hat, reaching with tiny fingers again.

"How much longer daddy?" James asked impatiently when the wagon began moving again.

"Not far son." His daddy answered. The playground park was about a five minute walk from their house, which was nice considering James wanted to go _everyday_. The playground was huge, with swings and slides; seesaws and carousals; monkey bars and poles and so much more. It was one of James' havens.

Logan decided to break the silence by beginning his rants of baby gibberish. His right hand clasped the blue sunhat on his head, while he talked, yanking the sunhat back off his fluffy hair. Giggling in pride, he bit onto the hat again covering it in his drool.

James watched the baby in mock horror. "Logie no! That's s'posed to protect you from the sun! Leave it on!" He leaned over and snatched the sunhat. Logan blinked looking up at James.

"Jay, Jay." He murmured tilting his head. When James reached over to place the hat back on Logan's fluffy hair, the baby used the opportunity to latch his hands onto James' green sunhat. James cried out from the sudden pull, pushing Logan's hat on. He dashed his head away protectively grabbing his head.

"Nu-uh mister. No way! That's my hat!" James exclaimed. Loan forgot about James' hat and grabbed for his own.

"Daddy, are we there yet?" Whined James ignoring Logan pulling off his blue hat. Kevin chuckled but pulled the wagon slightly faster. James couldn't help but gasp and squeal in delight.

They had arrived at the playground!

"Daddy, I want out. Want out daddy!" James squirmed, trying to unbuckle the safety strap. Logan watched James curiously with his hat (once again) in his mouth.

"What do you say Jamie-boy?" His daddy looked down at him expectantly. James sighed impatiently.

"Please, can I get out? Please?" James asked softly. Kevin nodded with a small smile, unbuckling the safety strap on James. The brunette jumped vigorously climbing out the wagon. His young face lit up excitedly as he gazed around the playground. Immediately, James went straight for the monkey bars.

The boy climbed up reaching for the smallest set of monkey bars and leapt. Until he was simply hanging by the bars. A pink tongue darted out his lips as he reached for the next bar.

Silently grinning, Kevin pulled the wagon to the side of the monkey bars – after placing Logan's hat on his head_ again_ – and followed James carefully.

"There you go James, you're doing great bud!"

After grabbing the fifth bar, James reached for the sixth only to slip. James felt his arm miss the bar and fall, jerking the entire right side of his body down.

Panic flooded through James as he dangled helplessly. He couldn't reach the next bar.

"Whoa! Hold on buddy." Kevin grabbed his sons flailing right arm. He went to place James hand on the bar, only to have James shake his head.

"Nu-uh. I'm done of the monkey bars daddy." Hr scowled. Kevin lowered the boy to the ground, woodchips crunching under his converses. At that time, Logan screeched reaching for James.

James smiled. "Don't worry buddy. I'm okay!" He patted Logan's hat-head when the chocolate-eyed baby calmed down. Logan laughed, reaching for James again.

"Daddy, we got to let Logie out! See, we got to show him the playground. He can explore now!" James exclaimed suddenly. He snatched his daddy's hand and dragged his daddy to the wagon.

Logan had in fact been to the park on multiple occasions in the past. Quite a few times actually. But he really hadn't been old enough to play or do anything besides go on the baby swings.

Except now, now he was old enough.

* * *

"Alrighty Logie, time to go on the little slide now." James said softly. Logan gurgled, hands clutching the railing bars, stomping his little feet. Logan looked up, eyes big and shinning causing James to grin.

He gently pushed Logan's sunhat (that was now tied to his head with the strap, so he couldn't take it off anymore) upward, so Logan could see properly.

The baby had on a pair of black overalls, a bright red fire truck t-shirt and no socks or shoes on. Allowing his little toes to pound onto the cool surface softly. Logan fisted a portion of his shirt continuing the stare at James.

"Let's go on the small slide. I'll go with you; that way nothing can happen while daddy's on the phone." James encouraged taking both of Logan's hands. The baby gasped softly but followed his brother.

A man from Kevin's work had a few questions about the law firm they both worked at. So Kevin was on the side for a moment talking into his cell phone. He wasn't far from the playground at all, but his back_ was_ turned.

"That's it Logie, follow me." James grinned leading the wobbly baby to the tiny slide. In all honesty the slide was absolutely small; probably only three-and-a-half feet long and barely two feet (at the top of the slide) tall. It was perfect for someone like Logan. And James didn't care that it was small, he only cared that he would be going down the slide _together_ with Logan.

Once they reached the slide Logan plopped down onto his bottom naturally and babbled on, while James set him properly on the slide. Then, the trouble began.

"Hey kid! What do you think you're doing?" A loud and rather obnoxious voice rang in the air behind James and Logan. Deep, pounding of heavy foots followed until James could feel someone _breathing_ down his neck.

He spun around to come fast to fast with the well, _biggest_ kid he had ever seen. Now the kid was wide, if you know what I mean. Not tall…

This kid looked much older than James, why he looked older than Kendall and Kendall was five! If James had to guess he'd probably say the kid was seven or so. Compared to his four-year-old self and nine-month-old brother. Speaking of whom, Logan slapped his palms down on the slide happily in his own little world.

"Um…I'm taking my baby brother down the um…slide." James squeaked out cowering slightly. The boy didn't back down but simply raised an eyebrow. He looked over James' trembling should to see Logan, and growled.

"Stupid squirts like him ain't allowed on _my _slide." The large boy spat. James frowned commanding himself to stop trembling. Which he did.

"Hey _stupid_ is a mean word! You shouldn't say it man." James rolled his eyes disgusted and folded his arms over his chest. The boy barked out a laugh and stepped closer. "Besides who said this was_ your_ slide? Maybe _I_ want it!"

The boy chuckled. "You're pretty tough, ain't cha kid? You ain't so bad." James felt a small smile at the praise he received. Lot's of people liked James. "But he isn't. He's lame." James followed his eyes to see the boy glaring at the bubbly Logan.

"You mean Logie? What?!" James gaped. _Who couldn't love little Logan?_

"Yup, he's just a dumb, little _brat!_" The boy hissed, stomping his voice down in a vicious bang when he said "brat". The power behind his stomp was enough to shake the small slide, which caused Logan to lose balance and fall onto his back. With a shrill scream Logan was sent down the little slide and into the ground softly. James stared in horror when Logan laid on the ground crying on the top of his lungs. _LOGIE!_

"HEY! Why'd you do that to my baby brother?!" James seethed, clenching his fists tightly. The boy however laughed.

"He's a wimp. He's just holding you back, he _always _will. Say kid, you're not bad looking. You have nice hair. You could become pretty popular easily. And then _everyone_ will love you." The large boy sneered. James nodded at each compliment and praise and paused in thought. Popular? Was it good to become popular? Well it must be if that means everyone loves you.

"And," The boys grinned darkly. "All you have to do, is let me deal with him. And just_ walk away._" James snapped his head towards Logan still crying on the ground and his heart made a decision swelling in strength.

In less than a second just as the boy took a step forward towards the slide James slammed his sneaker down on top of the other boy. The boy yelped hoping on his good foot, and out of fury James stomped down even harder on his good foot. With a girly yelp the boy fell onto his butt.

But James wasn't done yet.

"You're gonna wish you never messed with my little brother! I'm gonna go al Kar-a-te on you now! Hiii-ya!" James screeched flipping a flat hand into the boys gut and elbowing him in the ribs. The boy cried out pathetically and cowered into a ball. Finally James grabbed the hood of the boys jacket and yanked with all his might.

He then proceeded to tie the hood over the boys face and around a pole in front of them. With a snarl, James dusted himself off.

"Never _ever_ touch my Logie or else!" James threatened and ran down the slide. He ran into his father who was kneeling down scooping Logan into his arms, already hushing the baby down to calm him. James got a caught of his daddy's eyes. Where he saw boiling fury and _fear._

"Daddy I swear I didn't do anything! I swear! It – it was this kid and – " James pleaded fearfully he was in trouble.

"I know James I saw it all." Kevin whispered gently over Logan's sobs. He knelt next to the troubled older brother. "And while I don't encourage fighting, I'm so, so _proud_ of you James. You stood up for your brother and hurt someone who _hurt_ Logan. I'm very proud of you son." James beamed, tears in his eyes when his daddy ruffled his hair.

But no matter how much Kevin tried, Logan wouldn't stop crying or screaming. Nothing was working.

James stared at his upset baby brother, watching Logan's face turn red from crying and worry etched in him. That is until he saw the problem. On little Logan's right knee, there was a hole in the overalls where a large cut was bleeding slightly.

"Daddy lookie, his knee!" James cried. Kevin shifted the nine-month-old in his arms and found the ripped knee. He felt tears brim into his own eyes as he ran towards the wagon. James followed turning around to see an older woman helping the mean boy out from where James had tied in. Absolute fury – for a four-year-old – burned inside him.

"Daddy look, that stupid jerk's mommy is helping him! I hafta say something and tell her that that jerk hurt Logie! No, you should daddy! You're an adult and you have a lot more cool words you could say that I'm not s'posed to say!" James said suddenly looking up at his daddy. Kevin's face brightened to a cherry red for a moment.

"Please? For Logie?" James begged clasping his hands together looking at the still sobbing baby. "I'll give Logie a band-aid! Don't worry, he'll be okay with me!" James promised. Slowly Kevin set the crying brunette in the wagon and grinned shakily at James. "I know he will be, James. You're a great big brother saving Logan from that bully like that. I couldn't be more proud of you." James hugged his daddy, throat tight and nodded.

Not wanting his daddy to see him cry, he went straight to the band-aids lying in the cart. Carefully picking a large one out, James opened the package. Right before he put it on Logan's bad knee he looked at his brother's red face.

"I'm sorry Logie." He choked out, guilt rising in his stomach. He gently put the fire truck band-aid onto Logan's knee, patting on the fire truck. "I'm sorry. Now your overalls are ruined, and you got hurt and you must hate me now! I'm sorry you got hurt!" By now his own tears were falling on his cheeks, a hiccup escaping his lips every other breath. "But I promise I will always be there to protect you in the end. Just like I promised when I saw you for the first time, nine months ago. I promise I'll always protect you." James sniffled.

Slowly Logan's crying died down until he wasn't sobbing anymore. The last of his tears ran down his wet cheeks as he stared at James. Who, was the one crying by now. Logan looked at the fire truck band-aid on his knee, poking it curiously. He then looked at his shirt and back to James.

James looked at Logan through teary eyes to see Logan had stopped crying. He wiped at his face quickly, stopping his own tears, still hiccupping every now and again.

Logan pointed to his shirt first, then to the band-aid on his knee and looked at James. James chuckled hoarsely wiping Logan's face clean.

"Yup, they're both fire trucks. Cool, huh?" Once his face was dry and clean Logan pointed at the band-aid again before clapping happily. A loud and _happy_ giggled followed. James couldn't help but grin at his brother. Carefully he climbed into the wagon sitting right next to Logan.

Logan giggled once more and grabbed an open band-aid, before slapping it onto James' cheek. He giggled hysterically, pointing to James' cheek and then his own knee.

"Now we match. Don't we, Logie?" James laughed whole heartedly. Logan giggled before leaning into James and snuggling into James' chest happily. James smiled wrapping his arms around little Logie.

"I've got you Logan. I've _always_ got you."

* * *

**And )sob( the chapter is over. I feel so bad doing that to Logan, but I had to in order to make James a hero!** **I made him save and defend Logan. Now did y'all like that?**

**How was this chapter? Let me know! Leave reviews please and tell me what you like so far, suggestions, criticism, anything. Except flames. I will throw flames in water.**

**I hope you guys liked it, sorry for the lack of Kendall and Carlos. I figured since James and Logan were brothers there would be more moments of just them two. Also James' heroic and crying breakdown were things I think would have more of an impact if it were just the two of them.**

**Don't worry though, Kendall and Carlos will be in the next chapter **

**I hope you all enjoyed this and I really have nothing else to say, except who saw the whoohoo pic for Hershey park, with Logan in James' arms? Haha aww I just love how funny those two are.**

**Leave a review. Thanks and peace out!**


	5. 5 Halloween

**Hey all you people, what's up? Are you guys ready for the next installment of **A Brother's Love**? I sure hope so, but where did all the reviewers go? It keeps going down as more chapters come . Why?**

**Anyhow, THANK YOU to those who do take the time to review, some really make me smile and I respond back eagerly. Some I get and it is nice to talk to a reviewer! Also THANKS to my favorites, alerts and followers, you guys are so awesome!**

_**PLEASE READ THIS AN!: Hey guys, so this is important. So for this story itself I have a real plot that is coming out and ready to go. So that means this is NOT going to be a bunch of one-shots of Logan/James brother stuff etc. Like it has been for the past five chapters. Sorry guys, I have a real plot and these first five help dive into the plot in the next chapter and it's not a bunch of one-shots.**_

_**BUT I was wondering, while I continue with this story and the real plot, would you guys like when I finish this story (or while I am doing this story) the idea that I could do a separate side story, of just a bunch of one-shots with little James and baby bro Logan and Kendall and Carlos? Like, I could do a separate side story of 100 themed one-shots that connects with this one (so all the same characters, ages and etc.) only with no real plot. Just a bunch of one-shots (like these first five chapters) probably a 100 challenge. There I'll write any requests you guys have, ideas of my own that I have, chapters based on themed words. All of little Logie/James and the gang. So would that be something you guys would be interested in? I really would like your opinions on this; so should I have this story AND the separate one-shot filled story? The other story will connect to this one. Tell me your thoughts please and thank you! So if you guys let me know in a review or PM, I can let you know whether I'll do the connected (separate) story of one-shots. Also please don't leave this story because angst is coming in the next chapter. I promise more cutesy fluff will keep coming and flashbacks. And like the title says the main idea of this story IS James/Logan brotherly love with Kendall and Carlos **_

_**So please let me know if you want that other story guys. Please! Thanks!**_

**Long AN finally over….enjoy the chapter. Friendly fluff ahead!**

* * *

**Chapter 5: Big Bad Dinosaur**

_October 31, 2000_

Kendall was bouncing around on the balls of his feet, hoping from one foot to another, excitement already coursing through his body. And it wasn't even seven o'clock in the morning. But, who could blame him for being so excited on today? It was _Halloween_! The night of sugar, and candy; of scaring other people and dressing up in awesome costumes. Tonight was going to be a Big Night.

Not to mention, this would be the best year yet. Not only were they going to get more candy but finally someone else would be going. Now this year, one more person would be joining them in trick-or-treating this year. Which meant more fun for everyone and of course, more candy.

Bu this was also the first year _Logan_ would be joining them. The newly one-year-old would be joining them for his first trick-or-treating. Of course, Logan had a Halloween last year, but he had barely been a month old, so honestly he couldn't have done much. In fact, Logan had slept just about the entire day of Halloween last year.

But this year, he was old enough and big enough to go with the gang.

Kendall clapped his hands excitedly, still hoping around the kitchen, when Katie came down stairs in her red night gown. She rubbed her eyes blinking at Kendall.

"What's got you so happy?" She yawned. Kendall merely grinned dancing in a large circle by now. Unlike Kendall, Katie did not have a speech problem at all. Actually, Katie was always bragged about by people about how intelligent she sounded for someone so young. Kendall didn't mind people bragged about her though.

"Because sister this yeaw will be the best Halloween ewer! I'm going with James and Cawlos and you baby sis. And Logan finally get's to come along! The whole gang!" Kendall cried joyfully pulling his little sister into a hug, and twirling her off the ground. Katie had to laugh when she was being spun around.

"You're right big brother," Katie giggled once she was set on the ground. "Today will be the best! It's going to be all of us." She couldn't help but smile at the idea. Her brother and friends weren't actually so bad; they were rather nice to her. And Logan was the sweetest baby she had ever met, she loved him so much.

"Want to wake up mama and papa?" Kendall asked already heading towards the stairs.

Katie grinned. "Do you even have to ask?" With that the two were racing up the stairs, loudly and proudly.

* * *

"Canny?" Logan asked James for the hundredth time that day. Rather than exploding from annoyance, James chuckled and ruffled Logan's soft, spiky hair. Well, he was wondering the same thing as Logan actually. So it would be wrong to be impatient with the baby, after all the now five-year-old really wanted candy also.

"Not yet Logiebear. Candy comes _after_ we get dressed up and go out for trick-or-treating. But don't worry this year we're going to get lots of candy!" James rubbed his hands together, eyes glowing with a plan. Logan cheered stomping his little sandaled feet around. He walked around wobbly cheering with James.

"Yay! Yay! Canny!" He giggled. James, Kendall and Carlos had all been teaching Logan all about Halloween for the past two weeks. They made sure that he knew _everything_ he needed to know about the holiday, and Logan had learned a lot actually. He took in everything like a sponge, some things being soaked in even more than others – such as the candy, but overall the one-year-old was ready for Halloween.

"I really wish you hadn't gotten his hopes up in candy. You know he can't eat too much; I don't need him sick or on a sugar rush." Brooke sighed from her spot fixing dinner in the kitchen. James grinned shamelessly looking at the clock.

Right now it was 6:00 p.m. which meant they had about one hour before the others would come over for trick-or-treating. The fathers would be taking the group of five young kids trick-or-treating, while the mothers would head over with the two eldest Garcia children, over to the Knights resident to set up for a small Halloween party.

James was ecstatic, waiting impatiently for the others to arrive so they could leave. He couldn't wait to show Logan all the best routes and houses, and help Logan get candy.

"Dinner time boys!" Brooke called through the house. "Logan baby, come here." She held her arms out. Logan paused from continuing to stomp his feet and waddled over to his mommy. Giggling, he fell into her waiting arms, and she scooped him up into the air. "How's my little baby?" James ran into the kitchen quickly into his fathers awaiting arms. Quickly he was lifted high into the air, before seated in his seat at the dinner table. Kevin sat across from James while Brooke set Logan in his high chair. In front of each person was a steaming plate of spaghetti and meat balls.

James favorite dinner.

Logan of course, had his spaghetti cut up into tiny small pieces and one meatball cut up so much it looked like he had more than anyone. This was so he wouldn't choke but more so he would make less of a mess. Logan defiantly always made a mess, and the Diamonds did whatever they could to make Logan's messes _less_ messy.

Logan dug into his dinner immediately stuffing the plastic fork in his mouth, pasta sauce already making its way on his face. "Nummy! Yum! Yum!" He announced to everyone at the table. James chuckled at the mess Logan was beginning to make digging into his own dinner. The faster they ate, the faster they could begin getting dressed for trick-or-treating and the faster they could go.

The family finished dinner in record time and were left with just under forty-five minutes to clean Logan up and dress the boys up.

"How does it look mommy?" James asked curiously, coughing a bit when some hairspray sprayed in his face. At the moment his mother was styling and fixing his wonderful hair, to complete his Halloween costume. Brooke took one last spray with the long lasting hairspray on the back of James' hair where some rebellious hair continued to stick up, before they finally flattened down.

"Perfect sweetie. You're all done. Wanna see?" She smiled at her completed work and James cheered. He nodded quickly rushing to the full-view mirror in her room and gaped.

He looked…awesome! Simple as that.

This year James had decided to go as his own Rockstar, called _Jamez_. His hair was styled so it gently flowed over his eyes, swooping to the side. He wore a pair of mirror sunglasses, with a leather jacket on, and chains hanging from his grey skinny jeans. Knee high boots were the finishing touches to his outfit, along with a small toy guitar strapped to his back. James was no more. Instead _Jamez_ ruled the house.

"Wow, mommy! I look amazing!" James cried happily twisting into different poses in front of the mirror. Brooke laughed at her son hugging the little boy from behind.

"Kevin, is Logan ready to go? Everyone will be here soon." She called into the other room her other son and husband occupied. To answer her, both Kevin and Logan stepped into the room. With Logan clutching his daddy's hand shyly.

"Oh my Logie! Look at you baby!" Squealed Brooke camera already in hand from taking pictures of James.

Logan was in a complete one piece suit that was a T-Rex. The top of the dinosaur's head was at the top of Logan's own head, while the bottom jaw came under Logan's chin. So Logan's head looked like it was inside the T-Rex's mouth. His arms occupied the dinosaur's arms, ending with claws on each of his little fingers. A long, scaly tail complete with soft spikes completed the outfit. Logan made an adorable Tyrannosaurus-Rex.

"Whoa you're not Logiebear anymore. You look epic!" James breathed in awe causing the smaller brunette to giggle. Slowly Kevin bent down next to Logan letting his hands go.

"Hey Logie, can you show mommy and James what a T-Rex does? What does a T-Rex do?" He asked. Logan pondered for a second twirling his fingers. Suddenly in the next instant Logan jumped and ran – more like waddled – towards James and his mommy.

"Raaawr! Raaaawr!" His said in a high pitch and scratchy voice. "Raaawr! I eats yoo!" He growled. Brooke laughed running away from the "ferocious" dinosaur while James gasped in a dramatic horror.

"No! You can't eat _Jamez_!" He cried when Logan latched himself onto his older brother. Kevin chuckled swinging the camera from around his neck and began snapping pictures with the old 1970's Polaroid.

"_Jamez! Jamez!_ Is that your dinosaur? Can you answer some questions for the paparazzi_ Jamez_?" Kevin asked his giggling sons. That was Kevin's costume. He was a paparazzi following the pop star.

"Guys? You coming down? We're here!" John called from the bottom of the stairs. James and Logan froze from their laughter, and in a second James was dragging Logan down the stairs eagerly.

Time to get this show on the road.

* * *

"Trick-Or-Treat!" Four of the five children yelled once the door open. An older couple had answered the door and grinned sweetly down at the little children in their costumes.

"Oh my look at how cute you all look! What are you all?" The woman laughed taking handfuls of candy from her husbands bowl and placing it in each other the kid's pillow case.

"I play hockey, fow the Minnesota Wilds!" Cried Kendall, waving his hockey stick in the air. He had on a smaller version of the actual uniform, with pads, a helmet and hockey stick.

"Me? I'm a police officer, like mi Papi! 'Cept tonight he's de robber and I'm de copper!" Carlos giggled next to his father. Carlos had the entire get up a police officer would have even the hat and _handcuffs_, while his father was dressed in a black and white jumper smiling at the woman.

Katie wiggled her nose fixing the black mask around her eyes. "I am the one and only Cat Woman!" She fist pumped the air, with a cheeky grin.

"I am a Rockstar! My name will be _Jamez_!" James stated proudly fixing his shades. The couple laughed at each of the kids and looked at shy Logan holding James' hand. "This is my little brother, Logan! He's one and this is his first Halloween with us! It's so amazing! Logie tell her what you are." Logan blinked silently at the couple before holding his pumpkin bag out.

"Tick-o-canny?" He squeaked quietly. The couple sighed with an, 'awww' before placing _another _handful of candy in the bag. "Tank you! Dino! Raawr, rawr!" Logan growled with a childish smile. Everyone laughed at the baby before the family took off for the next house.

"Wow, look at how much candy we have already!" Five-year-old Carlos exclaimed jumping in his step. The others nodded in agreement.

"I know and look how much Logie has!" Kendall pointed out the bag that was the most full, which belong to Logan. His bag was in Kevin's hands because by the end of the night the bag would be much too heavy for the one-year-old.

"I told you having Logan would totally get us more! No one can resist the 'Logan'!" James smirked when Logan smiled under the T-Rex head. The baby grabbed his own tail twirling it around playfully oblivious to the others' plots.

In the hour and a half the family spent trick-or-treating; people had to admit they had gotten a large amount of candy. For a bunch of five-year-olds, a three-year-old and a one-year-old, they had done amazing.

Juan looked at his watch glancing at the paparazzi dressed father and the superman dressed father, who both nodded. "Okay _mijos y mija_ one more house and then it's time to go home to the party!" The group of children cheered, even Logan despite his yawn.

"Hmm, um, let's not go to that house." Carlos muttered quickly pointing to the house ahead of them. James, Kendall and Katie all looked to where he was pointing at. The house just ahead of them had no lights on, leaving the yard completely dark but what scared them the most was the large pile of leaves just sitting on the yard and the person standing on the porch.

James swallowed nervously. "Uh, yeah. We don't have to go there. Nope. Uh, let's um, just skip it!" The others were quick to nod without hesitation, even Katie.

Kendall noticed his little sister's fright and grabbed her hand gently, intertwining their fingers. He gave her a reassuring squeeze, which she responded to with a smile.

"It'll be okay." He whispered. James took a hold of Logan's hand and gave Carlos' hand to Logan's free hand. Kendall then took Carlos' free hand in his own and together the group made a long chain of handholding.

"Don't worry Logie, we'll skip this house and get the next one." Carlos said, voice no higher than a whisper when he caught sight of Logan trembling. The baby simply let out a whimper clutching James and Carlos' hands tighter. The group walked past the porch and house, with their fathers close behind almost making it past the yard until –

"_YAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!_" A loud scream erupted from the pile of leaves on the lawn; out jumped a man in a gorilla suit. He jumped continuing to yell right in front of the kids. All of which screamed grabbing each other.

Logan screamed louder than anyone else with Carlos close behind; the baby flung himself onto James, burying his face in the leather jacket.

Without a second to spare, John, Kevin _and_ Juan were on the masked gorilla man.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Scaring a bunch of little kids and a baby!" Hissed John. By then the man had taken of the mask, revealing a very pale face.

"One of them is a baby! None of them are older than five, and you think it's a joke to scare the crud out of them huh? Is that your sick joke?" Kevin was next to jump in and interrogate the man.

Juan clenched his fists standing tall, causing the frightened man to cower down. "They did _not_ go onto your property or walkway at all. You had absolutely _no_ right to scare them like that! They were trying to avoid your house and you still thought it would be funny to scare them!" By then the man was trembling under the heated glares, knees shaking.

"I-I'm s-sorry – "

"We're not the ones you should be sorry to." John spat. "Apologize to our kids this instant and _stay away_ from them or I will not hesitate to call the police!"

"Just so you know señor, I am a police officer. So I wouldn't do that again if I were you, comprende?" The man nodded quickly at Juan, turning to the kids.

"Look kids, I'm so sorry I scared you! It was wrong of me and – " The man couldn't continue because Logan shrieked loudly when the man came closer to them. James stepped back but Logan continued shrieking until Kevin pulled him into his arms. The glare he sent the man would make Al Capone shiver.

"Here kids you can have all of our candy. All of it!" The man ran to his porch snatching the bowl from his confused friend. To his word the man dumped every single piece of candy in that bowl, into each one of their bags.

As the family left the house to head home, with one last threat from the fathers, Logan was set down with James taking his hand. Kendall held Katie's hand while Carlos held Papi Gracia's.

"Bad man." Logan mumbled. "But you sabe meh!" He grinned acknowledging everyone. The other's could fight the feeling of pride that entered their hearts when Logan said that.

_It was a feeling like no other._

* * *

It was now just past 10:00 p.m. The party was over, but the adults were gathering around talking and drinking wine in the kitchen.

While in the room next door all seven children were fast asleep on the floor in the living room of the Knight's house. Pillows, blankets and candy wrappers were scattered everywhere around the kids. Kendall and Katie were snuggled up next to each other, with Carlos by Kendall's feet. His older brother and sister lay across his stomach and next to him. While James and Logan were curled up together, Logan on James' chest, sleeping peacefully against the others.

All were sleeping soundlessly and more safe than ever.

For they were all_ together._

* * *

**So my readers what did you think? Was the ending nice or bad? I'm not sure how I feel about the ending. Was it cute enough for you all I hope so.**

**Soo…the real plot starts in chapter six. I am SO EXCITED! I hope you are too, because now the brother love gets stronger and totally challenged. I hope you guys will enjoy it.**

**Please leave me a review, for some reason people aren't reviewing as much, is this story not good? Also do tell me through review or PM if you want that separate story idea I told you about in the previous AN, please. I would like to hear your thoughts.**

**And the gorilla guy in the leaves, that ACTUALLY happened to me when I was five or six. I almost started crying, and my lil sis. Haha, daddy was not a happy camper…**

**So leave a review please. Thanks and peace out!**


	6. 6 Disaster Strikes

**Heeey guys! Who is ready for the big drama? Because here it comes my lovely readers! I was stoked to begin writing this chapter, like you guys don't know how I'm feeling! Gah!**

**So as for the side one-shot story I think I will do it, but I'm not going to get started on it until I am over halfway done with this story. So not for sometime.**

**BTW, Kendall's birthday is March 2, 1995 in this story, not November 2. I accidentally messed up the ages and said he was four months older than James. But James, Carlos and Logan's birthdays are the same as the real guys minus the year. I just accidentally messed up. **

**Also again, THANK YOU to my lovely reviewers that make my day, each and every review is special you guys. Also I want to give a thanks to all those who faved, alerted or follows this story! You're just too awesome! And 900+ views in 5 chapters? Oh god I love you guys so much. That is seriously amazing for me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR. Just the little boys of BTR who are brothers!**

**Warning: Some violence and yes, angst starting now.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 6: Disaster Strikes**

_December 19, 2001 (Two years after Logan's birth)_

"Gaws, wai' up!" Logan Diamond blubbered trying to squirm away, in an attempt to escape his mother's death grip. The woman was frantically wrapping the two-and-a-fourth-year-old with _another _scarf. To go along with that, Logan was also wearing a winter hat, a jacket and a heavy coat, mittens, pants and boots. He was defiantly bundled up.

James sighed impatiently at his _mother_. He could never be impatient or tired with his little brother. Truth is known by everyone; Logan _adored_ James so much and James _loved _Logan. Ever since the day Logan was born the two brothers had an almost inseparable bond with one another. Even Carlos and Kendall treated Logan as if he were their little brother; allowing him to be a member of their band of friends.

Despite the age difference all four boys held a bond that looked as if it would last a lifetime.

Behind James, Kendall and Carlos snickered at Logan while Daddy Diamond sighed.

"Brooke, the Knights and Garcias are waiting for us already." He huffed with an amused smile in the cool Minnesota air." And Logan won't be able to walk, let alone _breathe,_ if you keep covering him up. Take that extra scarf off the poor boy." Kevin sighed when his youngest son look at him with long, pleading eyes.

His signature pouts that no one could resist.

"I just want my baby to be completely warm. It's cold out today and Logan's still just a baby and –" Brooke rambled on and on, much to everyone's dismay. That is until Kevin had swooped his smaller son up into his arms, discarding the extra scarf to the ground. Logan giggled hysterically as he was pulled into his daddy's arms. Daddy Diamond ran down the house steps towards his car; Kendall, Carlos and James were right behind the adult. In the background Mommy Diamond yelled hotly.

"Kevin! I swear to god, you are just as immature as you six-year-old son!"

As a response Kevin merely stuck his tongue out, with James following his example. Then Kevin proceeded to place Logan in his car seat. Logan babbled mostly to himself, proudly pulling off his mittens. It was a good thing the mittens were attached to his coat; otherwise they would have been lost by now.

As a big boy, James buckled himself into his own _booster_ seat, but struggled to close the car door. Once Logan was strapped in, Kevin went to James' side.

"Let me help you kiddo. Good job getting in the car by yourself buddy." He grinned before ruffling James' brunette hair. James whined with a pout, swatting at his father's hand.

"Dad, not the hair." The child fished out his "lucky comb" from his pocket, fixing his marvelous hair. Logan had given him the "lucky comb" for his fifth birthday, and the name really lived up for the comb, being lucky. Hey, looks were important, especially to James.

Logan giggled, Sock-Monkey™ foot in his mouth. He also had a stuffed panda laying next to him. Next to him James rolled his eyes._ Logan just didn't understand yet._

"Jame! Jame!" Giggled Logan. James couldn't help but smile, just a little. His own name had actually been Logan's first word _ever_. To say James was proud was one of the biggest understatements ever.

"Hey Logan, what color is the sky?" Kevin began their daily game, as they drove behind the Garcia's van. Every car ride that took more than five minutes the Diamonds (or anyone really) would ask Logan simple questions, as a way of teaching the smart two-year-old.

"Bwoo! Bwoo!" Logan cried clapping his hands. The child obviously meant blue, but he was just too adorable to correct. He was close enough.

"And the grass?" James continued. Logan seemed to ponder this as he bit on the Sock-Monkey™ foot.

"Gwee?" Logan asked. Right away, Brooke clapped her hands praising wildly. James chuckled looking out the window. He knew why Logan had paused. Here in Minnesota in the winter the grass was whiter with snow than actually green.

"That's right baby green! You're such a smart little guy!" She beamed proudly. Her praise was interrupted by James' shriek of joy.

They had finally arrived at the Minnesota Mega Mart Mall.

* * *

"Alright. Sylvia, Jennifer, Katie, Gabriella, Jose and I are off." Brooke announced once the kids were settled with the men. Katie on the other hand, looked miserable knowing the women were going to force her into girly dresses and such. The two oldest Garcia kids just looked plain old bored.

Kevin, Juan and John nodded. "Have fun shopping ladies!" They waved once the women left.

"So, where to?" Papa Knight asked. Kendall, James and Carlos were all bouncing excitedly on the balls of their feet, itching to run around. Logan was much calmer in his stroller, focusing on the seatbelt strap; eyebrows furrowed as he focused on the strap in concentration.

"Wanna hit the hockey shop guys?" Papi Garcia suggested. As soon as the word 'hockey', left his mouth the boys were jumping and shouting.

"HOCKEY!" Logan paused in his concentration, tilting his head – much like a puppy would – and he watched his brother and "brothers" jump around in hysteria. It was actually a funny sight.

"All right, all right." Daddy Diamond chuckled pushing Logan's stroller. "To the hockey store it is." And off they wnet.

Rather than spending some time at the store, the group of three men, three boys and a toddler spent over two hours in that _one_ store! Though, that tends to happen to crazy, hockey-loving fans. Which they _all_ were.

Kendall and James were currently in a head-to-head-sudden-death-elimination game of air hockey. With Carlos as the referee of course. Logan had joined their group for most of the time actually playing against each boy. He needed one other boy each time to help him up, and hold his hand to play. But as of right now, Logan was exhausted and snuggling in his daddy's arms. Kevin was just finishing paying for a new team jersey. He headed over to the other two fathers, having a great view of the other three boys, who were trying on skates.

Logan yawned loudly into his daddy's chest. Kevin smiled then ran a hand through Logan's messy hair.

"Tired buddy?" He whispered quietly. Logan managed a sleepy nod through another yawn. Kevin gently set Logan in his stroller, so the toddler could sleep while the men talked.

Instantly the two-year-old was out like a light. "Poor Logie." John chuckled, tying one skate up. "I bet he's glad he didn't have to go with the girls." Apparently the women had hit _ten _stores and were _still_ shopping; trying on outfit after outfit.

"Now we aren't – no we would never be that mean to little Logie!" Kevin pretended to gasp dramatically. The others laughed just as the three young boys ran over.

"Wow! This place is amazing!" Carlos cried with a jump, as he tapped his helmet happily.

"So, so amazing!" Kendall agreed with a grin.

"Daddy can we go to the playground now?" James begged, hands clasped together. He was ready to pull out his puppy-dog eyes or worse: use Logan to pout.

"And get something to eat!" Of course Carlos added. The three adults shared a knowing look before nodding. The three six-year-olds broke into loud cheers, awakening a fussy Logan. Logan whined at the noise, shifting in the stroller annoyed.

James noticed his little brother's awakening.

"Hiya Logie! You wanna play with us at the playground right? Yeah, of course you do! It'll be fun!" James decided already unbuckling Logan's seatbelt. Logan was _not_ happy. Right now he was fussy and cranky. Whining and flailing his little arms and feet at James, he tried to get James to leave. But James was oblivious to Logan's tiredness.

"_James_!" Kevin scolded sharply. James jumped away from Logan, as if the baby was acid. "You do _not_ take him out of the stroller by yourself. And leave him alone, he was sleeping!" Daddy Diamond growled re-buckling the fussy Logan in, who looked ready to start crying.

James' lower lip trembled at the scold and he sniffled. In that moment hot, _angry_ tears rolled down his face.

"Stupid Logan! Look at what you did!" He sniffled trying to wipe his face. "You never get yelled at. I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" He cried stomping his foot. The (now) sleeping toddler was oblivious to James' hate.

"James you don't mean that." Papa Knight tried but James wouldn't hear it.

"Yes I do. _I hate him forever!_" James snarled grabbing Carlos and Kendall's hand before stomping away.

Kevin sighed with a bit of guilt on his chest. It wasn't easy being a parent. James was beyond upset now that much he knew. But none of it had actually been Logan's _fault_.

"Oh James…" Juan bit his lip following after the boys with the other adults.

James simple refused to acknowledge or even _look_ at Logan for the rest of the time. As tears rolled down his face.

_I hate Logan!_

* * *

Another hour and a half later, the three boys were running around the indoor "playground/park". While the fathers finished their lunch. Logan had woken up about fifteen minutes ago and was currently being fed apple fries by the adults.

James glared from his spot in the jungle gym, over at _him_. While _he _tried to reach for more apple fries; reaching with sticky, tiny fingers. _He _was just stupid.

Logan reached again from his stroller for the apple fries. "Again kiddo?" Papa Knight laughed before handing the toddler his treat. Logan squealed happily, stuffing a piece of the apple fry in his mouth. Juice dribbled down his chin as he looked around the loud and crowded area. Still clutching the apple fry Logan spotted James. _James!_

Suddenly he dropped the apple fry and began reaching in James' direction, twisting and turning in the stroller just trying to get out. He gurgled and slapped at the strap with a sticky palm.

"Jame. Jame. Out!" Babbled Logan continuing to twist and turn. Kevin's eyes softened at Logan's attempts to get out. Until Logan began to cry softly out of frustration._ Logan wants James but James is still furious with him. I can't let him out to James._ However, Logan seemed to be growing more and more distressed by the second. He _really_ wanted his brother.

By now James noticed his brother crying. He had abandoned the jungle gym to glare in front of Logan. All he continued to do was glare darkly at the upset toddler.

"Jame." Logan whined, reaching towards his idol. Slowly James' heart began to beat a little faster. His mask of anger was starting to crack. With every cry of his name followed by tears, James became softer and softer. Eventually he sighed.

"Daddy, can Logan play with us?" He begged quietly. Kevin couldn't fight the smile growing on his lips. "He's awake now."

"Of course!" Leaning over, Kevin unbuckled his youngest son, pulling him out next to the eldest son. Instantly Logan stopped crying, only to smile and quickly grab James' hand. James grimaced through a chuckle feeling Logan's sticky hands. Daddy Diamond gently wiped Logan's face and hands and James' hand with a wipe until they were clean.

"Alright boys, stay together. And be careful!" Kevin yelled, eyes never leaving his sons once. It was a good thing the boys stayed in sight.

Logan giggled as James made him the prince of the "castle", who was supposed to be saved by the other boys. Right as the ladies joined the fathers for lunch, Katie had literally sprinted over to her brother and his friends sporting a new pink bow.

While the adults chattered with one another and Jose and Gabriella ate, all five younger children played together to save Logan. What they didn't know was that this "saving game" would become literal once bullies showed up.

Logan looked up still smiling to find two boys and a girl towering over him. These three were _older_ and _bigger_ than James, Kendall and Carlos. Uh-oh.

"Psh, what are you doing here little baby?" The tallest boy with red hair snarled. At his tone, Logan cowered down and hugged his stuffed panda bear, Benny, closer.

"Hey stupid, he asked you a question." The girl barked rather loudly. Logan visibly flinched, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes.

Logan didn't answer them; he didn't understand what they wanted with him or what they were asking. He was only two after all, he didn't understand everything. All he knew, was that they looked like mean people.

The last boy – a blond kid – knocked Logan to the ground. The toddler immediately broke into loud wails upon instinct.

"Babies that are stupid don't deserve to be here!" The bully smirked. All three of the older kids laughed at the abused brunette ignoring his cries.

"_HEY_!" The sudden and _furious_ yell caused the three bullies to jump. Behind them stood three very pissed off and fuming six year olds. Katie had run to get the parents. James' whole face was red with rage; Carlos had his fists clenched tightly until the usually tan skin was white and Kendall had a look of murder in his eyes.

They looked fairly scary for a bunch of first graders.

"Leave. Him. Alone." Seethed James.

"You guys are just _pathetic_ bullies!" Carlos' snarl was so unlike the cheerful and energetic boy. He rushed to Logan's side to calm the toddler down and to avoid fighting, while James and Kendall marched right up to the older kids.

"Did you touch my baby brother?" James growled and grabbed the leader's shirt. That was the thing about hockey boys: they were strong. No matter the age or height, hockey players were strong, tough and smart.

"I believe James here, asked you a question!" Kendall snapped kicking the tallest boy's shin. The boy yelped clutching his leg.

"N-No it was him!" The boy cried pathetically pointing to the boy who pushed Logan down. At that moment the trio protecting Logan saw red.

Time for some _payback_…

* * *

"Please explain to me again _why_ there is a boy hanging by his shoe laces on the fire pole, and another boy tied to the monkey bars with his shirt sleeves?" Kevin sighed rubbing his temples.

The playground was a mess at the moment, with crying kids and yelling adults. Not only were the boys forbidden to come back to the playground, but the _whole_ family was too.

Kendall, Carlos and James huffed never letting go of their three way hug on Logan. Logan just grinned to them, hugging back.

"We told you. There were those boys being mean to Logiebear!" Carlos tightened his grip on Logan.

"Even the girl, but we told her to beat it 'cause she's a girl." Kendall explained next, knowing it was wrong to touch a girl.

"And the boys pushed Logie down and made him cry!" James cried still fuming mad.

"So we taught them a lesson!" All three boys finished with bright grins. Despite being banned from the playground the parents (along with Katie, Gabriella and Jose) couldn't help but smile. They were so proud the boys were willing to stick up for their little brother. It was a feeling every parent _should_ feel.

Of course Brooke and Kevin were furious at the other boy's families, already giving them a piece of their minds. Their words had defiantly not helped their chances of being un-banned.

In the middle of the group fest, Logan was beaming brightly, with rosy-red cheeks and a feeling of warmth inside him.

The moment, however, was cut short. _Much too short._

In the next second, two things happened. First a blaring alarm ran out and hundreds of people piled into the middle of the mall where the families were. Second, three gun shots went off.

_Bang!_

_Bang!_

_Bang!_

And panic rose.

There were far too many people crowding around the center of the mall now, screaming and panicking. They were shoving one another around trying to get out. It was just too many people to not get lost.

Kendall, James, Carlos and Logan were completely separated from their parents, Katie and the two oldest Garcia kids, and swallowed up into the crowd. Bodies ran around, pushing the small boys around like pin balls; not caring if they fell or got hurt.

Kendall felt a tug on his left arm when Carlos was pushed straight to the ground. People continued to run around him screaming as more gun shots went off, nearly stepping _on top_ of the six-year-old. No one cared a little boy was on the ground. Of course, Kendall stopped running to help his friend up, only succeeding in losing James and Logan to the crowd.

"James! Logan?! _James?!_" He screamed.

No answer came.

James was beyond terrified, as he was constantly shoved around through the panicked filled crowd. He gripped a now crying Logan tighter.

He had no idea where his mommy or daddy was. He had lost Papa and Mama Knight, along with Papi and Mami Garcia. Katie and, Gabriella and Jose were probably with them. And now, Kendall and Carlos weren't with him anymore. So yeah, James was beyond terrified. He was all alone with his two-year-old brother, with guns shots firing and a screaming crowd.

"Jame." Logan trembled. His dark chocolate eyes were swimming with tears as he stared into James' frantic hazel ones. "I-I scawded Jame." He sniffled. James clutched his brother even tight when he was shoved harshly again.

"I know buddy, but i-it'll be okay." James croaked hoping he could believe his own words. "I-I love you Logiebear."

"I wuvs you Jamsey-beaw." Logan whispered back.

Little did James realize that sentence would mean so much more than he ever imagined.

James felt himself being knocked to the ground with this last shove, this time by something hard and cold to the back of his head. Logan rolled out of his arms when James fell to his knees. _Benny_ was flung across the tiled floor to the right of them.

Right then, Logan was ripped off the ground and thrown over a man's shoulder. The man was dressed only in black, wearing the creepiest clown mask James had ever seen.

Logan screamed bloody murder in the man's arms, making absolute heart-breaking sounds. At that moment the people in the mall saw what was happening to Logan.

The clown-man took one last look at James snickering, before sprinting away from the crowd. He raised a rifle shooting wildly. In a daze James heard a familiar scream.

"_JAME!_"

James snapped out of his daze and shot to his feet. He began chasing after the clown-man, who had Logan flung over his shoulder. James could still see Logan's terrified face, red and streaming with tears as he reached for James.

"Logan!" James screamed as loud as a six-year-old could. James shoved anyone and _everyone_ out of his way never breaking his sprint. And yet no one was bothering to help poor James. _"Logan!_" He screamed again.

The sight absolutely broke everyone's heart.

"_Jame_!" Logan sobbed and screamed over and over. Now James was fast for his age, but he was only six. He was chasing after a full grown man. "_Mama! Dada! Jame!_"

_No, no, no! He's getting away! He's taking Logan!_

When James attempted to push harder he was barreled into the ground again. Another cold piece of metal had struck his head with great force, sending him to the ground.

_Crack!_ James heard a sickening crack when his head came in contact with the tiled floor. By now he could feel that his head was bleeding.

Dazed and tired, James became aware that the clown-man had at least eight other goons with him. One had knocked James down. Running backwards he, and three others, continued to point guns threateningly at the crowd and a bleeding James.

_Logie!_

"No! My baby! No, Logan! Oh James god!"

"No, _Logan!_"

"He can't get away, someone stop him!"

"_Logiebear_!"

"Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

"NO! Not Logan!"

"Oh god, James! James, _Logan_!"

Screams of all over rang in James' ear just as the world began to fade from him. Sobs grew quieter, as did the chaos and noise were not more.

Just as James felt himself engulfed in the darkness; lost and alone.

Why Logan?

_Why?_

* * *

**Soooo, now who was expecting that? C'mon tell me? Did you see that coming? I hope not, it was my surprise drama twist. This is part of the real plot now. Oh baby, here we go.**

**Also I hope no one was uncomfortable reading this, especially after what happened in Aurora (I know because I live IN Colorado near that area). Just know I wrote this BEFORE that even happened and I don't mean to make anyone uncomfortable. **

**But I hope you enjoyed this chapter and my first cliffhanger! Haha! What's going to happen? Well I guess you'll just have to stick around to find out now won't you?**

**So leave a review please? I love to hear from all you guys and I respond back to each one that I can through PM. You guys make me smile.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	7. 7 Gone

**Heeeey guys! Amazing response to the last chapter. Such a hug twist. I'm glad no one saw it coming and it made a few people cry. It's okay I cried. And **_**I wrote the chapter**_**! Haha.**

**Well here's the next chapter, it took some work and more time to type than usual for me, so I hope you like it you guys.**

**Also does anyone know what the interview with the Big Time Rush boys, in all these GIFS with big microphones, and Carlos is like, "Yeah someone asked how my brothers were. And I said: 'James, Kendall and Logan are all great.' And they were like, 'No your real brothers.'" And James is saying how the boys helped him get through something? Does anyone know what that interview is called or where to find it? If you do could you please give me a link or tell me. Much appreciated! Thanks!**

**Enjoy this chapter, I worked hard! And THANKS to all the amazing reviews I got and faves, alerts or follows. You guys rock!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own BTR, that's why they are amazing.**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Gone**

_December 23, 2001_

Beep. Beep. Beep.

James slowly became aware of his surroundings, hearing the beeping noise first. All of his other senses were dim in his foggy mind, still just trying to wake up. He became aware of how much his head just _hurt_. A rhythmic throbbing was becoming noticeable along his skull, and his entire face felt too heavy.

His eyelids alone felt as if they were being held down with their own weights. A soft groan passed through his lips.

In that second he became aware of other presences in - well, _wherever_ he was. A gentle hand had taken his right hand, clutching it with soft fingers. Another pair of hands - these hands were longer and covered in scrapes - on his arm gently. As if he was fragile._ Was he?_

"James, sweetie can you hear me? James?" James paused in his own pain and frowned in his head. Wait, he knew that voice. That warm, caring voice was familiar. It was none other than his mommy's voice. Brooke Diamond.

"James. Honey, if you can hear me squeeze my hand. Okay honey?" Brooke tried again squeezing her son's fingers gently. James let out another groan but attempted to follow her orders. Only, it was much harder than he thought it would have been.

His eyes continued to weigh themselves down unable to move. He didn't even attempt to try and move his other limbs figuring they would be worse than his eyes. But if there was one thing James Diamond was not, it was a quitter.

James _never_ quit or gave up.

With a deep, mental breath James could feel his eyes slowly fluttering open. A white light flashed before his eyes when they finally opened. Causing the young boy to quickly close his eyes and try again, slower this time. With much effort James managed to finally open his eyes.

For a few minutes his vision was obscured and blurry. He blinked groggily until his eyesight evened out and the world was clear again. To his right, in his line of sight, was his mother. Tears were racing down her face, make-up smudged and smeared under her eyes for the first time in her life. Brooke Diamond had never let her make-up run before.

To his right was his father, face building worry lines and paler than a ghost. James lolled his tired head to the side to notice all the other's at the end of the bed. His friends and family all stood at the end of his bed, faces a mixture of tear, fear and relief.

"Oh James!" His mommy cried wrapping her arms gently but tightly around her now awakened son. James snuggled his head in his mother's neck, breathing in her familiar scent. _It felt so good but so empty…_

"You're finally awake son, oh thank god." Daddy Diamond breathed a shaky sigh of relief, fingers clutching his shoulder tightly. James turned his head so he could see his father, wearing a questioning look. "James, son," Kevin sighed as if choking back years of dread. "James, you've been unconscious in the hospital for five days. You've been here asleep for _five_ days since you hit your head."

With a tug at his lips, James thought back. With a pounding headache memories slowly came back to his brain.

_The playground with the bullies. Fighting the bullies. The gunshots. The crowd panicking. Getting separated. The crazy clown-man. Running. Falling. Darkness. Lo-_

James' eyes widened. _"I wuvs you Jamsey-beaw."_

"Logan!" He shot up from the bed, voice hoarse from pain and disuse. His eyes frantically searched every person in the room. In a distance he could hear his heart rate begin to beat faster. He didn't need to hear that noise to know his heart was pounding.

Mommy.

Daddy.

Kendall.

Katie.

Carlos.

Jose and Gabriella.

Papa and Mama Knight.

Papi and Mami Garcia.

…That was it.

By this time James could hear his heart monitor accelerating unnaturally. _Where was he?_! "Logan? _Logan?!"_ James croaked pitifully. His mother had grabbed his hands, rubbing her thumbs over his knuckles, while his father had tried to push him back down on the bed.

"James, son calm down. You have to calm down son! Please you're still hurt!" Kevin pleaded to the thrashing six-year-old. James had begun moaning brokenly.

"Honey, you need to calm down. P-Please. P-P-" Brooke choked back a sob reaching with one hand to stroke James' messy brunette hair. James' eyes wildly flicked to his mother, already shinning with new tears. This caused the tears to race down Brooke's own face as she tried to stay mostly together for her son.

"Mommy, where's Logan? Where is he?! Why isn't he here with everyone else? _Mommy?!_" James begged. His mother would know where Logan was, she always did. She would tell him. His heart continued to beat faster and faster as he waited for an answer But what came out of his mother's mouth, were words James _never_ wanted to hear.

"James, Logan is…oh James, he's gone." Brooke sobbed. James' whole world froze at those words. His breath was caught in his throat and his eyes were growing more moist and blurry by the second.

"They took Logan. A-And…and we d-don't know where h-he…he is James. They took Logan…"

* * *

_January 31, 2002_

James trudged into the classroom, heart heavy and tired. He had cried all his tears through winter break and the first weeks of school. The first week had been the toughest on not only James, but also Kendall and Carlos. The mall shooting had been all that anyone had talked about. Kids were asking each other every day if they knew what happened or if they had been there.

Some kids had been at the mall that day during the shooting, among the mist of panic. But no other kid had lost a family member that day. Three kids had a family or friend injured in the hospital with a bullet wound. But they were stable and alive. No one had lost their brother.

Like James. Or their best friend.

Like Kendall and Carlos.

James (even Kendall and Carlos) hadn't made it a week without bursting into tears or screaming when they had first returned to school. Resulting in the parents' decision to keep them at home. But home was worse for James. It was a constant reminder of the emptiness; of what the house was like without his _Logiebear_. Every day he had to walk past _Logan's _room, or pick up _Logan's _toys. It was getting harder and harder for the miserable brunette to stay home.

So James had announced to his parents that he would be returning to school on Monday the 31st. With that, Kendall and Carlos had agreed to go so they would all be together.

Ms. Tanya - the first grade teacher - looked over with a broken heart when James, Carlos and Kendall entered the room. Every single teacher and staff member had been told about any child who had a family injury due to the shooting. And they were _all_ also told about James' brother, Logan.

About how he had been missing for _forty-three_ days now.

It was awful, to see someone so young have to go through something so terrible.

"James, how are you feeling today? Welcome back." She knelt down next to the young boy. James shrugged miserably wiping a gloved hand over his eyes. "Kendall, Carlos, how are you two?" The other two attempted pathetically fake smiles, only breaking Ms. Tanya's heart further. "Would you like a hug? It's okay to hug."

She wasn't expecting James to throw himself onto her, shoulders shaking with new tears. As she wrapped her arms around the now sobbing boy, she stroked his hair.

"Why did they have to take Logie?"

And for the first time in her career, Ms. Tanya had no idea what to say.

* * *

_March 2, 2002_

Seven-years-old. That's how old Kendall Francis Knight was today. It was a Thursday, which meant he had school on his birthday. All the kids had wished him a Happy Birthday or sang to him. Carlos and James had been the first to wish him a happy birthday of course, besides his parents.

_Seventy-three_ days.

That was how long Logan was _still_ missing. Seventy-three horribly long and awful days. The pain never stopped. But Kendall knew he had to be strong. He had to be the leader for Carlos, who was sensitive and didn't handle many things well, and especially James who needed him now more than ever with Logan gone.

He had to step up and lead his friends, to help ease their pain. Even if it was just for a bit.

"You enjoying your birthday so far?" Carlos asked once they sat down for lunch. Kendall nodded plastering his fake smile. Over the past three months Kendall had masters the fake smile perfectly, convincing everyone he was just fine. His smiled fooled anyone and everyone that saw it.

It was his job as a leader to appear tough and okay. He couldn't afford to break, not now with the other's depending on him.

"Totally. And now I'm older than both of you 'cause I'm seven and you're still six. So you got's to do what I say." Kendall said smugly. James rolled his eyes with a gentle chuckle. This earned him a real grin from Kendall.

"Hey Kendall lookie!" James smiled holding out his hands. Carlos bounced excitedly in his seat next to James. Kendall felt his heart stop and tears creep in his eyes.

In James' hands was a chocolate cupcake, with a red Power Ranger on top.

_"Powew Rangews are so awesome!" Five-year-old Kendall sighed happily watching the cartoon with James, Carlos and Logan. The one-year-old smiled goofily at the blond. "Especially the wed-one. He's the leadew and so epic!"_

_"Wed?" Logan asked. Kendall nodded with another smile. "Wed! Kenny habe wed!" The baby cried. He thrust his little hand towards Kendall, shoving an action figure in his hand. But it wasn't any action figure. It was _Logan's_ red, valuable Power Ranger._

_"Y-You'we giving this to me Logie?" Kendall croaked. Logan giggled with a frantic nod and latched himself into Kendall's arm._

_"Fow my Kenny!"_

"Kendall, are you okay? Do you like it?" James asked concerned when he saw tears in Kendall's eyes. Kendall's face broke out into a face-splitting grin and he hugged his best friend sobbing softly.

"Yes! Yes. This is the best gift ever. Thank you."

* * *

_April 16, 2002_

James' parents were always busy now. With police calls, investigators coming to the house often, and_ fighting._ They were always busy. As of lately James couldn't stand being in his own house, because his parents seemed to be fighting more and more with one another. And it was hurting James.

Which was why he was at the park with Kendall, Katie, Jose, Gabriella and Carlos.

In his hands and the others, were posters. Posters with Logan's picture on them, telling people who he was, and to _find_ him.

"Okay guys let's cover the whole park and block." James instructed. Everyone nodded quickly grabbing either, tape or a stapler James had "borrowed". "The more places we hit, the more people will see these posters and the faster…Logan will come home." He swallowed thickly.

"Kendall and Katie stay together. Jose and I will be together and James and Carlos go together. Meet right here in exactly one hour. Let's go!" Gabriella said grabbing her twelve-year-old brother. James and Carlos headed away from everyone else to the south side of the park.

James and Carlos hug up signs everywhere they could. Trees. Slides. Poles. Tables. _Everywhere_.

James was putting up his last poster in a tree in front of a neighbor's yard. They were a quiet, elderly couple who were very nice to the boys. The wife just happened to be outside as they hung posters up.

"James, what are you doing sweetie?" She asked from her porch.

"Hanging up, uh, 'Missing' signs for…Logan. Is that okay ma'am?" James asked suddenly figuring he was in trouble. The woman frowned softly at the poor child.

"Of course sweetheart, you can hang as many signs of that little _Angel_ wherever you want."

"Thank you." James whispered.

Carlos patted his back, pulling the taller boy into a hug. "We'll find Logie. Someday we will."

_One-hundred and eighteen_ days missing.

* * *

_July 16, 2002_

"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday dear James. Happy Birthday to you." His friends and family all sang, gathering around the now, seven-year-old.

James grinned brightly as his cake was being brought to him. Seven candles topped off the layered red icing chocolate cake. His favorite.

"Alright James, time to make a wish." Jennifer Knight laughed. She held her camera up along with Brooke and James pondered.

Slowly a frown made its way onto James' flawless face. And his throat tightened, just as Katie was about to sit down.

"Please don't sit there. Not there Katie. That's Logie's seat." He whispered. "Only Logan is allowed to sit there. No one else." Any other day his parents might have scolded James for that. But today was his birthday, and to be honest the boy deserved as much comfort as he wanted. Even if it meant having an empty chair right next to him.

_"Why is der fir' on cake?"Almost two-year-old Logan asked on James' sixth birthday party. James chuckled and enveloped the spiky-haired baby in a hug._

_"It's so you can make a wish Logie! If you wish hard enough it'll come true someday!" James explained. Logan's eyes widened, shinning like the stars._

_"Weally?" He whispered in awe._

_"Oh yeah. But you can't tell anyone your wish at all. Otherwise it might not come true. Unless everyone else also has that wish. It's a secret; you know what that is right?"_

_Logan nodded firmly in his high chair. "It's shh! Shh!" He put a finger to his lips._

_Two hundred and nine_ days. Two hundred and nine days Logan had been gone.

For the first time in his life, James closed his eyes before making a wish. The family watched curiously now, when James began to unconsciously speak out loud.

"I only have one wish. Please, it's all I will ever want. My only wish is to have Logie safe; with me. I just want my baby brother back with mommy, daddy and me. And the Knights and Garcias. Please. _Please_, bring Logie back home."

* * *

_August 15, 2002_

_Two hundred and thirty-nine_ days without Logiebear.

Not a day went by where Carlos didn't think about Logan. With his dad being a police officer, he waited for him to get home to see if he had Logan again, _every single day_.

Carlos had personally kept a 'Logan's Missing' sign for himself. To always remember his best little buddy.

Carlos loved Logan with all of his young heart. With Logan gone, it felt as if a piece of him had left also.

But he could forget the pain – even for a little while – with _fun_.

Like today. On his birthday. _All_ of his cousins, aunts, uncles, grandparents and friends were at his birthday party.

They were all waiting at the moment for the birthday boy to come downstairs. Carlos grinned in his bedroom mirror.

"Today's the day Carlos! You're finally seven like Kendall and James. And your whole family is here!" He whispered in excitement. The Latino stopped for a second._ Something was missing._

"I got it!" He snapped his fingers, running to the drawer by his bed. In the drawer was his stuffed puppy, _Juanito_, a bible, his father's 1st police badge and the 'Missing Logan' poster. With a soft smile he folded up the picture and placed it gently in his pocket.

"Now it's like everyone is here." Carlos whispered softly with a smile.

_"Hey Logan. Do you like finger paint?" Four-year-old Carlos asked the eight-month-old new baby. Logan giggled in his chair with a clap. "I bet you do. Well I mean you would. I should show you how to paint!" Slowly Carlos grabbed the tiny little fingers of the baby and dipped on in yellow paint._

_The beautiful, goofy smile and adorable giggle was enough to tell Carlos he had done the right thing._

* * *

_September 14, 2002_

Honestly today, James did not even want to get out of bed. He didn't even want to move. Because today was just another reminder. A reminder of his _broken_ promise. Of his _failure _as a brother.

Today was Logan's birthday.

_Two hundred and sixty-nine_ days he had been missing.

Despite his tears and feelings, James did in fact get out of bed. He got dressed and ready before heading over to his closet. Carefully he pulled the wrapped box out of the closet. The wrapping paper crinkled under his fingers causing him to smile.

It was a _present_. For Logan. A present he bought himself.

He pulled the envelope out of his jacket with a small sigh. Carefully, he taped the envelope to the small package; his messy handwriting sticking out.

_To my little brother: Logie_

_I love you._

James ran down the stairs when he heard the doorbell ring. At the door stood Carlos, Kendall_ and_ Katie.

"I hope you don't mind if Katie joins. She wanted to help." Kendall said softly. James nodded happier ushering them in. _The more the better_. In each of the children's hands were their own wrapped gifts and cards.

"Oh wait one more thing!" James remembered. Quickly, he ran to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. On the bottom shelf was a large vanilla cupcake with a number 3 candle.

James lit the candle in a hurry, grabbed his present and headed up the stairs, where the other's waited.

_In Logan's room_.

"Um, I'll go first then." Kendall whispered, breaking the awkward silence. He set his wrapped gift on Logan's bed next to a picture of the missing three-year-old.

"Logie, wherever you are, Happy Third Birthday!" Kendall laughed. "I miss you Logie and I love you buddy. _When_ you come home, I will make sure to teach you how to play hockey. You must know how to play, so I will teach you birthday boy!" Kendall whispered softer than before. Gently he stepped back and Katie moved forward.

"Hi Logan. It's me, Katie. Happy Birthday! We all know how much you love birthdays!" She chuckled and set her gift down. "But like Kendall already said, we miss you Logan, so much. I love you. You weren't a lot like other babies. So come home and Happy Birthday." Tears glistened in her eyes as she leaned into her big brother. Kendall wrapped an arm around Katie.

Carlos was next. "Hey there Logiebear! Happy fantasticle Birthday! I _know_ you'll love my gift when you open it!" He cried happily. "So you have to hurry on home, so you can open it! I don't want to wait long my Logiebear! I miss you so much but I love you even more!"

When Carlos finished he stepped back from the pile of gifts to let James go. The agony-filled brother stepped towards the bed, setting his gift and the cupcake down.

James opened his mouth to speak, only to find his voice gone and his throat closing. Tears poured down his face and he fell to his knees, sobs wracking his small body.

Instantly all of his friends ran to his side, hugging him and holding him.

"Come home Logan. Please, I love you!"

* * *

_December 19, 2002_

One year.

_Three hundred and sixty-five_ days.

Fifty-two weeks.

All this time and no one had ever seen Logan. He had been gone for _so _long. How much longer would he be gone?

James didn't know how much longer he could handle without Logan. Neither could Carlos and Kendall.

It seemed that everyone but them had given up. His parents, the officers, _everyone_. How could they give up on Logan? He was special.

A month ago James' parents had sat James down and asked the boy what he thought about having a brother or sister. James cocked his head in confusion with a frown.

_"I have a brother. Logie, remember? He's _your_ son too!"_

_"Yes of course son, we know. And we love Logan so much, more than anything besides you." Kevin said gently._

_"But sweetie, we mean what if we had _another _baby? A brother or a sister now?"_

_"NO! NO! Logan is my brother and ONLY Logan! I don't _ever_ want another! Never ever! How could you even ask that? How could you do this to Logan?!" _

James had sobbed and cried the rest of that day, running to Mama Knight right away. She had found the boy in her kitchen sobbing and shaking. She yelled for Kendall and confronted the distressed brunette. When he answered she couldn't help but sigh.

Asking James that wasn't the best idea.

But James, Kendall and Carlos weren't about to give up on their little baby brother. They would never stop looking for Logan, no matter how long it took.

Because they _loved_ Logan more than anything.

"We'll never stop looking for you Logie. Not until you're safe in our arms again."

* * *

**Well not the cutest chapter yet, but I am very proud of this one. I liked each date and thought they were each meaningful. What did you guys think? Did you like it? Thoughts? Believe me cute fluff will come and brotherly moments. So, up next we'll have some fluff and some more angst.**

**Each date was sad to write. Anyhow, leave a review please! Your reviews always make me smile and I respond back to each one (that's not a guest but I enjoy reading those reviews too!) I can. So just drop in a review.**

**Also I don't know how often updates will be. School starts back up again tomorrow and I'll probably be busy. Buuut I do have two free periods so I'm going to dedicate one of those for writing and fanfictions. I'll say updates will be (hopefully) every Monday starting now.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	8. 8 Found

**Well here is the next chapter for this story. So there is a time skip for this chapter, but it'll probably be the last **_**major**_** time-skip for a while.**

**And I think most of you will be excited for the end of this chapter. I think you will be very excited….**

**So read the chapter! And review.**

**I LOVE you all! All those reviews I get make me smile and laugh, and I'm always so happy to respond to all of them. So THANK YOU for taking the time to review and leaving one! Also thank you to everyone who has either faved or alerted this story or both and followed! You guys are just as epic. Love epic.**

**Disclaimer: Please don't sue, I don't own mah boys. Oh, and school blows…**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Found**

_December 19, 2006 (5 years after Kidnap)_

James snapped himself out of a daze, when he realized he had been spacing out in history again. Which actually wasn't unusual for the sixth grader, except for the fact this time he had zoned out to _that_ memory. James tried to avoid _that_ memory at all costs. But it was hard for him not to think about it, considering what today was.

The fifth anniversary, to the day, James' life was destroyed. Or a piece of his life was.

Five years had past, since the mall shooting. _Five whole years_ since…Logan's kidnap. Five, long years since anyone had seen his baby brother. _Alive_. He had no idea whether his brother was still alive or…you know, gone.

Tears crept in the corners of his eyes at the thought and he choked back a sob. The sound did not go unnoticed though, by everyone else. Immediately all eyes were on James (that was not unusual for the popular, pretty boy except in this way) filled with curiosity.

Only Carlos and Kendall looked concerned, but even their faces appeared _devastated_. After all, they too have been there five years ago and lost their best little friend and brother. But James was affected the most, considering Logan was his brother, and he was crumbling. That much they knew.

"James sweetie," His history teacher tried. She knew exactly what today was and she felt her heart sink. _No child should have to go through this_. Every teacher James had, and staff member, had been informed of Logan and the date, December 19. That way they would be aware of his mood that week and on that day. It wasn't James' fault he couldn't work or concentrate; he was only a child after all. Only eleven-years-old.

"Sweetie, would you like to go to the nurse?" She asked gently, kneeling down next to James. James sniffled in embarrassment but nodded. While he gathered his bag she looked over at Carlos and Kendall, noticing their glassy eyes. "Kendall, Carlos, would you take James?"

The boys grabbed their bag gratefully, already understanding the underlined message. _Go home._

Once the three left the classroom, James attempted to control his sobs, with Carlos holding on to him tightly in a hug.

"My mom is watching Katie, 'cause she got sick, so she can come pick us up." Kendall croaked hoarsely, knowing his friends parents were all at work.

James managed a weary nod with Carlos as they entered the nurse's office. She was already waiting for them, with a sympathetic smile and soft eyes. Kendall went straight for the phone; James laid down on the rubber bed with his head in Carlos' lap, who stroked his hair gently.

"You three are such good friends." The nurse whispered shakily. Carlos gave her a pathetic attempt at a smile.

It was still the same as every year. Filled with so _much_ pain.

* * *

James had become pretty optimistic over the years. He _always_ looked for a brighter side. So even if another year goes by, and Logan was still missing, it meant his body was still never found. Which meant he could very well still be _alive_.

And that was the only thing keeping James sane.

Much had changed in the past five years. The Garcia's, the Knights and the Diamond's were all still very close. They had to stay close, for _each other_ after the loss of Logan.

But Mama and Papa Knight had gotten a divorce when Kendall was nine and Katie was eight. It had hit hard on everyone especially Katie and Kendall. They didn't want to lose their papa _too_. But it wasn't a bad or messy divorce at all.

John Knight lived relatively close by, only about a half hour away. He was still welcomed in with all of the families. Jennifer and John still talked with one another, civilly and happy, and kept in touch. The two just simply did not _love_ each other anymore. Their love had died and it was pointless in pretending. But they were still a family for the kids.

Kevin and Brooke Diamond fought so much more after Logan's kidnapping, about _everything_. The fought practically everyday, even around James. Just always yelling and arguing.

It really ticked off everyone else that they would do that _in front_ of James who _needed _them more than ever.

Brooke would have simply just left, left and never had come back, if it wasn't for James. She loved her friends – the Garcia's and Knight's – and all but it was too hard for her. Yes, seeing James always reminded her of Logan, but she couldn't lose both her babies.

The Garcia household was home to seven people and that was enough. Carlos had twin sisters that were four-years-old. After them, there were no new additions made.

No one wanted anymore kids after the twins, with Logan _still_ missing. They just couldn't believe he was really gone.

Little Logiebear.

Currently James, Carlos and Kendall were at the frozen pond, behind Kendall's house, playing hockey. It was a way of masking the pain, and attempting to forget the memory for the day. Mrs. Knight was inside making soup for ten-year-old Katie. Even she was miserable today. She had always liked Logan. He wasn't loud or annoying, like most two-year-olds.

Not a day goes by where anyone doesn't think about little Logan.

It's late when the boys decide to stop hockey, almost dark out. Mama Knight greets them at the back door with warm mugs of hot cocoa. James is thankful for the distractions. If he can make it through the night he will be alright without a break down.

"Oh, Kendall sweetie," Mama Knight turned to her son holding his duffle bag. "Don't forget, you're going to your father's tonight for the weekend. And Carlos you're also going remember? Your Papi is in L.A. for the weekend." The Latino and blond boy nodded.

Three years ago, Carlos' dad was upgrading from a simple police officer to a national officer. He solved cases in stations all across the nation now, not just in Minnesota. That's why he was in L.A. A sudden case came up and he had been requested.

James frowned in realization. He was most likely going to be all alone this weekend now, _without_ Kendall or Carlos. Alone. With his parents fighting again.

Suddenly James felt his stomach drop and his heart ache. He would never make it without a break down now.

"Uh, um I-I gotta go." James stood up quickly. He shoved his skates in his large hockey bag and grabbed his backpack. The other three in the kitchen turned to him in question.

"Go?" Kendall frowned. James licked his lips. He began to feel his eyes sting. _No! You can't cry, you can't worry them!_

"Uh, yeah! I forgot mom needs help with dinner and all. You know, she'll never be able to cook by herself with what today is. So I need to get home, and help." James said, thanking whoever for his incredible gift to lie. The other three bought it.

"Alright sweetie, call if you need anything." Mama Knight gave a soft smile. James waved, literally running to the door; he could feel his eyes growing wet.

"Yeah I'll have my phone at dads, so I better hear from you!" Kendall yelled to the shaggy headed brunette. James squeaked a laugh.

"'Kay!" He called and closed the door.

Then, James bolted from the house all the way down the block. He didn't stop running until he was two houses away from his own. Only there did he finally fell from his swollen, red eyes, down his red face. Sobs wracked his body shaking him to the bone. Violent and sharp breaths came out, instead of calm breathing. James buried his face in his hands, crying loudly as he walked to his house.

Even after five years it still hurt _so_ much.

_When won't it hurt?_

James threw his bag on the yard grass unable to stop sobbing. Not even up the steps yet – through his sobs – he could already hear _them_ fighting. Again.

James opened the front door to the mansion he and his parents lived in, hiccupping and embarrassed that he was still crying. Loud, _violent_ shouts could be heard from downstairs. Even when he was sobbing, _they_ still hadn't heard him.

"What the hell do you know Kevin? Huh?"

"What do you mean, '_What do I know?_'?! He was my goddamn son too!"

"Yeah _was_! He's fucking gone and nothing you say will change that! Nothing!"

"Oh so you're just giving up now huh? Quitting? Like everything else! Gonna quit your job too Brooke? How are we going to pay the goddamn bills then?! We're barely doing that now!

"Money! Ha, that's all it's about now! We live in a mansion, we're fine dammit!"

It was the same thing day after day. James would come home to screaming and fighting. Sometimes things were even thrown and broken. Sometimes his mom hit his dad, or his dad punched a wall. But his dad never hit his mother.

James ran all the way up the stairs and dashing into the last room, slamming the door shut as loud as he could. _It doesn't matter, they won't hear me anyway._ James sank to the ground of _his_ room, burying his face in his knees. He wasn't in his own room. No, he was in _Logan's_ old room.

Everything was exactly the same after five years. Well, _no one_ besides James ever went in there.

The painted jungle-themed walls still had the trees and leaves, jaguar and monkey on it. Along with a parrot and lizard and various animals. His "new" big boy bed was still messy, having never been made that day.

All his dressers were there with all his clothes, except for one outfit. The one he had worn five years ago.

Finally Logan's old panda-teddy bear, Benny, lay on the ground still smiling over at James._ Benny_. It was all he had left of Logan that made him feel like Logan wasn't fully gone.

James let out more hiccups, feeling a new wave of sobs roll through him, as he reached for Benny. He clutched onto the bear, rocking back and forth on his heels, crying all over again.

_Logie. Logie. Logie._

* * *

It was nearly two hours later and his parents screaming and arguing was only getting worse. On top of that, James had been unable to stop sobbing which meant one thing.

A panic attack was coming on.

Sure enough, James felt himself begin to hyperventilate and panic. His parents, added on to the date and his pain, it was all _too_ much to handle alone.

_I-I need someone…I need someone!_

Digging in his jean pocket, James found his cell phone. He pressed '1' and then 'call'. Instantly he could hear the phone ringing. God, his mom or dad weren't '1' on his speed dial list. Heck, they weren't even '3' or '4' either. In fact, they were '8' and '9' on his speed dial list. They _last two_ numbers.

Pathetic.

"James?" Mama Knight's voice filled the speakers above all the noise. But James continued to pant heavily, unable to breathe, let alone speak.

"James? James, sweetie, are you okay?" Mama Knight asked frantically. She had already been worried when she saw _James_ on the caller ID, but now all she heard was broken sobs, pants and shouting.

"James, sweetheart you need to talk to me. What's going on?"

"M-Mom…Dad…C-Come?" He begged pathetically between sobs and horrible pants. His chest was constricting tightly and he was already beginning to feel light headed.

"Of course sweetheart!" Mama Knight had known about James' panic attacks since he was eight. She had always been there to help calm him down; his parents had also been there always helping. They weren't _that_ clueless.

But panic attacks were bad for James. Ever since this day, five years ago, when James was hit twice and his head was slammed into the concert, his brain had swelled causing blunt force trauma. This resulted in him being unconscious for five whole days.

Because of that, James now had Epilepsy. Meaning he was a victim to seizures. The first year or two were the worst. James had quite a few seizures alone, which freaked everyone out, but over the years they managed to control his seizures, through medicine and therapy. But this was new to everyone.

James though, had it rough for the grief and stress of losing Logan for five years.

Panic was usually the first trigger sign before James had a seizure.

Mama Knight drove down the block, despite how close they lived to one another. She needed to get to James fast; he could _not_ have a seizure all alone. _Did his parents even know what was happening?_

Mama Knight parked the car, frantically searching her purse for the syringe and extra house key. Once collected, she ran straight to the front door not even bothering to close her car door. As she unlocked the house door she could hear the screaming and fighting downstairs._ They don't even have any idea!_

Slamming the door open, she ran up the main staircase faster than James had. "James?! James?!" She called searching each room. _Wait. Of course, he's there!_ Mama Knight ran to the last door at the end of the hallway with a closed door. Quickly she opened the door – careful of James – and dropped on her knees.

James' hyperventilating had gotten worse and his body was now beginning to tremble and twitch.

"James. Baby, James. I'm right here, baby. I'm right here." She whispered gently. She held his face in her hands and looked in his eyes. James' pupils had dilated so much; they looked black now not hazel.

"Baby, I need you to calm down okay? Look at me. No, look at _me_." She pulled his chin back to her, when he started to look away. "I need you to control your breathing. Okay? Deep breaths baby. Watch me. Deep breaths."

Mama Knight sucked in a breath and released it for three seconds. "See baby? In – come on take a deep breath in. See? That's it baby, a deep breath in."

After many half, sharp breaths, James managed to take in a deep breath.

"Okay baby now exhale – _through your nose okay? – _for at least three seconds. Focus on that." Mama Knight instructed. James complied, releasing his breath. "Okay breathe out until you get "hungry for air" and – okay, okay it's fine." James needed another breath too quickly and sucked in sharply.

"Okay baby, again, deep breath in. _Long_ breath released." She continued to demonstrate. It took James about five minutes but he managed multiple breaths in and long breaths out that lasted at least three seconds.

"That's it baby, very good." Okay, his breathing and tears were under control, but his body was still shaking fairly bad.

"Alright baby, keep breathing just like that. Okay, I need you to lie down. Don't worry baby, it's okay." James focused on his breathing, while Jennifer laid him down on his back. She rested his head softly on her lap. Gently, she pulled out the syringe, pulled up his right pant leg and injected his dosage of Midazolam into his upper thigh. James winced, but continued to breathe.

After a _long_ and agonizing minute his shaking was gone. The seizure had been prevented and he was under control now. Mama Knight continued to run her fingers through his soft hair, whispering and hushing him gently. After a bit James' eyelids drooped.

"Hey baby, it's okay. Can you stay awake for me?" Mama Knight asked in a quiet voice. James nodded tiredly, forcing his eyes open. "Thank you baby."

Finally she looked up. To see both of James' parents standing in the doorway _terrified_.

"James. J-Jen – " Brooke started. Jennifer simply raised her hand up with a glare. She continued to stoke James' hair and with her free hand she pulled out her cell phone. While it rang, Jennifer glared at the Diamond parents, daring them to move.

"Hello John," She began. "Yes, I know he's there and Carlos. Mhmm. John, _it_ happened again…He's fine right now, I got here in time…No…Yes they were, as usual…uh-huh…I need you to come here please…I can't life him and I don't want to make him walk…uh-huh…oh? Great. Thank you John…ten minutes, really? Okay even better…we'll see you then…Bye." With that she hung up her phone.

"Baby, are you okay?" After a few seconds James nodded. Jennifer grabbed two pillows from the bed nearby and moved her legs. Once her legs moved, pillows were replaced under James' head. She brushed his bangs off his sweaty forehead.

"Okay baby, I just need to talk to your parents for a bit. I won't be far, I promise. I'll just be behind the door. Alright baby? Everything's okay." Jennifer whispered. James could barely look into her eyes, and Jennifer's heart squeezed, but slowly he gave a weak nod.

"Okay baby." She kissed his cheek softly, before standing up. With Benny right next to him, Jennifer led the Diamond parents out the room. Once the door closed Jennifer fumed.

"What the _hell_ is wrong with you two?" She spat out. Brooke flinched at her words. "Your own son was having a panic attack and nearly had a fucking seizure and _now_ you come?! Where were you ten minutes ago? Hell, where were you two hours ago? When he came home! Crying. He probably came home sobbing and did you two notice? No! Because you were both fighting. Again!" Hissed Jennifer, voice no higher than a whisper. But even at a whisper she sounded absolutely scary.

"Jennifer w-we, it's just today – " Kevin tried but Jennifer cut him off again. She was not about to let anymore excuses slide.

"I know what today is! Don't you think he's hurting also?! For god's sake he's only eleven!" Jennifer cried, tears springing to her eyes. "He's so young and he loved Logan so much!" Think about him! You are the adults and his parents. He needs you and you're never there!" She choked even quieter.

"Jen, we are."

"No Brooke, you're not." Sighed Jennifer. "Neither of you are. You two fight practically every day with each other and it's so sad. James is so alone when you fight. Do you know why he is always at out house or the Garcia's? Because he's _alone_. He feels utterly alone." Mama Knight croaked. Brooke and Kevin could only stare with guilt.

"And I can't let him suffer anymore." Jennifer said even quieter. The Diamond parents gasped , eyes wide.

"Jennifer no –"

"No. James is going to stay with us. At least, until you two stop fighting _and_ he calms down." Jennifer said firmly. There was no changing her mind. "He needs to stay with us, especially after this. You didn't notice how upset he was, or that he was having a panic attack. He was _alone_! What would have happened if I hadn't made it here in time? Would you have notice? How long would it have taken? You need to think of James now." Mama Knight sighed and wiped her teary eyes.

"And the best place for him right now is with Kendall, Katie and I. Even John. He's sick of all the fighting you do. Please, it's time to put James first."

Jennifer didn't even look back at the Diamond's expressions after that. She didn't want to do this to them, but there was no arguing that this was the best choice.

And she wasn't about to back down now.

* * *

James laid his head tiredly against Papa Knight's chest causing no struggle. Despite how tired he was, he couldn't help but feel overcome with joy, at the Knight's and the Garcia's concern and compassion.

John looked down at the pale and exhausted James in his arms, rubbing the boys arm gently. Anger boiled in his blood when he passed the boys parents.

Kendall was literally glued to his father's side, duffle bag over his should (filled with some of James' clothes), and Carlos was on Papa Knight's other side (his duffle bag had a couple other things of James). Both were beyond worried for their best friend trying to focus only on his health.

Mama Knight was already at her car and lying blankets down across the backseat. Katie had run down to James' house, about ten minutes ago after a frantic phone call from Kendall. She sat in the front seat of the warming car.

James' head lolled tiredly as Papa Knight laid him along the back. He was tall for an eleven –year-old, and a bit cramped, but he didn't complain. Once he was securely wrapped in two layers of blankets, John closed the door and walked Jennifer to the car door.

Katie turned around to face the boy she also considered a brother. "Hey Jamez," She laughed using an old nickname. "You look…horrible man, just gross."

James cracked a smile. _Perfect!_

It wasn't long before the car was starting and they were driving. James half-listened to Katie's ramble about being sick and stuff, as he watched his house disappear from sight.

James remained at the Knight house for over a week. He was able to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas day with his parents each day, and the _entire_ family for Christmas dinner. His parents visited often.

It was now December 26, 2006 and after three days of mandatory bed rest (not only from the mothers but also Kendall) James was cleared to hang out with his friends.

Which was what he was up to today. The "Trouble-some Trio", along with Katie, Jose and Gabriella were all playing an intense game of hockey on the frozen pond. While the adults – minus Juan who had to go back to L.A that morning – and the Garcia twins sat around to talk.

Kevin and Brooke _still_ fought much to everyone's anger. Though they didn't fight in front of or _around_ James. _It's a start_.

The conversation was broken when the house phone rang. Jennifer picked it up outside.

"Hello?"

The voice sounded out of breath and panicked. "Jennifer?"

"Juan? Hello, what's going on?" She frowned, catching everyone's attention. _Papi Garcia?_

"I know James is still with you after everything and everyone else. So I need you to get Brooke and Kevin to listen to this conversation too. Please!" Jennifer complied not even bothering to ask why.

Juan sounded desperate.

Once Brooke and Kevin were with Jennifer in an area where the other's could see them but not hear their conversation, Juan was put on speaker phone.

Kevin frowned. "Juan, what's going on?"

"Brooke, Kevin, Jen…we…we found…guys _we found Logan_."

* * *

**Dun. Dun. Duuuuuuun. And aha I shall be ending it there! LOGIE LOGIE! I am like so totally happy. This chapter was like 18 pages on paper! So much but I got it all typed in three days. Only because I was sooooo excited to get this up for you all to read.**

**So thoughts? Ideas? Likes? Dislikes? Leave me a review about anything about the story really; I always love to respond back to them. All of you are just so sweet! **

**Also all of the information of Epilepsy I had to research on my own and find out, for I do not know anything about Epilepsy or know anyone with it personally. So I apologize if any of my information is incorrect. Also just know Epilepsy is a major role for James in this story…**

**Anyhow I got this up by Sunday, which is probably when any updates will come from now on. School is soooooo long. But when I have free time, I'm always writing the next chapters for this story lol, my friends think I'm a nerd for always writing. Am I?**

**Anyhow leave a review.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	9. 9 He's Back

**Hey, hey I am back. And I got this done by Sunday! Whoop! So far I am making my deadlines, lol that never happens.**

**So THANK YOU to all my lovely reviewers! You guys have pushed me past 50 reviews! I'm so happy because to me that is a lot so far! Thank you all you wonderful, amazing reviewers that keep reviewing each chapter! Every one of them makes me smile so big! And to all of you favorites/alerts/followers, you guys are just as important! I love you all! So Thanks!**

**I have too many (BTR fandom) stories in my head right now. I need to stop thinking for a while. Bleh….**

**Disclaimer: Ask yourselves this? Do I own BTR? Do I?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 9: He's Back**

_December 26, 2006_

_ "Juan? Hello, what's going on?"_

_ "I need you to get Brooke and Kevin! Please!"_

_ "Juan, what's going on?"_

_ "Brooke, Kevin, Jen, we…we…we found…guys _we found Logan."

* * *

If it was possible for the world to physically stop moving, Kevin would have said it did at that moment. At 10:36 a.m on December 26, 2006, the world stopped moving.

Or at least _their _world stopped moving.

Silence rang across the three adults over the phone; throats raw and clogged with a lump. All three of their hearts – especially the Diamonds – were beating like wild, erratic drums. No eye was dry anymore.

"W-What?" Brooke finally managed to choke out. She couldn't believe Juan's words, she just couldn't. _Her baby…_

"I'm serious…we…we actually found Logan. After so long." Juan breathed into the phone. "Your little Logie Diamond. Our Logiebear."

"Oh my god. Oh my god!" Brooke broke down into full sobs. Jennifer gave Kevin the phone so she could cry and comfort her friend. Hundreds of thoughts raced through Kevin's mind in that instant.

_Logan. Logan. My little Logan! My son. Was he hurt? Okay? What had happened? Was he even alive – _

The last question rammed Kevin into a one way trip to heartache. _No, no please don' let him. _ Juan could have just found Logan's body after five years. He had been missing for _five_ years. It was a very possibility that Logan very well may not even be alive. And all that was left was Logan's body.

"Juan is – is Logan…is he…god is he…" Kevin couldn't even bring himself to say the words and ask. He couldn't ask if his little baby boy was, well, _gone_.

"Kevin, listen to me. Please listen carefully. Logan is _alive_. He's alive here with me!" Juan said firmly into the phone.

Finally the flood gates broke on the tough man. Tears streamed down his face, but an unmistakable smile was plastered on his lips.

"Brooke…" He breathed and turned his head to his tearful wife. "Alive. Logan is…he's alive…" Upon this news, Brooke cried loud ears of joy, launching herself into her husband's arms.

Still in an unbelievable trance, a wobbly smile broke out on Jennifer. _This was real. It was really happening! Logan was…alive! After five tortuous years he was finally found alive! They could be whole again._

Jennifer took the phone, ignoring all the questioning glances thrown at them, knowing the Diamonds would be unable to talk at the moment.

"Hi Juan, it's Jen."

"Jen! Isn't it great?!" Juan cried into the phone. "Can you actually believe this is happening! _Ay!_ I'm here and I cannot believe the _Dios mío_." Suddenly there was a hesitant pause in Juan's voice. "But Jen…" _Uh-oh._ "I think you should all come out to Los Angeles. Logan's in a hospital – he's alive and he will live – but Jen, it's bad. Everything he's been through…he…jus could you all come out here? As soon as possible?"

Jennifer immediately felt her stomach drop and her throat become too dry.

"Jen? You there?"

"Oh, huh? Right, sorry. Um, yeah we'll look into tickets right away out to Los Angeles. Just give us some time." Jennifer said quietly. Brooke and Kevin listened to what she was saying with red eyes and smiles. _Oh Logan._

"Thank you. Call when you are about to leave."

"Okay. Bye Juan." Once Jennifer hung up, Brooke was the first to speak.

"L.A, we all have to go to L.A?" She asked shakily. "Okay! Okay Kevin and I…tickets…now…soon…oh my_ baby!_" She sobbed and ran into the Knight house; Kevin was right behind the distressed woman.

Now seven pairs of eyes were focused on the red and teary eyed Jennifer Knight. Her legs felt like jell-o, her eyes were filled to the brim with tears and she stumbled. Luckily John was close enough to catch her before she fell.

"John…Logan…_Logan_…" She choked. At the name everyone automatically feared for the worst. With the way she was acting, it was a predictable reaction from everyone. Especially James.

_Logan! My little Logie?! Why would they be talking about Logie? Why? Unless – no, no, no! He can't be! No!_

"NO!" James shouted, startling everyone. He shook his head, panting heavily already, eyes wide. "No, no, no, no, no, no! He can't be!" He cried covering his ears, still shaking his head.

He was causing himself to panic and stress._ Oh, no._

Jennifer quickly pushed away from John, rushing to James with Kendall and Carlos.

"James baby, no, let me explain! Let me speak!" She tried but James wouldn't listen. He was far too freaked by now.

"Hey James, it's okay!" Carlos attempted next. Tears pricked in the corners of his own eyes. He _hated_ seeing James filled with so much hurt and so broken. James didn't deserve _half _the pain he was going through. It scared Carlos whenever James went into a panic attack. Carlos had seen James seize numerous times, but _every_ time it scared him more and more. Watching James seize every time made his mind go back to that date: December 19, five years ago. And every time he was terrified he was going to lose James like they lost Logan. _What if there wasn't a next time?_ "Mama Knight is going to explain! Everything's okay buddy!"

James managed to look Carlos in the eyes, breathing beginning to slow down to a normal pace. Kendall cut in next

"There you go dude. Just calm down. It's going to be alright, you'll see." Kendall whispered gently while Carlos rubbed circles in James' tense back.

"You promise?" James whispered so quietly and sounded so frightened, almost like he was four-years-old again. Just a scared little boy.

Kendall bit his lip and turned to his mother. There was _no_ way he could lie to James, even if it did make James feel better. And only Mama Knight knew if everything was okay, at least for right now.

Carefully she nodded.

"I promise right now." Whispered Kendall gripping onto James' shoulder. The taller boy offered a shaky smile.

"Mom?" Kendall faced his mom. As did everyone else, especially James who's eyes were filled with unshed tears. The sight nearly broke her heart.

"Come inside. I want James sitting down when I explain. And well, you all might want to see too." Jennifer said softly after a moment of silence.

* * *

"Okay now James," Mama Knight was seated on the coffee table directly in front of James. Kendall and Carlos were crowded close on either side of their friend, hugging his arms. Brooke and Kevin had gone to a computer upstairs; John and Sylvia were on the loveseat behind Jennifer. While the rest of the kids had wandered in the kitchen to eat and stay out of the way.

"I need you to listen to me without interrupting okay?" The hazel eyed child nodded. "And while I explain, do _not _freak out no matter what, okay? Control you body and your breathing no matter what, alright? You don't want another seizure, do you?" Two more nods and a shake of the head, lead Jennifer into telling her story,

"Alright, well that was Papi Garcia on the phone from Los Angeles," She started in a soft voice. Instantly Carlos perked up on hearing his father's name. He was always so proud of his dad and the hard work his dad accomplished. "You remember how he was working on a very big case in L.A?" Another round of nods. "Well it turns out the case he was following was a Case of Child Kidnap. From five years ago." Jennifer took a deep, deep breath. "The case was Logan's Kidnapping. Papi Garcia was following Logan's kidnap." John and Sylvia gasped at the news, while the three boys' eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Well Papi Garcia was following up on that case today in L.A, and well something happened in the case." Jennifer took another shaky breath, rubbing her thumb against James' knuckles. James swallowed thickly. If Mama Knight was nervous this had to be big news, the woman _never_ got scared or nervous. "Sweetheart it's all over." James literally felt his heart stop beating at those words. _No, she doesn't mean…_

"James, they found him." Now James snapped his head up so ridiculously fast, he heard something crack. Painfully crack, but he ignored it. His heart was fluttering like crazy in his ribcage; adrenaline pumping throughout his body. Carlos and Kendall could feel their jaws dropping at the news._ Had they heard right?_

"Wha – " James felt like the wind had been knocked out of him, like he had been slammed up against the class in a hockey match. All of his senses were on fire now, especially his hearing.

"They found Logan sweetie. He's alive. Little Logan is alive James." James always thought his heart couldn't beat any faster, or that it couldn't take anymore. Guess he had been wrong, because now his heart was soaring rapidly with those words. _Alive?_

"L-Logiebear's a-alive?" Carlos was the first to speak. Honestly James was grateful for this. He just couldn't find a way to get his mouth to work, and to speak.

"Really?" Asked Kendall, just as hopeful as the others. Every one of them wanted to believe these words were finally true. That this was really _was_ all over. Mama Knight nodded with a smile as big as it could be, tears of happiness running down her face.

"Yes sweetheart. Little Logie is alive!" She cried in a small voice. Kendall, James and Carlos latched on in an even tighter three-way-hug, while Sylvia and John jumped to their feet hollering happily.

"Can we go to him?" James was quiet, but his forceful quiet voice cut through everything, causing silence.

"Yes baby, we're going to see him out in L.A soon. I promise you we will see him." Finally James let it all out. All the emotions he had held in for the past _five _years; all the tears and pain; all the thoughts. Everything.

And James Diamond broke down crying.

But for the first time in five years James cried tears of _happiness._

_ My Logie…_

* * *

That night James laid in a bed, tucked under some covers, just staring at the ceiling of Kendall's bedroom. His brain was filled with far too many emotions and thoughts to even let him fall asleep. Right now though, he also really couldn't deal with sleep. He didn't want to wake up in the morning to find this had all just been a dream. That Logan really wasn't alive and he would be disappointed _again_.

Carlos and he had spent the night at Kendall's house and were currently all curled up in Kendall's bed. Sure some would think they were a little old for this, but all three boys wanted to be near each other. They wanted to be this close to one another – tight and pressed together. It was an innocent act.

James knew for a fact Kendall and Carlos were also both wide awake. He could always tell when they were asleep or faking it. He knew the other two were also thinking about Logan, but no one had to guts to speak up. That is except for James.

"Do you think he remembers all of us?" James whispered out of the blue. Of course being awake, Kendall and Carlos turned to face James. James was still staring at the ceiling blankly, unable to look at the others.

"What do you mean James?" Asked Kendall.

"Logan. Do you think he remembers us? You guys, me, mom and dad, everyone else?" James said even quieter than before. Kendall sat up on one elbow, a look of confusion written across his eyes. Even Carlos sat up.

"Of course he would. Logan remembers us." Kendall said as if the answer were evident. James however, frowned.

"But I mean, he's been gone for five years. Five years is a long time to go without your family." James began to ramble, unraveling the hidden feelings that _no one_ knew about. He had hid them so well, and now he was just calling them out. "And Logan was so young and little. Only two! He can't remember stuff like you and me. I mean he sometimes forgot that his socks had to match, and would walk out of the house with a yellow sock and a blue sock. What if he forgot about us? Oh god. What if they did something to him and he forgot all about every single one of us? They could have done something to him! Something awful." By now James' face was no longer tan, but even paler than Kendall's. Who's face had also gone pale.

None of the boys had even registered that that could be a possibility. Logan had been _kidnapped_. What if something_ had_ happened?

Carlos swallowed. "James, look maybe something did happen. It has been a long time. You're right, five years is a long time for someone as young as Logan. But – But Logan will remember us. He'll defiantly remember you. You know why?"

James remained silent but he was finally looking at Carlos. For once Carlos' face was dead serious.

"Because Logan loved us. He loved us so much. And we loved Logan just as much, if not more!" James couldn't help but grin a tiny bit at this. "Jamie, Logan loved you so much. I know that if someone loved another person like you and Logan, well they could _never_ forget that person. You haven't forgotten Logan and neither have we. So Logan won't forget you. Because he loved you – no he _loves _you Jamie."

By now James' throat felt raw with tears as he latched onto Carlos tightly. The smaller boy always knew what to say.

"He loved you guys too." James croaked into Carlos' shirt. Kendall wrapped his arms around the two. "You were like brothers to him too. And to me. You've always been my brothers."

Kendall smiled. "Your our brother too Jamie. You and Logan. Forever."

* * *

James was sure everyone in the LAX airport and on flight 502 thought their large family bunch were _crazy_. Just crazy, with all their emotions and actions.

Running around frantically trying to get to Juan and Logan, they raced through the airport. It was still absolutely unbelievable to think in a matter of moments, they would see Logan. _His little Logie_ after five whole years.

"Are we there yet?" James asked for the umpteenth time. Normally everyone would have flipped out by now, with all the questions. But secretly everyone, even the adults were asking themselves that question, and much more.

"We're taking a taxi sweetheart, to the hospital." Brooke whispered in a soft voice, stroking his hair. She was a nervous wreck at the moment. Her baby, who she gave birth to seven years ago and lost five years ago, was alive. She would actually see her sweet baby boy after _five years_.

"We'll be there in about fifteen or so minutes." Kevin offered to his son. James nodded shakily, climbing in the taxi with his family.

All three families had decided to come out to L.A for support; when the time was right, they would see Logan. The Garcia's (minus Juan) and the Knights were taking taxis to a hotel to check everyone in and get settled. While all three Diamonds were headed to the hospital to see Logan. They would see him first and decide whether anyone else would be allowed to visit. All the way until the hospital door, the family remained in complete silence. Until Kevin spoke up.

"Alright…well whatever happens, we'll – we'll always l-love Logan. And we're going – we're going to get through this. Just like we did for the past five years. We're going to be strong and do this _together_." He said with a deep breath. Brooke and James nodded in unison taking each other's hands.

"And James," Brooke turned to her son. "Sweetheart, I need you to stay calm, no matter what happens. Okay? You just need to stay calm okay? And listen to everything we say." James nodded three times when Brooke sighed in relief. "If you have to leave, leave okay? We want to keep you and your health safe. Just listen to what we say. We don't want to have you in the hospital with Logan right?" A shake of his head gave Brooke all the reassurance Brooke needed.

"Yes mom." James whispered and squeezed her hand reassuringly.

With that, the family of three headed into a hospital, to greet the fourth member of their family.

Again.

_Please be okay Logan._

* * *

**And end! I know not my best chapter, but I stopped it there and saved the reactions to greeting Logan for another chapter. Otherwise this one would have been far, far too long. I'm sorry this is a bit shorter than any other. None of the chapters I have written are this short, so I really don't know what happened here. Haha.**

**My favorite part was with Kendall, Carlos and James at night in Kendall's room. :)**

**Anyhow, thoughts? Comments? Ideas? Anything on your minds today? What did you think of this little chapter? And you guys, what do you think Logan will be like? I'm curious as to your thoughts!**

**Thank god for Labor Day weekend! I'll get started on the next chapter tomorrow so I hope you liked it and leave a review!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	10. 10 At Last

**Hey you guys, this is up a day early huh? :) Well I made sure to get it done early for all of you! And also I got it early for a heads up. Look I'm writing when I can, but as of now I'm not doing so well in my Amer. History class (granted we only have two grades in, thank god), it's not that it's bad it's just a pretty hard and very task filling class so I really need to focus this year. So my heads up is I apologize if updates are irregular or late. Sorry guys but school is my main focus. But I will keep writing because I need to be able to multitask and focus.**

**Anyhow wow this is my longest chapter yet! And I am psyched. I really hope you guys liked this chapter 'cause I spent forever on it. It's my favorite at the moment. So I hope you like.**

**And of course I just LOVE you all. Thank you so much for each review/favorite/alert. Every time I get one I smile. I love to read and respond to each review. So, is it rude to ask if we could please see if we can get me to 70 reviews? Lol, no problem.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: At Last**

_December 28, 2012_

"Brooke? Kevin?" Juan Garcia appeared before the family of three, in the middle of the busy waiting room. Juan looked…different. They had just seen him, not even three days ago, but at this moment now he looked so different somehow.

His face was a look of pure exhaustion. Dark circles were beginning to form underneath both of his eyes. His usually dark, tan skin had a hint of paleness to it. Lines of worry and anxiety were evident on his face that was usually filled with happiness, much like his son Carlos.

Overall Juan looked like a mess and it only brought out the fears in the Diamond family even more. James was the first in the group to make a move, immediately throwing himself into Papi Garcia's arms. He buried himself into the officer's chest, already beginning to feel his body tremble.

Juan let out a sigh but he couldn't help the smile on his face at the eleven-year-old. He gently patted the boy's back, loving how courageous James was being right now. And how kind the boy was.

"Hey there bud. How's it going?" Papi Garcia murmured when James pulled back. The two shared a look for a moment, before James gave a pathetic attempt at a smile.

"Okay, just kind of nervous." He admitted softly. His fingers dug into the pockets of his jeans, to pull out his "lucky comb". Some habits just never died in James. But he did pick out a new habit over the years, with stress and anxiety towards Logan. He found that running his fingers along the teeth of the comb, over and over, calmed his nerves down. Just a bit. But it still helped.

"Well I am sure we all are." Juan chuckled weakly and waved the family to follow him. James clutched his mother's hand and Papi Garcia's the whole walk there.

"I'm sure you all have questions and probably want to know the whole story b –"

"Is he okay?" Brooke interrupted. She didn't mean to seem or sound rude or obnoxious to Juan. In fact, she felt that she could never repay Juan, for finding her baby. She would be forever grateful for all that Juan had done to her. In reality, she was terrified to find out the truth, but she had to know – _had to_ know if her baby was okay.

Juan bit his lip and frowned. Which again, was unusual for the man. "In a sense, yes he is okay. But I am not going to lie to you guys. This is not the same Logan as he was five years ago. Mostly." He sighed and James' heart leapt into his throat. It seemed like all his fears were beginning to come true.

Again.

_Then…what is he like?_

"I want to sit down with you guys and explain the whole story of this case. I also want to explain what to _expect_ and what needs to _change_." Juan said eyes trained forward as they walked down the hallway. James remained silent, just trying – _trying_ not to cry. At least, not in front of everyone. "But first I'm sure you just want to see Logan."

Kevin and Brooke nodded eagerly with thanks, while James bounced on his toes. That's all any of them wanted to do at this point. Finally the group of four stopped in front of a grey, closed door. Room 124.

"Now I must warn you guys. To prepare you for this." Juan turned to the distraught family. He looked Kevin and Brooke straight in the eyes, while James looked away. "Logan is in the hospital, obviously, for medical reasons that are physical. So be prepared for that sight, alright? He was…_injured_ when he was brought in here. And he's also here for, well mental reasons. So here are a few rules – I know he is your son, but just listen – to follow.

First, not all three of you can go in all at _once_. It would be too much for Logan to handle with too many people. So I suggest, Brooke and Kevin you two go in first…then one of you leave and bring James in. No more than two people." Juan instructed and received three nods. "Next, keep a distance at first, especially if…chaos occurs. Do _not_ try to smother him right now. Okay?" James and Kevin nodded right away. Brooke swallowed in hesitance, before nodding slowly.

"Alright. Brooke, Kevin, ready to go see Logan?"

* * *

No matter how many times Brooke and Kevin tried to tell themselves, they were _not _ready for this sight. No matter how many times they tried to tell themselves it would not be pretty, or that this would be hard. They still were not ready.

The sight of their little baby boy, asleep in a hospital bed. After _five_ years.

Logan had multiple wires and machines hooked up to his body; along with an IV on his arm and a breathing tube around his face and through his nose. He had white (with some red) bandages around his forehead and cheeks. His arms were both wrapped tightly and the parents could only imagine what he looked like under the sheets and gowns.

Logan defiantly looked different.

He would be seven-years-old by now, no longer a little toddler. He was taller, most certainly, but Logan did look very small for the age he was now. He didn't look like a seven-year-old. His skin was so much paler than it had ever been – and Logan had fairly pale skin as a baby – almost a creamy white now. All of his cute baby fat was gone. Brooke and Kevin could see each individual bone sticking out against his skin. They could count every bone visibly, from his neck, to his cheek bones, and arms, and if they had to bet on his they could probably count all his ribs.

His hair wasn't short and spiky or fluffy anymore. It was much longer now, almost past his neck at this point, and hung limply across his forehead.

Bruises and cuts littered his face and neck. Overall Logan mostly didn't look a thing like he used to, and it made them sick.

But this was most certainly their baby.

His hair was still the same color it had been five years ago. His nose and mouth were still the exact same shape. And asleep, he had that same calm but curious expression on, that he had as a baby.

"Oh my…_baby_." Brooke choked back on a sob, covering her mouth with one hand. Kevin could feel his throat tighten and tears gathering in his eyes. Shakily he wrapped an arm around his wife in a hug. Only he didn't know whether he was comforting her or himself.

"H-How…How b-bad?" Croaked Brooke heart aching like it had five years ago.

"Not good." Juan grimaced quietly. "He's going to make an um, _physical _full recovery." Brooke swallowed tightly and Kevin sucked in his breath. "Right now he has a mild concussion and has had some past skull damage. He has three broken ribs along with a small fracture to the right side of his pelvis and lower vertebrates. His left leg is broke and his right wrist is sprained.

"Other than that," Juan sighed deeply. This wasn't a conversation he ever wanted to have. "He mainly has bruising and burn scars across his body." When he was quiet, he couldn't even bring himself to look at Brooke or Kevin. Brooke couldn't even control her shaking now, as she choked back a sob. Kevin had his eyes glued to Logan's still form; eyes swimming with fresh tears.

"Oh God." He choked.

"When the time is right and ready, I'll go into further detail about everything. But for now, just enjoy that he is here. Don't worry about anything else but the fact he is here and alive." Whispered Juan. He firmly gripped Kevin's shoulder in a comforting manner.

"But we…we preformed a rape kit and," Juan sighed when Brooke and Kevin tensed. He _really_ didn't want to have this conversation with close friends. "It can back negative. So he hadn't been raped recently. But, we won't know for sure until he can tell us himself. It has been five years." With a timid nod, the room went silent. The only sound that broke the silence was the constant beeping of Logan's heart monitor.

"It'll all be okay in some time. I promise." Juan said softly. Brooke and Kevin could only manage a weak nod, unable to say or do anything. Until Logan's eyelids began to flutter.

When, at that moment, Logan finally opened his eyes.

* * *

James knew he should try and stop himself from shaking. He knew he really should, considering the health issues and consequences. But he just couldn't

No the shaking wasn't from a seizure building up. James was shaking with many different emotions coursing through his young body. Fear. Anticipation. Eager. Curiosity.

Too many emotions at once.

He had been in the waiting hallway, outside of Loagn's room for almost an hour now. He was just dying to simply _see_ Logan. That's all he wanted at the moment; nothing else. Just to know and see that Logan really was alive and well.

That's when the screaming and yelling started.

First he heard an unfamiliar, high pitch scream, and then followed by a few more. What came next were his mom's scream and then his dad's yell and Papi Garcia yelling.

James couldn't hear exactly what they were saying; their voices were muffled through the door. But panic broke through him and he jumped, wide-eyed towards the grey door. He was in the middle of debating whether he should wait or disobey orders and barge in.

While he argued with himself the door swung open, allowing the screaming and shouts to fully be heard.

"He doesn't even recognize us! What's wrong with my baby?!" Brooke's scream was the loudest among the commotion.

James' heart raced as he stared in the door way. Juan was struggling to hold back a frantic Brooke, while also pushing back Kevin. The two adults were acting like nothing James had ever seen before. _Crazy._

More screams could now be heard from _behind_ the trio.

"What is happening to him Juan?!" Kevin cried.

"Please, I'm sorry! But you need to leave and get out _right now_! Logan can't handle this, it's too much!" Pleaded Juan loudly.

"But I want to see my baby!" Brooke sobbed. Kevin pulled her into his arms, eyes widened so you could see the whites, and body shaking.

"Please Brooke. Listen." Juan tried again.

"M-Mommy?" James croaked breaking up the scene. All three adults froze at the eleven-year-old. Just as a pack of nurses and doctor rushed into the room. Still the three looked at the trembling boy.

James was a sight for sore eyes. His hair was a messy (from running his hand through it so many times); his eyes were blood-shot with tears streaming down his face. His face was a look of absolute fear and heart-break.

But it was what he had said that got to everyone. _Mommy_. James had stopped calling his mother _Mommy_ after the day he woke up in the hospital. _Never_, had he called her that since that day.

"M-Mommy…w-what's wrong with Logie?" He squeaked. Brooke ushered to her eldest son's side out of guilt, only to have James flinch.

"James sweetie, I don't know. It's not looking very…good right now." Brooke choked back a sob. Her son needed her now, she had to be strong. _For him_. "But James you can't go in there. We should come back another time, when Logan is a bit better. We'll come back –"

"No!" James yelled sharply. "No! I have to see Logan! I have to see him, please mom! _Please!_" James begged, fear ripping through his veins. Kevin and Brooke shared a look for a moment before shaking their heads. If James was panicking before, he was most certainly panicking right now.

"I'm sorry James, but we don't want you to panic. You have to understand. We're so –"

"You're not sorry!" James interrupted sharply, yanking his hand away from his mother. "Please let me see Logie! I have to see him. _You_ don't understand! I have to!" By this point the child was begging.

His parents could feel each other's heart breaking at the sight before them. They never wanted to tell James no. Especially with Logan now. But Brooke and Kevin stood up, ready to take James' hands.

No! I _have to_ see Logie!" James cried, tears beginning to race down his cheeks now. He then bolted straight for Logan's room; shoving past his parents and Papi Garcia. However, he was not prepared for the sight he came to.

In the hospital bed, thrashing around wildly, while being held down by nurses and a doctor, and screaming was _Logan_.

James could feel his heart stop and plummet all the way to his stomach.

Logan looked so, so different. That's the only way James could describe what he was feeling right now. Logan was _seven_ now and scared. God, he looked so scared.

James couldn't move his feet or body; he was frozen where he was in the middle of the room. He couldn't even move when Juan placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Logan." James croaked hoarsely. The screaming boy in the bed suddenly stopped protesting. He turned his head so, James could see his whole face. "_Logie!_"

And as James was pulled out of the room by force, he stared straight into Logan's familiar brown eyes.

Where he saw _his Logan_.

* * *

_December 29, 2006_

James hadn't said a single word for the rest of that day. He had gone straight to the hotel room, curled up under the covers and laid in the bed all day and all night. Kendall and Carlos had come to his hotel room to curl up next to him, never asking how the visit went or what happened. They just silently held him.

That's really all James needed.

Though, the next day James did get out of bed. In fact, he rushed out of bed that morning with Kendall and Carlos hot on his heels. The three rushed around the hotel, eagerly ready to head to the hospital.

Although his parents had something else in mind for him.

Instead, most of the parents decided to sleep in. That is until James figured he would jump on his parent bed.

"Mom! Dad! Wake up, we gotta go see Logie!" James cried, shaking his parents covers. The two adults groaned in protest. Neither had gotten any sleep at all. Brooke stayed up for the most night crying in another room with Kevin, so James wouldn't hear them. And Kevin just couldn't fall asleep knowing Logan was alive.

"James, dad and I are going later." Brooke mumbled sleepily, rubbing her eyes that were still red from sobbing. She proceeded to cover her head with the blanket. Much like a child would. James frowned and shook his dad.

"Dad, I want to see Logie." He said even quieter.

Kevin yawned tiredly. "James it's too early. It's only…six o'clock. The hospital doesn't even open for another hour. Besides mom said she and I are going later. Sorry bud." Kevin rolled over so he wouldn't have to look at his son's face. He knew James would have a look of shock on.

"But – But, why can't I –"

"James," Brooke snapped loudly. "We said you are _not_ coming with us. End of discussion." Then there was silence. On the inside, Brooke could feel herself crumbling. She didn't want to say no, but after how yesterday went, she didn't want to stress James out. He didn't need any extra stress.

So no meant _no_.

James rolled off the bed numbly; he couldn't tear his eyes off his parents. He felt so very cold. _They weren't going to let him see Logan?_ He could already feel his body beginning to quiver.

No.

No, he wasn't going to stand for this. He wasn't about to just take this. He _was_ going to see Logan, one way or another. With his head high, he turned to Kendall and Carlos. The three stared at each other for a few minutes, before silently nodding. Already, they were on the same page.

They were off to see Logan.

* * *

7:12 a.m.

"Hey James, are we allowed to do this?" Carlos piped up, clutching his helmet strap. He glanced around the busy hospital waiting room. Already, the hospital was bustling with people, nurses and doctors. And the three boys were the youngest visitors.

"Our parents will understand. It's not like this is the first time we have disobeyed them." James shrugged and searched for the security desk. Carlos rolled his eyes.

"I know that!" Carlos could recall many times where he disobeyed his own parents – several of which involved Logan somehow – on the top of his head. He glanced warily at some nurses eyeing them. "I meant with the hospital. Will they mind if we go see Logiebear?"

Kendall looked over at his shorter friend, understanding why he was worried. Of course, Carlos wanted to see Logan just as much as anyone else. He _loved_ Logan. But one look at James told Kendall they were making the right decision, despite the consequences.

"Don't worry 'Litos, it'll be okay." Kendall wrapped an arm around Carlos' shoulders and the other around James. The three looked at each other with promising grins.

"Shall we go see Logan?" Kendall asked.

"Hell yeah!" James laughed ignoring the fact he usually never cursed (out lout). He was too excited to care. The three had made it past the secretary and down the hall. Currently the trio was standing right outside Logan's door, anxiously. The three turned to look one another in the eyes and nodded with new confidence.

"_Hey_!"

James, Kendall and Carlos all jumped and spun around. Behind them, a doctor was making his way towards them, expression firm. Suddenly their mouths went dry. _Uh-oh_.

"What do you three think you're doing?" The man crossed his arms over his chest. James shifted, nervously, on his feet. "You can't go in there."

"Oh, well, we're visiting my brother." James squawked. The doctor looked unimpressed. "Logan Mitchell Diamond is in there. He's my baby brother."

The doctor sighed. "Look, boys, you can't go in there. At least, not without a legal guardian. I'm sorry it's the rules." The man actually looked truly sorry and sincere. Carlos looked down at his shoes, trying to hide the tears forming in his eyes. James' face was blank; filled with no emotion at all. Kendall's face was stone cold. _So close, yet so far…_

"James? Kendall? Carlos?" A familiar voice called from their right. The familiar voice of Papi Garcia.

"Papi!" Cried Carlos, racing for a hug with his father. The officer smiled softly, patting Carlos' helmet. "_Mijo_, what are you three doing here?" He pulled away from his son to look each boy in the eyes, staring them down.

"Um…" James fumbled on his words.

"We wanted to go see Logiebear." Carlos said quietly, eyes glued to the floor. James, Kendall and Juan turned to the Latino. "But James' parents wouldn't let James go. But he really wanted to see Logie – we all did! So since we are eleven, we took a bus to the hospital; a man at the front desk helped us. We took a bus ourselves and arrived at the hospital. So here we are."

Kendall chose to jump in now. "But the doctor said we weren't allowed in without a legal guardian." He whispered.

It was surprising how quiet James had been the entire time. He hadn't even spoken up to explain.

Juan solemnly looked at the brunette with a shy. He knew he should be scolding them for this. "James, how are you feeling today?" James waited a few minutes before answering.

"I feel okay. But nothing will happen to me, as long as I can see Logie." He whispered so quietly, Juan had to strain to hear the boy.

Finally Juan smiled. "Well com on boys, let's go see Logan."

* * *

The boys could only go in one at a time with Papi Garcia. James went first.

James cautiously entered the room, eyes darting to the hospital bed immediately._ Oh._

To his surprise and amazement, Logan was _awake_ and sitting upright.

He was still hooked up to many machines and wires; bandages still covered his small body. But he was _awake_ and staring at James. This was the first time James had seen Logan awake after five years, and not screaming.

What broke James' heart was the look of pure terror on Logan's face for James.

A doctor was right beside Logan's bed, watching the seven-year-old and James carefully.

"Logie?" James breathed finding his voice again. Logan's small body was beginning to tremble. His eyes never left James' own eyes though, and he never spoke. James just stood there; staring at the little brother he missed so, _so_ much. He had so many things he wanted to say, so many things he needed to make up. Logan was right in front of him and he was tongue-tied. He couldn't get any of his words out.

_Why_?

It wasn't until, small pitiful whimpers coming from Logan that snapped James out of his dry daze. He felt his own eyes filling up with tears, upon seeing Logan's terrified face rolling with fresh tears.

"Oh Logie," He whispered, voice hoarse and thick. Logan continued to stare at James with wide, unrecognizing eyes. "L-Logie it's me…it's James. Logie?"

James could feel his hear slowly shattering and his body beginning to tremble. His palms felt sweaty as his fingers twitched by his sides. His nerves were already fried and he was already beginning to panic. As he clenched his fists in order to calm his twitching fingers, his mind raced a hundred-miles-per-hour. Logan was still shaking and whimpering.

_Doesn't he know who I am? Does he recognize me at all? My Logie!_

Trying not to full on panic, James fumbled in his jean pockets for his "lucky comb" (to run his fingers across and through his hair), with shaking fingers. Trembling, he combed the comb through his hair.

And for the first time, Logan made a noise.

At the sight of the "lucky comb", Logan had let out a high pitched squeak. His chocolate-brown eyes were now focused on the comb intently. His shaking form was beginning to slow down.

Suddenly Logan brought a bandaged hand up and pointed. Right at James_ and _the comb.

Juan, James and even the doctor were confused at his actions. They didn't understand what Logan was _doing _or what he _wanted_.

So, Logan continued to make little squeaks and pointed at James. James had stopped combing his hair, and tilted his head to the side.

Slowly he took a step closer to Logan and another. And another. Until he was right next to Logan, still clutching the comb.

"Logie?" He whispered to the seven-year-old. Logan squeaked rather loudly, scotching away from James slightly. He had dropped his finger to huddle against himself, but his eyes were still focused on James' comb.

James raised an eyebrow and held up his comb. "My comb? Do you want my comb?" He asked. Logan did not answer. Gently James lowered the comb – on the bed, for he figured Logan would flinch if he handed it _to_ him. "Here, you can have it Logie."

Logan's eyes traveled down to the comb on his bed and both boys remained frozen in time. Minutes ticked by and still neither boy had moved. Then finally Logan moved.

Slowly, the injured boy grabbed the comb with one hand. After examining the comb, he looked straight at James, and with shaking, gentle fingers he handed back the comb. He placed the comb right in James' shaking hand and motioned towards the older brother's hair. James was even more confused at this new action.

"What do you want Logie?" James asked quietly. Logan, however, only continued to motion towards James' hair and then to the comb. Suddenly his gestures made sense and clicked in James' mind. It was as if a light bulb went off in his brain.

Carefully he ran the teeth of the comb through his soft hair and began to style the hair. A gracious smile came across James, as he saw Logan relax and letting out a small noise. The tension and fear in Logan was slowly draining away, with each swipe of the comb.

James slowly sat down next to Logan – who didn't flinch finally – and continued to smile. He could see the _recognition_ in Logan's eyes. He could see _his_ Logan in those eyes now.

"Logie?" James whispered quietly. Then ever so gently, with trembling fingers, Logan reached out towards James.

And slowly pressed his small hand to James' cheek.

* * *

**Daaaw, how did you like that chapter? Were the reactions good in your guys' opinions?**

**So, thoughts? Ideas? Comments? Any random thing on your mind? Just leave a review for they really do make my day. Especially when I have a bad day.**

**And I pray that Jane is happy where she is and knows many love her. The Worldwide song on Sept. 7th was amazing to watch. Rest In Peace Jane.**

**So I was awesomely happy to put up this chapter and I hope you all were happy to read. This chapter actually took a while. I wanted to get in most emotions.**

**Anyhow I'll be back whenever I can. Leave a review!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	11. 11 Hello

**Hey guys so this is late and well, I am sorry about that. But these past two weeks have been a lot. So last Monday I got a pretty bad concussion in softball and since then I can't concentrate or look at a screen too long without headaches or getting sick. So I've been avoiding computers and such a lot. That's one reason I haven't updated and the other would be this. On TOP of a concussion the computer in my room rebooted itself one day and I lost everything. All the chapters I have written for this are gone, including this one which was over halfway done. Meaning I had to retype the whole thing. So I lost everything. So, yeah it's been a bummer lately.**

**Well on the bright side, new BTR episode Yesterday! Finally! Although I'm tired of all the "love" and drama. Actually I honestly, don't care about it. But meh, still love the show.**

**Disclaimer: If I really owned BTR, then why haven't I been to a concert yet?**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Hello**

_December 29, 2006_

Surprisingly, James', Kendall's and Carlos' parents showed up (except Juan who was there of course) an hour-and-a-half later. Ruining James' moment with Logan.

Logan hadn't spoken a single word but he was no longer shaking or crying after a while with James. He was still wary and did not let anyone touch him. Though, Kendall and Carlos hadn't actually been allowed _in_ the room, the boys were satisfied with watching Logie and James from the doorway. It was plenty, enough to know Logan was really alive and in front of them. They weren't bothered with being unable to touch him yet; that would come later.

But their parents had been none too happy with them, storming into Logan's room with faces of fury and disappointment. Which of course not only upset Logan, but it also terrified the boy. With so many people in the room, Logan began to freak out, with wide eyes and throat hoarse of screaming.

They had to sedate the screaming and frantic child in order to calm him down, upsetting James. He had gotten so far with Logan in such little time. Logan had _recognized _him slightly and now that was ruined.

Tears pricked in the corners of his eyes as all the parents stared down the three boys, in a hallway right outside Logan's room. He wouldn't look any of the adults in the eye; not because he was in trouble, but because they weren't going to let him see Logan in the _first place_.

"Care to explain why you are here and _not _in the hotel? And _why_ we only found a note from you boys?" Kevin began the interrogation with a frustrated sigh. None of the boys spoke. Their heads remained down.

"James Isaac Diamond, you answer your father this instant." Warned Brooke. _Uh-oh, she was using _the_ middle name. Not good._ James swallowed and looked up.

"He recognized me, you know?" James said quietly, startling the adults. Brooke and Kevin stumbled back, but the child went on. "And my "lucky comb". Funny."

"I saw it in his eyes. I saw _our_ Logie. Not a stranger that looked like Logie. He was scared at first. So scared." James whispered roughly. "I was upset he was scared and that he didn't recognize me. Me! Me…he didn't know…didn't…know…" James continued easily eyes unfocused and glazed. His eyes then averted to the tiled floor. "So I pulled out my "lucky comb" 'cause I was nervous. And you didn't need me to get nervous. But you'll never guess what.

"He recognized what I was doing with my comb. He recognized it. He calmed down slowly and I could eventually sit with him. As in, right next to him." James murmured and looked around the hallway. He was looking everywhere but his parents.

Silence.

But James went on. "He wouldn't talk thought, at all. But I just couldn't believe I could finally sit with my brother again. He was…he was right next to me again. It wasn't a-a dream." Now James was done talking. No one else bothered to speak up, figuring he had more to say or they were simply to shocked to speak.

Still not another word was spoken out loud.

Until. "James," Kevin said softly. "But why did you, Kendall and Carlos come here alone? We were so worried something happened to you at first. Especially with Logan…" Kevin couldn't finish his sentence.

James shrugged and picked at his jacket. "You weren't about to let me come to see Logan, were you." He asked in a quiet humble voice. Kevin could see where this was going.

"Well no -" Kevin stopped himself at mid-sentence, seeing James' point. His heart tugged in his chest and his throat was tight.

"I'm sorry bud." Kevin finally whispered, surprising everyone, especially James. James looked up at his father and finally met his father's eyes. The look of hurt and regret in his father's eyes killed James.

"I'm so sorry James, for everything." As Kevin was speaking this, the most unexpected thing occurred. James wrapped his arms in a tight embrace around his father's waist and _hugged_ him. His eleven-year-old_ son_ had hugged him.

Carefully Kevin wrapped his arms around James and smiled a real, gentle smile.

They were finally getting better.

* * *

_January 5, 2007_

James felt a tad bit bad. Just a little, for what he was doing right now. Only because while everyone was talking with each other in the hospital waiting room, James was headed into Logan's room, alone.

He couldn't help it. After what happened seven days ago, he wanted to be with Logan _all _the time. For the past seven days Logan had slept a lot. That was mainly it, but he did wake up quite a few times. Each time he had woken up in a panic - especially with people surrounding him - and cried. Surprisingly, Logan still cried around anyone who came into his room or screamed. Anyone _but_ James.

If Logan was awake and James came in (alone, mind you) Logan would whimper and stare, occasionally crying. But then James would pull out his "lucky comb" and begin to comb through his hair. After a while, Logan would calm down enough that James could sit down near him.

Logan never spoke. _Never._ He sat and watched James comb his hair with curious eyes. James would go ahead and speak out loud as if he were talking to Logan. He didn't even know if Logan listened or paid attention to him when he talked to the boy softly. James talked about anything and everything that came to mind, just to keep a conversation going.

Today Logan was still asleep when James walked into his room. With a small smiled, James pulled up a chair next to Logan's bed.

Patiently, the hazel-eyed boy sat, just watching his brother's sleeping form and coming to believe the reality. To see the rise and fall of Logan's chest; to hear Logan gently breathe in and out; it was all enough to _know_ Logan was really here, and that he was _really _alive.

It was plenty to know that this wasn't all a dream.

James blinked out of his thoughts when he heard small noises coming from Logan. He looked over at Logan to see the younger boy crying. James' heart shattered at the sight. This was _not_ one of the better days. Logan tossed and turned in his bed with small whimpers and cries coming from his mouth. Tears ran down the sides of his face from closed eyelids.

"Logan? Logan, buddy you have to wake up. C'mon Logan, wake up!" James pleaded. He had moved right next to Logan's side, but didn't dare put a hand on Logan. He was still afraid Logan would wake up even more terrified and start screaming, because of that action.

James did not want to scare Logan _ever. _ He didn't want to be the cause of Logan's terror. _Never_, did he want to be the reason Logan would make such a terrified face or such pitiful noises.

"Logan? Please wake up Logan! You're safe here with me Logan. Buddy, you're safe!" Logan's sobs had grown in volume along with his unconscious flailing. "Please! It's okay Logie! You're okay, I promise you!" James begged his younger brother, feeling utterly useless at the moment. _What kind of big brother was he, if he couldn't even protect Logan from a nightmare?_

"Logie…"

At James' croak, the seven-year-old snapped his eyes open. To reveal tear filled and red eyes. But Logan wouldn't calm down. He was still panicking and thrashing wildly, _despite_ being awake.

"L-Logie? Logie, what's wrong?" James asked quickly. A doctor had rushed into the room, confusing James even more. James focused his attention on the doctor, who was looking at Logan's erratic heart monitor.

"Wait, what are you doing?" He asked cautiously, with a raised eyebrow. The doctor sighed, eyes and hands trained on the IV connected to Logan.

"Sorry kid, but he's no longer with us." James' face paled to an extreme and his legs quivered. The man's eyes widened when he registered his words effect on James. "I mean - No! - No, he's alive! But his mind right now, isn't _with _us. He most likely believes he is back with the kidnappers, or they are here. He can't see you, me or the hospital. He just isn't _with _us."

James felt his stomach drop. His throat was already beginning to become raw. He felt a familiar tightness in his chest; one that he had been familiar with for years now.

"I'll have to sedate him. So he can fall back asleep, calmly." Despite the situation James had been in for the past few days, he had to give props to the doctor. Dr. Kilduff - as James finally read his name tag - was patient with James and always explained everything first. He never made James leave the room, and always let him come in with a gentle voice. James frowned nervously.

"But why?" Dr. Kilduff froze, syringe still in hand, to look back at James. "Why would you make him sleep? He's having a nightmare. Sleep was the reason he got a night mare and freaked out! Going back to sleep won't help him. It won't…it won't help."

There was something James wasn't telling them.

Immediately James rushed to the other side of Logan's bed. The small child was thrashing wildly, eyes wider than ever before with tears. His pupils were dilated to black holes, looking right past James. Logan had _no idea_ James was right there.

"Logan please snap out of it! You're safe now! You aren't with them anymore, Logie. It's okay!" James tried, but it was no use. Logan couldn't hear him. Time for plan B.

"_Oh no. I don't have all the answers._" James began to sing softly. His voice was filled with so much melody and profession. Each word came out with emotion straight from his heart. "_If there is one thing I know for sure. Yeah. One is good, but four is better."_

This was an old song James and his parents used to sing to Logan when he was a baby. In the past Logan _made_ James sing it to him every single day to calm him down.

"_It took some time to get here."_ James whirled around as he sang, to see Kendall and Carlos in the door way. Both had soft smiles on and were _singing_ along. "_It's better late than never. Someday it'll come together. Someday…"_

As the trio trailed off in harmony, James saw Logan was no longer crying or panicking. Logan still had tears racing down his cheeks and his breathing was ragged, but he was _here_.

Staring right up at James.

"Hello Logie," James whispered in relief. Slowly he sat down, close to Logan. "Welcome back baby brother…"

And James could smile again.

* * *

"How long will Logie have to stay in the hospital?" Kendall asked, halfway through his cheeseburger and mouth full. The three families had decided to go out to lunch later that day. Logan had fallen back asleep a while ago and remained that way. So, the families decided to finally push everything aside (for now) and enjoy a nice lunch. Even Juan had come along - though he had been very reluctant to leave the hospital.

Juan and Papa Knight looked over at the blond boy. Juan could only shrugged at his question with a small sigh.

"I'm not sure. With his physical injuries, the doctors want him in the hospital for at least another week longer." Juan replied. "They want to give his body time to heal more." Kendall nodded, turning back to his burger. James, Carlos and even Katie hadn't looked up from their food, but they had both heard Papi Garcia.

"Does that mean Logie will come home with us afterward?" James asked when he swallowed. Papi Garcia had looked over at Kevin and Brooke. Kevin was already looking at James but Brooke had a faraway look in her eyes. It was if she had her mind elsewhere.

"I hope so." Whispered Kevin. He couldn't bring himself to tell a possible lie to James. He couldn't say they were _defiantly_ taking Logan home. It was more that he did _hope_ they could. He had so much hope.

"Okay." James smiled at the answer. They had no idea, though, how much James _needed_ Logan home. As James finished his lunch, the table conversation had moved to a happier note of hockey.

But James noticed his mother had been strangely quiet throughout t he entire meal. Not even acknowledging anyone. He knew she was still furious he snuck out, and he was still mad at her but he hated to see her distraught.

He didn't want her like this.

"So you remember that song the guys ad I made up, like six years ago?" James asked, mouth full of fries. Kevin scolded his son's manners with a playful tone. "Yeah that song we called _Someday_? You remember it, right mom?" Brooke snapped out of her doze and looked at James curiously.

"Yeah…"

"Well, we sang it to Logie today." James beamed. Brooke could feel her breath hitch in her throat. "Kendall and Carlos were also singing. I was actually surprised when they did. They aren't _terrible _singers.  
Carlos grinned. "I used to love that song. And it calmed Logiebear down today! But who wouldn't calm down to that song, it's so great isn't it? I wonder if little Logiebear remembers the song. He _did_ calm down. Or he at least recognizes it right? Otherwise he would - Ow! Kendall!" Carlos whined.

He bent over and clutched his poor foot under the table, - which Kendall had so_ kindly_ stomped on - receiving a glare. Carlos' only reaction was to whine and pout.

James shook his head. He had to admit, he was amused by this whole situation; not angry at Carlos and his mouth, like one would expect.

And but the small smile on his mother's lips, James could tell, so was his mother.

* * *

It was two o'clock in the morning when James began to have a seizure. Kendall had woken up to yelling and shaking, followed by his father rushing out their hotel room (his mother, no doubt, was right behind with her room being next door).

Kendall hadn't wanted to leave the hotel room, figuring it would be better with him out of the way. But once he heard James' name, he had bolted out of the room faster than ever.

_No, not now. Why now? Why now?!_

He stopped in the doorway to the Diamond's room, seeing all six adults surrounding one bed. No doubt, with James in it. James' parents were both leaning over the bed, speaking in hushed voices; hands all over the bed. Kendall saw his own mom handing Brooke a syringe and pulling her hands down towards the bed. Kevin and Juan were on either side of the bed _holding something down_. With Sylvia at the edge of the bed.

Every adult was mumbling frantically in quiet voices without dry eyes.

Kendall could hear strangled moans and whimpers coming from James in the bed. Kendall's throat constricted with tears at the noise. _This wasn't supposed to happen._

It was a small sob that broke Kendall out of his frozen state. He looked to his left to see Carlos standing there.

Carlos' eyes were wide and his tan skin was pale. When Kendall looked closer he could see Carlos' body was shaking. Shaking with sobs and fear. Kendall swallowed and went to Carlos. _James was in great hands._

"Carlos, buddy, it's okay." Kendall soothed quietly. The smaller eleven-year-old latched onto Kendall, fisting his pajama shirt. Kendall gently rubbed small circles in Carlos' back, contemplating on what to say next. "James is going to be alright. Just like he always is. This has happened before."

"That's the point!" Carlos cried, twisting to look up at Kendall. The leader façade was really beginning to crack now. "That had happened before! Lots of times! A-And every-every time it never g-get's any easier!" Sobbed Carlos. "James doesn't deserve this. He's worried about Logan but he-he also has to w-worry about his e-epilepsy. That's _never _going to go away Kendall!"

Carlos' voice had grown quieter throughout his rant, until it was not higher than a whisper. Kendall simply swallowed and held Carlos tighter.

"We just got _Logiebear_ back Kenny," Carlos croaked. "I can't lose James. Not when we need him. Not when Logiebear needs him." Both boys remained silent. For the first time in a while, Kendall had _no idea_ on what to say to Carlos.

He was speechless.

Kendall and Carlos sat on the ground in the hotel hallway, comforting each other. Kendall found himself drifting to his thoughts. Thoughts that lingered around Logan. And guilt.

Yes, Kendall Knight felt guilty.

Guilty that Logan had been kidnapped. Guilty that James was suffering with Epilepsy. Guilty that everyone had experienced so much pain and that they still were.

As the oldest, it had been his job to protect the younger guys. It was his duty to protect his _family_. And he had failed at that.

All these years had passed by and the guilt never rose itself off of Kendall's shoulders. Instead he carried it on his shoulders, secretly, for all this time. Why hadn't he just held James' hand? Why did he let go? If he hadn't let go of James' hand five years ago, none of this would have ever happened. If Kendall thought about it, it had all come down to being his fault. _Should have never let go…_

Logan would have been safe. _Not in a hospital_.

James would be happy._ Not suffering from seizures._

Carlos would be laughing. _Not terrified of losing James or Logan._

His parents would be in love. _ Not divorced._

The Diamonds would be smiling every day._ Not fighting._

"-dall?" Kendall blinked and looked down at Carlos. The Latino had finished crying and was staring at Kendall worried. "Kendall? Can you hear me Kendall?"

"Huh? Sorry buddy. What's up?" He shook his head and plastered on a fake smile that could fool anyone. Carlos frowned and folded his arms over his chest.

"What's wrong Kendall? What's bringing you down? What are you thinking about?" Carlos pestered. Kendall's grin faltered. Carlos had seen right threw him.

"I-I. Nothing Carlos." Kendall ducked his head away shamefully. He hoped the boy would understand and drop the subject. Unfortunately Carlos was almost as stubborn as Kendall, meaning he was not about to drop this.

"No Kendall. Tell me the truth. What's wrong?" He huffed. Kendall was quiet for a long time. Carlos thought his was going to have to yell it out of him, until he heard Kendall's voice.

His voice was so quiet but so _broken_.

"It's all my fault."

Carlos gaped. "What this? No way. You _did not_ cause James' seizure. Besides it's over now. he's okay!" Carlos pointed to the room, where James was sitting upright, alright. Kendall shook his head.

"No, _everything_. Logan's kidnap. James getting hurt. All this pain. All of-"

"Now you wait just a minute Kendall!" Carlos interrupted. Kendall's wet eyes face Carlos. "How is any of this your fault? It's no one's!"

"If-If I hadn't let go of James hand! I-If only I hadn't let go!" Kendall cried hysterically. Carlos was in awe. Their leader, his best friend was falling apart before his eyes. All because of absurd guilt.

"Kendall Francis Knight listen here." Carlos snapped, suddenly yanking on Kendall's arms. The crying blond froze at the anger and stared. "Don't you dare tell me you think this is all your fault! Because it's not, you hear me? If anyone, it was that sick jerk that kidnapped Logan! That psycho is to blame. Not you. You hear me? Don't you _ever_ say it was your fault! _No one_ could have prevented any of this! You helped me, you probably _saved_ me Kendall! Doesn't that mean anything?"

"Carlos I-I-"

"No Kendall let me finish. None of this was your fault. Never. I don't blame you, James doesn't blame you, no one blames you and you know why?" Kendall's lips quivered and Carlos pulled him in a hug. "Because you did nothing wrong. This could never have been your fault Kenny. You're such a good person. How could you think that? You've been feeling this guilty and you never told anyone? Why didn't you tell us Kenny?"

Kendall couldn't answer through his tears, he simple held onto Carlos crying the pain away.

"I-I j-just a-always felt a-and n-no one needed t-to worry a-about me a-also." Kendall sobbed. Carlos sighed softly and stroked the blond hair.

"Oh Kenny, we're always going to worry about you buddy. Just like you always worry about us. It's what family does. Deal with it." Kendall managed a broken laugh. "But Kendall you can't keep something like guilt from us ever again. You have to tell us everything. We can help. Promise me, you'll never hide anything from us again."

"I promise Carlos. I promise."

* * *

**Well that's all I have. Not much action, but really there isn't a whole lot. So more Logan will be in the next chapter. I hope you all enjoyed this. It took me a really long time to do and get out. Again I apologize for the late update. But at least it's hear.**

**Comments? Thoughts? Ideas? Anything you have to say? Just drop a review down below please! They always make me smile! I love them.**

**Oh, I finally hear the BTR song **_**You're Never Alone**_** and omg I think it's my new favorite song! I love the way the sing it how their voices sound and the lyrics! Oh yeah, such a great song.**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	12. 12 Finding Out

**Wow, it's been a long time hasn't? Oops, I apologize. But I do have a major concussion so it's very hard to focus and work for long periods in time. Also with that, keeping up in school and making up work has been extremely difficult and time consuming. Beside classes are harder this year. **** And school is my priority first. But I will always find time to write!**

**So I hope you like this chapter, it took FOREVER to write but it's extra-long for you guys! Looong! :p**

**Again, thank you to all those who have reviewed – they make my day – and faved, alerted or followed this story! Every one of you makes me happy! And everyone that takes the time to view, I was like 20 away from 4,000 views and to me that is AMAZING. I love you all!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned BTR, the episodes would look more like Big Time Rescue…**

* * *

**Chapter 12: Finding Out**

_January 7, 2007_

_ "This is going to be the best sleepover ever!" Carlos declared high and mighty from his position on the couch. James rolled his eyes but he couldn't help but smile at the Latino. His energetic nature was always contagious. He even had Kendall jumping on the couch with him, smiling happily. James shifted on his feet, arguing with his mind on whether to join them or not. Would mom yell?_

_ "Boys, calm down." A warm laugh filled the room, causing Kendall and Carlos to stop. However, the two continued giggling like fools. Behind the boys, stood a smiling Mommy Diamond. One hand had a bowl of arranged and mixed-matched snacks, while she balanced a one-year-old Logan on her hip. "Have some snacks, and just enjoy videogames. Logan is going to be in about half-an-hour. So you'll have to be quiet."_

_ The three older boys nodded when Logan started wriggling in his mother's arms. Mommy Diamond looked at him catching his frown._

_ "No ma-ma." Logan whined still squirming. Mommy Diamond let the little boy down on his own two feet. He wiggled his little feet-y pajama feet, until they touch the ground. Mommy Diamond, however, held onto his arms, much to Loagn's dismay._

_ "What baby? What's wrong?" Mommy Diamond humored herself. James grinned at the sight._

_ "No. No." Logan whined. "No sweepy. Stay up. Up." He complained loudly. James chuckled and held out his hand to Logan. Logan groaned, but ran to James when his mother finally let go of him. Logan let out an array of giggles when he ran into James' arms._

_ "I stay up." Logan claimed, clutching James' hand and beamed cutely. Mommy Diamond sighed but left it at that. She knew her son would fall asleep within the hour anyway._

_ With that, she left the boys to themselves._

_ James smiled down at the happy filled younger brother and then to his two friends._

_ "So boys," Kendall grinned and pulled the beanie over his bangs. "Weady fow a night to wemembew?" _

_ It was nearly midnight when James leaned back and let out a yawn. He rubbed his arms when another flash of lightning hit, followed by the role of thunder. A storm had brewed overhead about an hour ago and was only getting worse. He looked back at Kendall and Carlos who were still deep in a head-to-head battle of Mario Karts, on a videogame race. James' character had "died" after Carlos' character had "so kindly" pushed him off a cliff._

_ James snorted at Carlos' and Kendall's cried of accusation, victory or defeat._

_ "Oh yeah, take that Caw-lose! Who's the Champion of Wacing now? Oh yeah, that's right! Kendall Knight is!" Kendall cried loudly, jumping up. He started a small victory dance which he deemed his "happy dance", while Carlos sulked on the ground. James merely laughed at his face._

_ "Not funny James." Whined Carlos over another thunder boom._

_ All three boys had erupted into laughter, until a new sound was beginning to start. It was a quiet sound, almost unheard._

_ The sound of a whimper and a quiet sob._

_ James, Kendall and Carlos all froze and listened until the heard another quiet sob in the silence. They turned around to see that behind them was a doorway._

_ Logan had fallen asleep and been taken to bed almost two hours ago, but yet there he was. Standing behind the door way, peeking in the room with half a face. More, quiet sobs came from where he was. And with another clap of thunder and a flash of lightning, his face was illuminated. James could see the fresh tears rolling down the sides of his face. James could see the pain and fear on little Logan's face from where he was, as Logan buried his face in his teddy bear, Benny._

_ For a moment nobody moved a single muscle._

_ That is until James bolted to his baby brother's side, with Kendall and Carlos close behind._

_ "Oh Logie, what's wrong?" James cooed, engulfing Logan into a hug. The one-year-old immediately wrapped his small arms around his brother's neck and clutched on for dear life, sobbing into James' shirt. The older brother continued to rub Logan's back in attempt to calm him down._

_ "I-I sc-scawded." Logan cried, burrowing deeper into James. Kendall and Carlos entered the hug, wrapping their arms around the two brothers. "No l-like li-lightnin' or t-tunder."_

_ James' heart cracked. What to do? What to do?_

_ "Hey," Kendall said softly. "How about a lullaby Logie? Huh, would you like us to sing one?"_

_ Logan sniffled and cried softly into James' shirt for a few minutes, before twisting his head to see Kendall. With a loud sniffle, he nodded timidly. Giving off a gentle smile, Kendall wracked his brain for some kind of lullaby._

_ "I don't have all the answews. Yeah…uh…but thewe is one thing I know for suwe."_

_ "One is good but four is better!" Carlos piped up happily when Kendall faltered. Loan grinned watery and giggled. Even James couldn't hide a smile._

_ "It took some time to get here, it's better late than never…" Finished James with a small smile._

_ By then Logan had stopped crying and trembling. He was fast asleep, curled up softly between his brother and best friends._

_ It couldn't get any better than this._

* * *

"James? James? Jaaaaaaaames?" James could feel the moment slip away from him, as his eyes slowly open. Realization set in, that it had all just been a dream. A memory within a dream. The reality was still so real, and still very much here.

Slowly he opened his eyes and blinked a few times when the world blurred. Eventually he could make out Carlos' face above him. James frowned for a moment allowing time for his brain to catch up. He blinked once more and the world came into focus.

"Oh you're awake! Finally!" Carlos cheered above, face still pressed close into James' personal face. James grunted and stretched his arms over his head, feeling the pops and cracks in his back and joints. It felt good to stretch out his sore body after last night. James managed to swallow and push the thought about last night into the far back of his head.

"Carlos, could you do me a favor?" Mumbled James, who was attempting to kick off the bed covers. Carlos had this look on his face of absolute loyalty, looking as if he was ready to do anything that James was to ask. Even an impossible request. Carlos was ready.

"Of course James." Carlos grinned. James felt the corners of his lips twisting upward at his personality, but had to remain stoic for this to work.

"I need you," He leaned up very closely, until his lips were right next to Carlos' ears. With a smirk, he took a deep breath and yelled. "To get _off _of me!" Carlos jumped back up off the taller boy, flailing his arms much like a headless chicken, before falling promptly off the bed.

James attempted a cough in his hand to hide his snicker. It seemed he hadn't done a good job hiding it, for Carlos sat up pouting on the floor.

"Jerk." Carlos muttered arms folded over his chest. James merely chuckled in response. Meanwhile, Kendall wandered into the hotel room; Katie was right behind him. He took in the sight of two laughing goofballs he had called his own friends, and that brought warmth to his heart. It almost was like last night hadn't happened.

Kendall could feel his face flush a pink color at the thought of last night. He was beyond embarrassed by his breakdown, especially haven broken down in front Carlos last night. Kendall had always been the strong one; the one who helped his friends with their problems and lead them to a better way. He wasn't the kid to talk about emotions or even reveal emotions like he had last night; he would rather help the others. But in a sense, he strangely felt a bit later.

Kendall smiled over at the two, who were grinning at Kendall, having realized he was in the room.

"Kendall!" The two chorused. Kendall laughed and waved back at them.

"Hey guys," Kendall glanced over at James, who looked slightly paler today than yesterday. "How do you feel bud?" James shrugged but smiled.

"Okay, better than last night. I'll be fine later today." He waved off Kendall's concern with a hand, and headed into the bathroom, where his parents were.

"Mom, dad? Are we leaving to see Logie now, or soon?" James called in the bathroom. His parents were already dressed and moved around inside the bathroom. His mother was looking into the mirror, fixing the last of her hair, not looking at James at all. His father, however, sighed at James and looked down at his son.

"James, we're not going to see Logan today. At least you're not. First your mom and I are going to talk to Papi Garcia, about…everything. The we will see Logan. _You_ need to rest today. Especially last night, you have to rest today." Kevin said gently. He could see James' lower lip beginning to tremble.

"B-But-"

"Please James. Do this for us. It won't help Logan if you visit, dead tired like you are. Just rest today and we'll bring you to see Logan bright and early tomorrow. Please?" Kevin pleaded when his son hung his head. But slowly James nodded timidly. He turned on his heel and dragged his feet across the hotel room, in a sluggish manner.

"Where are you going?" Carlos asked when he saw his friend heading towards the bed rather than leaving. James didn't answer but climbed into his bed, and pulled the covers up and over his head.

Carlos and Kendall shared a look with one another. It was obvious there was something wrong with James. Instantly concern emerged from their skin and they made their way towards the covered friend. Still James refused to answer or even push his head up and out of the covers. Kendall and Carlos felt frowns upon their faces when they saw Mrs. And Mr. Diamond walking out of the bathroom, all dressed and ready to go except they didn't even stop for James. Heck, James wasn't even moving to get up.

"We'll be back in a couple of hours okay boys. Right now we have to go talk to Papi Garcia for a while, alone." James' mother called just before they were out the door. No one answered. "Bye boys. Bye Katie."

Katie stood by the door watching it shut, with both Diamond parents gone. Carlos and Kendall crawled onto the hotel bed as realization dawned upon them.

"James," Carlos asked timidly. His voice was a squeak. He was afraid if he said anything wrong it would set off James. "James?" He tried again, this time clearing his throat so his voice sounded normal. "Are you going to be okay?"

Silence.

Finally, the covers shuffled and twisted, until a face popped out from under the bed. There was James' face. Hair strewn across his face in a messy manner, face slightly pale and eyes red with tears threatening to leak. It was a few moments of heartache before James nodded once.

"Yeah," He whispered and closed his eyes. "I just gotta rest today…for Logie." Kendall couldn't help but smile at James. The taller brunette was being very strong, listening to his parents, even though Kendall knew James was breaking inside. James had always been strong, but it seemed like lately James was really showing Kendall just how brave and strong he really was. All this courage he was hiding.

And Kendall had never been prouder.

The boys remained on the bed for half an hour simply talking or letting James sleep, before Carlos spoke up.

"Hey James, why do you think your parents are talking to my Papi?" He asked curiously. James sat up at the comment, letting the sheets fall onto the bed. He yawned and allowed his thoughts to roam. He actually hadn't really thought about why his parents needed to talk to Papi Garcia. But he did know it had something to do with Logan.

But what exactly was the reason why they were all talking, _without_ James, Carlos or Kendall.

He glanced over at Kendall to see an expression on his face that he knew all too well. A face that made James smirk.

"_Oh._"

"What?" Kendall was playing the innocent card.

"That face. I _know_ that face, Kendall. That's your I'm-up-to-something-face. You have a plan don't you." James' smirk grew wider and wider with each word. By now Carlos was also grinning at Kendall who continued to play innocent.

"Me? Up to something? Now why would you ever say that?" Kendall smiled ruffling James' hair. James protested and flung his arms up, only Kendall was already on the move. He crossed the hotel room, opened the door and took Katie's hand. "Well are you coming?"

"Coming where?" But Carlos was following Kendall as he asked this. James was right on their heels not even bothering to ask.

"Oh, just to get a drink of water." Kendall grinned victoriously.

* * *

"Can you hear them? Do you know what they're saying?" Carlos asked, mouth full with a package of fruit-smackers he had in his pocket.

"Hush. I'm trying to listen." James shushed the shorter boy.

"Can you two not talk for like, five minutes? We could hear them if you both would just shut up." Kendall hissed from underneath both James and Carlos.

All three boys were pressed up against the hallway door of the Garcia's hotel room; just trying to listen and "maybe overhear" what they were saying. They were in no way eavesdropping. No, no way.

"Are you sure you want to know right now?" Papi Garcia's voice became clear and loud enough, shutting the three boys up so they could hear. There was shuffling on the other side of the door before James' mother spoke up.

"Yes, we need to know…what has happened to our Logan. We need to be prepared for the future." Her voice was muffled by the door, but it was still squeaky and high pitched, from fear would be James' guess.

"Alright. You'll want to sit down. All of you." Came Papi Garcia's sigh. James, Kendall and Carlos all shared a look with one another, hearts pumping loudly in their chests. Unconsciously their hands wound with one another, squeezing each other in an act of sympathy.

"It had all began about two years ago when there was a report of a missing child in Bismarck, North Dakota. You remember when I had to skip out on our fourth of July party two years ago to head down to North Dakota right?" Silence followed and James assumed everyone was nodding. "Yes, well the case as I said was a missing child case. It was a little boy, about five years old. He had been missing for two weeks, after a bank robbery. A masked man and group had taken the bank and held the people hostage while robbing the bank of thousands of dollars. When the police had arrived the hostages and robbers were gone. A mother and witness had stated they had taken the five year old boy with them, by force.

"What struck this case as odd though to me, were the descriptions of the robbers and kidnappers. The hostages and employees at the bank described the men as all dressed in black, wearing clown masks." James could feel his heart leaping into his throat with a sharp thud. His breathing quickened at the thought of that one man, wearing that go awful clown mask, with Logan over his shoulder and running, running farther and farther away from James. Away with Logan.

Kendall's eyes went straight for James. Though, he had not seen the masked man with Logan with his own eyes, James had described what the guy had looked like, with such a haunted and broken voice. He immediately knew this was hard for James, and squeezed James' hand again.

James smiled weakly at Kendall's comforting gesture.

"You mean…like…?" Kevin tried to choke out.

"Yes, just like the men who had…taken Logie. So I went for the case as soon as the opportunity rose. Being so close to our town, the Police Department of North Dakota asked for a department in our police unit. I jumped on the chance and was headed the Bismarck. To shorten the story I'll just say, we found the boy. Three weeks later, abandoned in a storage unit far north of Bismarck. The manager had said he never met the people who had bought that unit. They had bought it in late July, and he had never seen them once. They paid fully in cash and did not request monthly payments. After three weeks the owner claimed to have heard, quiet whimpers coming from that storage unit. After three days of hearing it constantly and not seeing the owners of the storage unit, the manager called us believing it needed to be investigating and not wanting to break policy by entering." At this point Papi Garcia had stopped to take a breath, and paused for a few moments.

"Inside that storage unit was that little boy," James swallowed thickly. They still hadn't even found Logan._ Logan had been missing for five years by then and he was still missing; that boy was missing three weeks but he got found. Why? Why was he found first? Why not Logie? He had been missing longer, it wasn't fair!_

"The little boy had been gagged, tied up with rope and electrical wire and left in an empty and overheating storage unit. He was very dehydrated, malnourished and wounded. Doctors had confirmed he would have died within the week if we hadn't found him." Another long pause. "I was disappointed, figuring that was it. The case was over, and would be thrown back as a lookout case for search of the missing kidnappers. It was heartbreaking to think those kidnappers were getting away and that this hadn't been a case connecting to Logie.

"But once again I had been surprised. Just before my unit left to head back to Minnesota, we visited the boy once more who was barely speaking to his own mother, let alone strangers. When we announced we were leaving the boy stopped us with one sentence." Another pause. "He said, 'What about the other boy?'".

Carlos felt his knees going weak at the question. How was it, that one question held so much power over them?

"And I froze. I asked him what he meant and all he said was, 'There was another boy. Older.', and that was it. He didn't speak to us again but that was all I needed to hear. I had been right. These were Logan 's kidnappers." The dread in Papi Garcia's voice was replaced with determination and power.

"I couldn't believe that the possibility of Logan being alive. It gave me a new determination." Papi Garcia said proudly. "So, then this case was brought to me six months ago. It was a case in L.A. It was another case of kidnapping but the larger part of this case was a drug deal, the L.A.P.D needed help solving. And I took it because they needed our help. But," There was another pause. James was biting down on his lip so hard, until he could taste the copper taste of blood. "But, three weeks ago was when we learned the drug dealers were also in for kidnapping. A kidnapping of a child seven years ago."

"Logan?" Brooke croaked quietly. James, Kendall and Carlos had to press up even more against the door just to hear her.

"I didn't know at the time. And I didn't tell any of you, or well, anyone because it could have _not_ been Logan. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up; just in case there was the possibility it wasn't Logan. I didn't want to have everyone happy and _hope_ it was Logan when it wasn't. And then there was the fact that, 'what if we didn't capture them, or find Logan?' at all." Papi Garcia sighed sadly.

"Then on the 17th of December was the day we were going to move in. We had been following an inside source on the drug dealers, and we had learned that they were going to make a deal on the 17th. They would be doing a drug exchange in an old warehouse here in California. So my unit and three other of the L.A.P.D units staked out the warehouse during the exchange. My unit was to go on the back area of the warehouse where the vans were. And the other three units would take the front, right and left side." Papi Garcia explained. "But once my unit reached the van, I saw something I will never forget. In the back of one of the vans I could clearly see a little boy, tied up, and gagged in the window of the back of the van. And it was Logan."

At this pause the boys could hear multiple gasps of horror in the room. James couldn't help but follow and gasp.

"It was at that moment that everything came crashing down for me. I was – I felt so many emotions at that moment. Anger, relief and shock. I was so…so angry, so angry that this had happened. I was so angry that Logan was in this mess and that those bastards had him this whole time. I was just so unbelievably angry. I just snapped." By now guilt laced Papi Garcia's voice. "I went straight for the van without thinking. All I could think of was to say Logan. I'm so grateful…my unit…they, they understood and they knew who Logan was. They had my back, they went with me and took out some dealers on the outside, and followed me. They always had my back, bless them.

"Luckily the other units had already gone inside to break the deal. I was focused on Logan and once I had opened the door, it was him. It was then, that I really saw Logan and I could see he was alive. I finally had found Logan." Papi Garcia sighed. "But he was so scared. God so scared. He didn't even know who I was. I'll never forget the look on his face when I opened that van door," Papi Garcia's voice was shaking slightly with emotion as he explained. "He was so afraid of me when we came in, shaking and crying. And the screaming. He wouldn't stop screaming. He didn't know who I was anymore. God, I just…I'm just glad none of you were there to see him that day. If you think he's bad now just…yeah…"

James' heart was dropping as Papi Garcia continued to talk. Thoughts and fear raced through his mind as he listened. The idea of Logan being worse than when he first saw him was unimaginable. Every time James tried to picture Logan being worse, tears kept filling his eyes up.

It was unbearable to imagine.

James choked back a sob and bolted away from the door before anyone could stop him. He didn't really want anyone to hear him cry. Not again.

* * *

_January 8, 2007_

Not a single parent figured out that James, Kendall and Carlos had eavesdropped on their conversation, and knew the whole story. They had come back to the Diamond's hotel room, to find the three boys curled up together and watching TV. James' tears (along with Kendall's and Carlos') had dried long before his parents came home and he wasn't heartbroken anymore.

Today the three families were in the waiting room of the hospital with James already heading to Loan's room. He had already memorized how to get to Logan's room himself, and almost every other spot in this hospital.

Taking a deep breath, James opened the door and poked his head in. His "lucky comb" was clutched firmly in his right hand, ready to start combing his head when he entered. His eyes wandered over to the hospital bed where, of course, Logan was upright and awake. Dr. Kilduff was seated in a chair behind Logan.

James waved to the doctor and sent a small, hesitant grin to Logan. Then, the oddest thing happened that made James' chest swell.

Logan immediately relaxed upon seeing James. But, for the first time in over a week, James did not need his "lucky comb" to calm Logan down.

For the first time Logan looked calm, _right away_.

And for the first time, James could smile from the heart.

_ We're on our way Logie._

* * *

**Well I think that is a nice spot to end this longer chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it, I know there wasn't a lot of action but now you all know what happened with Papi Garcia and how he found Logan. Poor guy.**

**So thoughts? Ideas? Likes? Dislikes? Anything on your mind?**

**I hope you all enjoyed it, with this concussion and time this chapter took so long to do, and again I apologize. But I hope this was a good chapter to make up the time loss. I love the ending.**

**So next chapter will involve interaction with Logan, James AND Kendall and Carlos.**

**So hopefully I can update soon, I have a three day weekend! WOO HOO, but I also have to study…..**

**So leave a review with your thoughts, and thank you all!**

**Peace out!**


	13. 13 Remember Them?

**Heyyy, wow fast update huh? I did this to make up for my last super long update. So I hope you're all happy **

**Also I do want to clarify this. I made a few mistakes in the last chapter, this concussion has me mixing up my numbers for this story, and I want to clear this up. Logan is 7-years-old now. He's been missing for 5 years, and the other boys are 11-years-old. Just remember that, and I'll try not to make this mistake again. Sorry….**

**Buuut I just love all you sweet reviewers. You guys really do make me smile. And don't worry, everyone who has added this story to favorites or alerts I love you guys too. It makes me so happy. So, who's ready for Carlos and Kendall to really meet Logan?**

**Also, to the Guest who reviewed chapter 5, if you're reading this, yes I will be writing one ****. I just need to get like past chapter 17 with this story and then I'll start it. But thanks for the enthusiasm!**

**Disclaimer: Too bad these boys aren't mine…even after thirteen chapters…**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 13: Remember Them?**

_January 9, 2007_

The smile on James' face was there to stay; this is for now it was. As long as he was allowed in this room, here with Logan, he continued to smile. Just as long as he could stay with his little brother.

It no longer felt like a dream to James anymore. He no longer felt like he would wake up, and _all _of this would just be gone. Finally, he could feel happy and know everything was_ real_. That did not, however, stop the fear he still felt every day. It did not stop his crazy fear that Logan would disappear _again, _or be gone if James left. He couldn't help but be afraid that Logan would go missing _again_.

James wouldn't be able to handle that if Logan ever went missing again. James _couldn't _handle that again.

But instead, James shoved those thoughts, and many similar ones, to the back of his mind for now. That way, all of his focus was on the joy of Logan being right here with him. The seven-year-old still had not uttered a single word. He was beyond quiet; in fact, Logan would be considered silent.

Or a mute.

The doctor's had already labeled him, with a simple diagnostic. It broke James' heart to know Logan was _labeled_. _Diagnosed._ Logan's muteness was not a physical or medical result - there was no damage to his throat, neck or vocal cords that would cause permanent disability to speak - as to why he was a mute. The doctors had concluded it was psychological and a mind-set muteness.

Logan _chose_ to be silent.

James couldn't help but feel useless. He wanted nothing more than to help Logan, and help his brother to speak. He would give the world up just to hear Logan speak again.

Right now, James was sitting in a hard, plastic chair right next to Logan's bed. Their mother and father were on the opposite side of the room, talking quietly with the doctor. Logan was sitting upright in his bed, watching James comb his hair, with curious eyes. James had never noticed before how big, round and brown Logan's eyes were, until now.

"So Logie, are they treating you nicely in here?" James began talking. He received no answer of course. In the beginning James had cried when Logan wouldn't answer. He was like the six-month-baby he was before. James would talk but Logan couldn't (wouldn't) answer him.

"I bet they are. Dr. Kilduff seemed like a real nice guy. Cool I bet." James continued with a hesitant smile. "And your bed looks so comfortable, with all those pillows. They're probably sooo soft. Man, are they made of feathers?" Still no response. "But, I'll let out in on a little secret. You'll be leaving the hospital soon." By now James had lowered his voice to a whisper. At this, Logan did cock his head to the side. _It was a start._ "This means, you'll get to come home soon. Isn't that great?" And…silence. It didn't matter to James though; he was still smiling.

"I can't wait 'till then," James said softly. "When you can come home."

And what a day, that day would be.

* * *

When James was returning from the Cafeteria with a drink, when he noticed Kendall and Carlos both trying to peer into the room through the tiny glass window on the door. James frowned.

"Guys? What are you doing?" He watched as Carlos and Kendall, both jumped back. They stumbled on one another and fell to a heap on the floor, moaning in pain.

"Geez James, you scared us!" Carlos cried as he helped Kendall up off the floor. James hid a smile behind his cup, and headed towards his two friends.

"I'll ask again, what were you doing?"

Kendall and Carlos glanced down at their shoes, with a sheepish look on, with rosy-red cheeks.

"Um, well, we…we…we were just…"

"We were trying to get a look of Logie, but the window is so small!" Carlos blurted out, cutting off Kendall. James raised one eyebrow at the statement, and the two friends deflated in defeat.

"We were trying to get a look at him. We haven't really seen him all too much since we foun – since we've been here." Kendall explained quietly. Carlos nodded. "We wanted to get a look at him, but I mean the window is so small even for one person."

"Okay, but how haven't you seen - " James started, but stopped when he realized their situation. Kendall and Carlos hadn't ever gone _into_ Logan's hospital room, since they arrived. On multiple accounts they had been in the door way, or out in the hall, but never in Logan's room.

_ Oh._

"Guys…why haven't either of you gone _in_ to see Logie?" James asked softly. Carlos bit his lips, and twiddled with his thumbs. Kendall sighed.

"Well, Logan is so scared of everybody. _Even you_ and your parents. His own parents and brother. He's terrified of people, and we didn't want to put stress on your family by scaring him. Then getting everyone upset and…and…" Kendall stopped himself, eyes casted down. James frowned at the action.

"And what?" No answer. "Guys?"

"And…we're scared." Carlos whispered. He was clutching his own shirt tightly; his knuckles had turned ghostly white. Whatever was scaring them, was really bothering them, was really bothering them and it hurt James to see them like this.

"We're scared to terrify him. I don't want to see him scream, or cry because…because of me!" Carlos squeaked. James' heart went to the boy. He knew exactly what the boy was feeling. "I'm so scared, that he'll always be afraid of me and…scream…"

James walked towards his friends and gently pulled both of them in a hug. They needed one, and god knows he did too.

"I know 'Litos. I know." James whispered. "It's hard. He was terrified of all of us – he's still so scared – and it did hurt. It really did hurt to see him so…so afraid of me, my parents. It's okay to be scared of all that. It's okay to be scared guys. I am."

"Y-You are?" Carlos asked eyes wide.

"Yeah bud. I'm scared Logie will always be broken, and I won't be able to help. I'm his brother! I'm scared he may always be afraid. But then I see he's here. He's _with_ us, and it's going to take the time. But he will get better. I have total faith he'll recognize you guys too. Just like he did with me." James said firmly. Carlos gave a watery smile, while Kendall looked skeptical.

"I'm scared," Kendall whispered. Carlos and James went dead silent. The leader of their group, hardly ever admitted when he was afraid. And when he did, it was serious. "I'm scared…I won't be able to help him. I'm scared I'll be useless. I'm scared…t-to…to lose…anyone else…" By the end, Kendall's voice was so quiet; James and Carlos had to strain to hear. The two shared a look, and then swung their arms around Kendall.

"Sorry bud, but you're stuck with both of us for a long, long time." James said lazily. "For, like, ever."

Kendall cracked a tiny grin when Carlos spoke up. "Yup, all of us came as a packaged deal. That includes Logiebear." He chirped happily. "Just like James said, we're going to help Logiebear out every day. But we're never giving up even when we get stuck."

It always happened like this. Separate or split up, the boys would crumble. But together, nothing could stop them. They would always be there, to lean on each other's shoulders.

* * *

When James entered the familiar hospital room, Dr. Kilduff wasn't in the room. Only Logan was, in his bed. Logan's eyes, immediately, went to the door, wide with fear. Once they locked on James, the fear dissolved into something calmer.

His body was still tense and curled up as much as it would, despite his injuries, but his eyes and face were relaxed. Not completely afraid. James smiled gently at the seven-year-old.

He entered the room quietly, leaving the door open and stood next to Logan. But the younger brunette wasn't playing attention to James. Instead his eyes were trained on the doorway, widening each minute.

Kendall and Carlos were both standing in the doorway, nervous wrecks and silent. When they seemed to notice Logan staring at them – they couldn't tell if Logan was scared or just surprised – they looked to James. The oldest Diamond boy nodded in an encouraging manner. With two breaths, Kendall and Carlos entered the room

_So far so good._

They each took another step. And another. And another, towards Logan and James.

_Okay, still good. Still good_.

That is until a sob stopped both of them. A strangled sob and scream made Kendall and Carlos freeze where they were. Their bodies went rigid as ice and all the color drain from both of their faces.

Logan had backed all the way into the headboard of his bed, sobbing and trembling in fear. His heart monitor was now racing much too fast for a child his age. James could feel his own breath and heart beat quickening in anxiety.

"Oh no, no, no! Logie, no it's okay. You're fine Logie! They're not going to hurt you!" James was quick to move to Logan's side. He didn't dare touch Logan, but instead chose to talk about him in order to calm him down. "Please Logie, everything is fine. I promise – Logie I promise you, you're safe! It's just Kendall and Carlos! You remember them right? They're you're best friends Logie!"

Nothing seemed to be working to calm Logan down this time.

Behind the brothers, Carlos was slowly crumbing. Hot, fresh tears rolled down his face like waterfalls. His lower lips was trembling; threatening to fall and allow loud sobs to come out. His body trembled with each silent cry.

Logan. Loagn. _Logan_ was _terrified_. Of him. _Logiebear was terrified of him!_ Of Carlos.

Kendall was numb. Numb and cold. He couldn't even feel himself anymore. James' and Logan's voices and sobs sounded so far away and muffled now. He couldn't even bring himself to cry. There were no tears left in him to cry.

_Thump!_

James _and_ Logan both turned towards the source of the sound. James saw that Carlos had dropped his helmet to rub his eyes. The old black helmet rolled on the floor and sat there. James watched as Logan's sobs subsided, while his gaze lingered on the abandoned helmet. James watched, as Logan's face twisted into something new, even with the tears on his face.

In a split second, James realized what the face Logan was making was. An idea came to mind.

Logan was _trying_ to think. He was trying to _recognize _Carlos' helmet. He was making _connections_.

Just like James' lucky comb.

"Carlos. Carlos!" James hissed quietly. The Latino jumped with red, teary eyes. James' heart constricted, but he ignored it. "Your helmet!"

At this, Carlos couldn't help but be confused._ His helmet? What could his helmet do now?_ When James saw the confusion filling Carlos' face he sighed.

"Your helmet! Logie is recognizing your helmet! Give it here!" Carlos quickly scrambled to pick up the fallen head gear. He handed it straight to James, swallowing when Logan flinched away from him.

James turned to his brother, who was focused on the helmet in James' hand. Gently, James set the helmet on the bed, before moving back.

Seconds, even minutes went by without any of the boys moving. Nothing.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Beep. Beep…Beep. Beep.

Beep…Beep…Beep…Beep…

Logan's heart rate was finally descending to a normal rate and he was the first of the boys to move. With trembling, bandaged hands, he reached for the helmet. Shaky fingers, brushed ever so lightly against the helmet, and curling around the helmet. The seven-year-old had picked up the helmet and was staring at it with big, wet eyes. Then ever so slowly, he held the helmet outward.

To _Carlos_.

At that moment Carlos' body and mind shut down. Everything was unresponsive with fear. _What did Logan want from him?_

The smile on James' face was growing larger by the second, at Logan's familiar actions. Carlos' eyes met his own for a second, leaving James to nod happily and hopefully brush back the terror.

"Take it, and put it on." James instructed quietly to his friend. Carlos' eyes widened in panic and he shook his head. However, James only nodded and encouraged Carlos to go ahead.

Carlos bit his lip, then _tip-toed_ over to Logan. Both boys were shaking and very hesitant, but neither one of them backed down. Gently, and very slowly, Carlos reached for his helmet. Logan instantly drew back, once the helmet was out of his hands, but he never took his eyes off of Carlos. He kept on staring and waited.

Carlos had placed the helmet back on to his head (where it belonged) and patted it twice. At this action, Logan shifted towards Carlos. The fear in his body was slowly being replaced by a calm sensation and _recognition_.

Carlos felt as if he could cry. Only this time, he wanted to cry for joy. He could feel his eyes watering and his throat tightening. Logan was _recognizing him._ Well his helmet, but _still_.

"Hi Logiebear." Carlos croaked with a shaky smile. Logan didn't flinch away or move this time; he just continued to stare at the helmet and _point_. "Yeah. That's helmet. You remembered helmet didn't you, Logiebear?"

James grinned proudly at the sight beforehand. He chose to glance over a Kendall and his mouth went dry. The blonde leader was staring at Logan with so much _hurt_ in his eyes, which were filling with tears. He seemed to be having an internal battle within himself, and it was breaking James' heart.

_Oh Kendall._ James thought sadly. _What could Logan recognize about Kendall? What did Kendall always do or have? _ James thought rapidly, scavenging his brain for anything of Kendall.

His eyes wandered to something in Kendall's back pocket, before an idea hit him in a full blown collision.

Quickly, but quietly, he made his way over to Kendall. He grabbed the item out of Kendall's back pocket, ignoring Kendall's look of surprise and protest, and yanked it on the blonde's head. Carefully he rearranged the hat, before pushing Kendall towards Logan and Carlos. By then, Logan's attention was caught by what was on Kendall's head and Kendall.

It was Kendall's _beanie_.

Once again no one moved, while Logan continued to stare at Kendall; eyes solely focuse3d on the beanie. Kendall fiddled with his fingers nervously, watching Logan stare right at him. It had felt like forever had passed (when in reality it had only be a few minutes), when Logan raised his right hand. He raised his hand right at Kendall and reached.

With a gentle push from James, Kendall stumbled toward Logan, stopping right before him and he knelt.

In the next second, Logan was brushing his fingers against the beanie, tracing the lines and shapes. His tears had stopped falling. Kendall felt his heart rate speed up when the _recognition_ and curiosity set in Logan's eyes. Then he spoke in a quiet voice.

"Hey Logie…"

* * *

By the time Dr. Kilduff, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond had come to Logan's room, the four boys were close together. Logan of course, was curled up away from the other three, but his eyes remained locked on the three eleven-year-olds.

James was seated at the foot of Logan's bed, chattering happily about some new hair product. He looked the most relaxed, either of his parents had seen in _years_.

Kendall was sitting in a chair in between James and Logan, smiling softly at James. His smile turned into a snort, before speaking to James.

Finally, Carlos was to James' left, with a smile so big and blinding, the adults couldn't help but smile.

The atmosphere of the room still held fear and sadness, but now a new emotion was rising.

_Happiness._

The Diamond parents opted to stay outside the room, just wanting to watch the four boys for a while. Dr. Kilduff agreed with a grin.

In the beginning Dr. Kilduff hadn't had any hope for his little Logan. But now, even if it was very small, he did have hope for the boy. He would hope and pray.

And it was all thanks to his brother and his friends.

They _could_ help him through this.

One day at a time.

* * *

**So I hope you guys are happy. I ended this chapter on a happier note. Decided to give you all a break from sadness and angst! But I liked this chapter, and I hope you guys did too. Now Kendall and Carlos can go in with James to be with Logan! Yay! I'm excited for the next chapter!**

**Anyhow, hopefully I'll be updating faster now but please just bear with me if I don't lol.**

**Anyhow, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Anything on your mind? Just leave it all in a review if you would, they make me grin even with a concussion! And again thank you all for your nice words!**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	14. 14 Return Home Again?

**So hey, hey. I'm back again. God we had so much homework, and work before and after Thanksgiving Break. It's ridiculous. And my concussion hasn't improved. Bleh.**

**Anyhow for those you who celebrate it, I hope you all had wonderful Thanksgiving! And ate A LOT of food! **** I know I did. And, it's been three years of BTR as of yesterday! Where has the time gone? So proud. I love Big Time Auditions…**

**Anyhow again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story, alerted it or faved it. It makes me inspired and so happy when those happen. So thank you! And to everyone who actually takes the time to view and read this story.**

**Disclaimer: It's been 14 chapters. Do I really need to say no matter how much I wish, I do not own BTR or make any money off them? I just draw them!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 14: Return Home Again?**

_January 11, 2007_

Time was passing by slowly for James Diamond and his family. It seemed like it was taking much longer for Logan to be released from the hospital for his physical injuries. In all honesty, James just wanted time to fly by at the moment, just until Logan could come back home with him. Then time could move slowly, so he could spend every minute with his little brother. After all there was much that was needed to be made up between the two after five years. So much to make up.

Ever since two days ago when Logan seemed to recognize Kendall's beanie and Carlos' helmet, the two boys had always followed James _into_ the room. For the past two days a sense of true relief and hope washed over the other two eleven-year-olds, and they could finally be with their Logan again.

It had felt like that missing piece to the puzzle had been found and put back into place. Seeing Logan again, seeing that recognition, made the boys realize how much they _needed_ Logan. Logan was the missing piece to their puzzle. He was the piece needed in their quartet to feel even remotely whole again. But still, the pieces all fit together now and the puzzle was almost finished; the pieces were _loose_.

Logan's evident fear and caution of the boys was still there every day they went to see the boy. Because of this, the pieces were all loose together, and didn't snap tightly into place. They wouldn't snap tightly together until Logan wasn't afraid anymore. The day Logan wouldn't be afraid, would be the day their puzzle of life was finally back together.

It was just going to take time.

James, Kendall and Carlos were currently inside Logan's room, seated in chairs at the foot of Logan's bed. Said boy was in his bed, leaning back against the headboard of his bed. His face was wary but calm as he watched James and the others.

"All I'm saying is it would be the best stunt yet." Carlos finished with arms over his chest. His helmet was strapped on securely to his head, where it belonged. Ever since two days ago Carlos had yet to take off his helmet, even at dinner and bed. In the past he did have a strange attachment to his helmet, but now that attachment was ten times greater. The only difference was that this attachment, held so much more meaning behind it.

"And all I'm saying is, it's stupid." Kendall argued with a small, playful glare. Just like Carlos, his beanie was on his head despite the warmer California weather out.

James snickered at the expression on Carlos' face. _And now here comes the retaliation._

"No it wouldn't be. I would have my helmet and you two would be there." Carlos protested, bottom lip sticking out in a pout. Kendall tried desperately to hide the smile on his face. He was only messing with the boy. It was a relief to Kendall to hear Carlos contemplating about dangerous stunts again. It had been so long, with everything happening, since he and Carlos had a "fight" like this one.

"Yes it still would be. I mean, come on Carlos, your plan is to attach rockets to your skateboard and go down Grayson Hill. The biggest hill in all of Minnesota. No way." Kendall shot back and coughed to hide his smile.

Behind the bickering knuckle-heads, James laughed quietly. This gathered the other's attention. Carlos grinned suddenly. You could see the light bulb going off in his head.

"James agrees with me. I _know_ he thinks this would be a great stunt to do. He would do it _with_ me!" Carlos declared over Kendall's protest. The blonde rolled his eyes, while James looked at Carlos with a ludicrous expression on.

"_Excuse me?!_"James asked. Logan turned his focus on his older brother, and cocked his head to the side. Kendall caught this from the corner of his eye and didn't even try to hide his smile this time. "When did I ever agree to this? Do you know what that would do to my hair?" When Carlos shrugged uncaringly, James sighed dramatically.

"It would be a disaster! All the wind and rocket fuel, my hair would be fried and frizzed. No way would I risk my hair for something that stupid." James stated arms over his chest with a serious expression. Carlos knew James was serious, and there was no point in trying to persuade the taller boy. Carlos tapped his chin in thought, eyes roaming around for something else.

"Oh!" He laughed joyously. "I know! Logie would agree it's a good idea! Don't you Logiebear?"

At this point all eyes had turned to Logan, who was frowning at the boys. His eyes were looking directly at Carlos, fear evident when everyone was looking at him. The expression on his face was frightened…and curious.

Yet, there was no answer to Carlos' question.

"Well Logiebear does agree. So now it's two on two, so ha!" Carlos stuck his tongue out childishly. His maturity level was just continuing to drop over the years.

"Yeah always agrees with his brother. So he would agree with me." James retorted back. He eyed Carlos daring the other boy to say something else.

"Still agrees with me. Sorry Jamie boy." Carlos laughed. The other's couldn't help but join in with the boy. It was just like old times; just fun and no worries. No heartbreak or trouble. Just James, Kendall, Carlos and Logan.

The three continued to laugh until a noise stopped them. Their laughter died in their thoughts immediately and they faced Logan. Logan was sitting up slightly straighter by now, and made the noise again.

A little squeak, from the back of his throat. He made the sound again and again. And again.

The youngest boy was watching all three of his friends, head tilted to the right, and right arm raised. He squeaked again.

"Logie? What is it Logie? What do you want?" James asked, sliding in right next to Logan. The younger brunette turned so he was facing James. He reached out with his right hand and patted James' cheek. He continued to pat the cheek, occasionally making that squeaking sound, leaving James perplexed.

"Logie? What do you want buddy? Can you tell me what you need or what you want?" James asked again. Still he received no answer.

From the other side of Logan, Kendall and Carlos stood next to the bed in silence. They were curious as to what Logan wanted, just like James was. A small smile played on Kendall's lips as he watched the interaction between the two brothers. Carlos giggled quietly at the look on James' face.

Logan snapped his neck to look at the other two so fast, the boys would swear they heard a crack. When Carlos giggled, Logan made the squeaking noise once more and pointed with his left hand. James was still confused, but he was also happy. For Logan's hand was still on his cheek, not going anywhere.

"_Oh,_" Kendall breathed quietly. James looked up and met Kendall's eyes, which had softened. "I think he wants to hear you laugh again James. All of us." Kendall explained. Carlos smiled a face-splitting smile and laughed. The laughter wasn't forced or pushed, sounding fake, but real and welcoming in. Once he started to laugh happily, he couldn't stop. It was as if all the laughter inside him was finally gushing out; long overdue.

James had to laugh along with Carlos. There was no way he couldn't have. Logan, _Logan_ wanted to hear their laughter. He _wanted_ to hear them again.

In the end all three boys were laughing out of joy, surrounding Logan who had faced his brother again with his small hand patting James' cheek.

"You want this Logie?" James managed between giggles with a whole-hearted smile.

Not one of the four boys noticed the three figures standing in the doorway, or Dr. Kilduff in the corner of the room. Kevin Diamond felt his heart soar at hearing James finally laugh again. It had been too long since he had heard his son's laughter. Now, it was a lifesaver to hear that laugh again.

Juan Garcia smiled behind his friends at the scene before them. Logan was a long way from recovery but he would get through this. There wasn't a spot of doubt in his mind that Logan would. The young boy would just need some extra help.

Brooke Diamond, however, pursed her lips eyes narrowed. No one noticed the look in her dark eyes that day.

* * *

_January 12, 2007._

"Dr. Kilduff?" The said doctor, turned to look at James when his name was called. James hesitated before speaking.

"Do you know when – when Logie can – can come home?" The old doctor sighed sadly. That was the question he was sure everyone had. But it was also the question he didn't want to exactly answer to an eleven-year-old. The kid had enough to worry about with his Epilepsy; he didn't need the stress of Logan's condition.

"Well," The doctor pondered a few moments for the right words. "Logan's injuries are healing quite nicely. There were no problems with his broken leg of arm. They've been set in casts and need to heal for 7 more weeks. All of his other wounds and injuries are no longer life-threatening and are healing as we hoped. In hindsight, he could go home in afew days," A spark of light flashed through James' eyes at the information. _A few days?Really? He could be home in a few days?_

Dr. Kilduff decided to leave out the fact that Logan's mental state would hold him back from returning home. The joy in James' eyes made his heart lurch in his chest. He couldn't break the happiness from the boy; he couldn't be the one to hurt James. Not after everything he's been through.

At that moment, Dr. Kilduff couldn't be more thankful to see James' parents walk into the room. He greeted both of them with a relieved smile. Kevin Diamond grinned, half-heartedly and ruffled his oldest son's hair. James whined and swatted away from his father to fix his hair. Brooke Diamond, however, remained focused on Logan – who was sleeping soundly in his bed.

"Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Diamond. I was just talking to James here about Logan." Dr. Kilduff explained. Kevin nodded with a soft smile, looking at James while Brooke remained where she was.

"Yeah, Dr. Kilduff here said that Logan would be able to go home in a few days!" James cried excitedly. The doctor's smile falter for a second but remained. Kevin raised an eyebrow at what James was saying. This was news to him.

"Ah, in a few days you say?"

"James, if you would, could you give your parents and I sometime to talk alone?" Asked Dr. Kilduff. James sighed, looking between Logan and his parents. No, he didn't necessarily _want _to leave Logan, but he could if they wanted.

"Um, how long wi –"

"James. Go outside now. Do as Dr. Kilduff said." Brooke barked at her son. Logan flinched in his bed – something that did not go unnoticed by his mother – while James jumped back. His eyes were widened in shock and fear at his mother, legs shaking a bit. Even Kevin had to stare at his wife with a ludicrous expression on his face mixed with a bit of surprise. _What had James done for her to snap like that?_ However, Brooke didn't look at either of them; instead she kept her eyes fixed on her youngest son.

"But – But mom –"

"_No_ _buts. Do. As. I. Say._"

James looked at his father for some sort of explanation or reassurance, but was disturbed to see the surprise on his own father's face. James all but ran out of the room, never turning around to face his mother.

_What was going on with her?_

* * *

"So she yelled at you?" Carlos gasped eyes wide as he bit into his corndog. James nodded glumly. He still didn't understand why his mother had acted the way she had. He figured she was stress of course, weren't they all? But she hadn't ever been that mad since the boys snuck to the hospital at first.

"Well, basically. She wouldn't even let me finish my sentences." James clenched his fist, kicking his feet out on the cafeteria table.

"Why though? She hasn't snapped at you in a while right?" James nodded to answer Carlos' question. The Latino was just as confused as James was. "I guess she was walking on a fine line and finally just got stressed. Maybe she didn't mean to snap, but I mean, you know how people get." He shrugged hopefully helping James in some way. James didn't even look over at Carlos; he just remained head down, with a frown on.

Kendall had been silent the whole time, eyes distant, and lost in his own thoughts about the problem. _Sure, she could have been stressed but that didn't make it right to yell at James. He hadn't even done anything wrong this time! He was just hanging in his room with his brother who he hadn't seen since he was six! Five years!_

Then, James stood up and walked away from the other two boys. He continued walking, frown evident, knowing Kendall and Carlos would be right behind him. He was so lost in thought, trying to figure out his mother, that he hadn't even realized she and his father and doctor were in the hall outside of Logan's room. That is, until he heard his mother.

"But I don't understand!"

James froze in his tracks behind the wall that separated him from his parents. He looked back at Carlos and Kendall to see their eyebrows raised and curiosity peaking. Quietly, the three peaked over the wall to hear what the adults were saying.

"It's just how he is. It's how his mind works." Dr. Kilduff began calmly.

"But why not _me_?! Of all peop;e, why doesn't _my_ son recognize his _own mother_?! _Me_?!" Brooke cut off the doctor sharply. "If he recognizes some people he _should_ recognize me!" James swallowed thickly as he heard Dr. Kilduff sigh. _So that's why she's upset._

"We don't exactly know. I've told you this. Trauma affects the mind and brain a numerous ways, and he's still so young –"

"That's exactly it! He's young! He hasn't been away from me _forever!_ I carried him for nine months, I gave birth to him, and I raised him for _god's sake!_ Why wouldn't he recognize me?!" Brooke just wasn't going to hear anything the doctor said. "That's _my_ baby in there! _Mine_! He should recognize who _I_ am! He _shouldn't_ be afraid of me at all!"

"I'm sorry. I know this is difficult, but can't you see he's making progress an –"

"Not _enough_ progress!" Argued Brooke.

"Brooke, please just calm down." Kevin spoke up finally. James saw his father try to put a hand on his mother's shoulder, only to have her brush it off.

"No Kevin," She growled. James was taken aback by this. "I will not calm down. Not when my baby is _still _afraid of _me_. I'm his mother! He should realize that love and bond between us! Why can't he see it?!"

Dr. Kilduff raised his hands up in a surrender position. "Mrs. Diamond, I know this must be heart-breaking, but you must understand what he's been through. Logan is _traumatized_ and God knows what's happened to him over the past five years. You must understand everyone scares him."

"Oh really? Then why isn't he afraid of _James_?" James' blood ran cold when his mother said his name; her voice laced with so much venom. "Tell me why he recognizes James _before _me! Why on _Earth_ would he ever recognize James before he would recognize who I was?!" James could feel his body becoming numb at each puncture of his mother's words. "Logan should remember who _I_ am, even his father, _first_! Not James!"

"Excuse me, Mrs. Diam –"

"No, don't say anything. Logan has to remember who I am! He _should_ have before James. He should have been screamingwhen _James_ came into that room on the 28th! It's not _fair_!" Brooke cried, tears running down her face. "I love Logan. He's my baby. I love him, why can't he recognize me _instead?_"

Time was slowing down for James. He didn't even attempt to hide behind the wall, when his father and the doctor saw him there. He didn't even move when their eyes widened and his mother stopped talking. He did, however, let a noise sounding like a choke and a sob, escape his lips. Fresh tears pricked in the corners of his eyes. But he refused to cry. Not now, not in front of _her._

"James…" Kevin started, but James wasn't hearing it. He turned on his heel, and ran as fast as he could in the other direction. "James!"

Kevin pushed past a stunned Carlos and furious Kendall, to chase after his oldest son.

Silence rang over the four remaining people when Kevin and James were no longer in sight. Kendall clenched his fists so tightly; he could feel his nails digging into his palms.

"What did you _do_?!" He suddenly shouted. Brooke flinched but the expression of sadness never left her face. "What is wrong with you? How could you even say those things about James? How could you hurt James like that?!"

"Kendall you wouldn't understand I –"

Now it was Kendall's turn to cut off Mrs. Diamond, like she had done to the doctor. "Don't even tell me I wouldn't understand! I've seen Logan! I've seen how terrified he is, of _all_ of us! I've seen Logan look at _me_ with absolute terror! I know it sucks! I know it's not fair! But you, you are just awful." By the last sentence furious, hot tears filled his green eyes. "James has seen his brother terrified! Terrified of _him_! Logan didn't magically remember him one day. No, he _recognized _something James did! But that's beside the point. The point here is you had no right to say those things about James. Can't you just be happy Logan _and_ James are alive and here?"

Brooke faltered during Kendall's shouting, opening her mouth like she wanted to say something. But nothing came out.

"Why can't you be happy for James?" Carlos asked quietly. Everyone turned to look at the solemn child. His head was down, looking at the ground, and his fists were clenched at his sides. "Hasn't James been through enough? Doesn't he deserve this? Doesn't he deserve to at least get to smile because his baby brother is alive, and recognizes him? _Doesn't he?!_" Carlos shouted the last sentence, surprising everyone. Carlos hardly got angry. He never yelled.

"Why couldn't you just be happy that Logan's alive? That James is happy? Don't you realize how much he's been through? How much this is wearing him out? All he wants is his brother back, and you couldn't even let him have that, could you?" The look of disgust on Carlos' face, made even Kendall cringe. But he agreed with Carlos' words, one hundred percent. The tow eleven-year-olds looked over at Mrs. Diamond one more time, before walking away.

They kept walking despite the sobs coming from Mrs. Diamond.

Because James was going to need them more than ever now.

* * *

**And ending it there. Daww, more drama. Lame I know, but I figured it would be a normal reaction for a mother to give after all the stress. Whether it was the right thing** **not…that is for you all to decide. Who's side are you all on? Haha.**

**Well next chapter will be pretty interesting with a bit less drama, but hey a character we all know is finally going to be appearing. **

**So thoughts? Comments? Ideas? Likes? Dislikes? Go ahead and drop anything off in a review please my dears!**

**Thank you and peace out! **


	15. 15 Welcome

**Hey! Sorry, this was meant to be up much sooner. But last week I was in the ER twice and it's just been a long couple of weeks since then. But I am back. And break starts at 12:30 next Thursday, so hopefully I can update much more! Yay!**

**Anyhow, if any of you like Kames slash or are interesting in a Christmasy story (with Logiebear) you could check out my new small story **_**All I Want Is You.**_

**So Thank you very much, again to everyone who has reviewed this story or faved or alerted it. It makes my day every time! And to all of you who take the time to read this story, again, thank you!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not make money off of Big Time Rush. Do not sue me.**

* * *

**Chapter 15: Welcome**

_January 12, 2007_

It was uncomfortable. It was more than that actually. It was uncomfortable, dark, and wet. Three things James did not want to be at all at the moment. But in hind's sight, this was better than going back _there._

_Anywhere_ was better than going back _there_. Back to where his mother would be.

James was currently curled up, knees to his chest, underneath a bench just outside the hospital while the rain was coming down by the buckets. So yes, he was cold, he was tired, he was wet and he was squished.

The only red flag in his mind was the fact that he had yet to cry. He'd been out in the rain for over forty-five minutes now, and he hadn't cried yet. Not even once. It was unusual. Despite how much he never wanted to be, James was very sensitive. He could easily be hurt by words alone and he cried more than most boys should. But he couldn't help it; as long as he could remember, he had always been a sensitive boy.

But now, he wasn't crying at all. And it did scare him, just a little. He was numb (defiantly), though that could also be due to the fact he was cold, rather than the fact that he was heartbroken. He'd rather go with that.

The only explanation James could come up with was, his mother was right in a way. No matter how upset he was or how much he disagreed with her, a small part of him knew she was right.

She _is_ Logan's mother after all. Of course those two would have their own unique bond. Of course, she was allowed to feel upset about this. Maybe…maybe he didn't deserve Logan's recognition yet…

"James? James? James!"

James looked up sluggishly to see who was calling for him. He blinked fuzzily, to see a blurry father running towards him. He tried to blink again, to clear his vision, but it was no use.

His father had finally reached him and knelt down to his crouched height under the bench.

"James! Christ, what are you doing? It's freezing out here!" The worry was evident and clear in Kevin's voice, as he shrugged off his own jacket. James barely registered a coat being wrapped around his body. It seemed his father's hands were – oh wait, _he_ was shaking. Not his father.

"I couldn't find you. I lost you down a hall a while back and I searched everywhere for you and I thought - I thought…I wouldn't find you. I was so scared James." James breathed heavily and sluggishly turned is head, when he heard the crack in his father's voice.

"S'rry." He mumbled into his knees. The expression on Kevin's face softened.

"Oh James," Kevin whispered gently. "It's fine really. I probably would have done the same thing if I were in your shoes. It's alright bud." When James didn't even budge, Kevin sighed in defeat. "James look…what you heard, it isn't the truth. Your mother was just upset; this whole situation is tough on her."

"I know." James said monotone.

"But James, you…you must know I don't believe that." James rolled his head to the side, to look at his father. "James, I'm not upset Logan recognizes you. Above anyone else. You and Logan…well, I wish you could have seen what you two looked like five years ago. You and Logan had something special James. And it made me…happy that special connection remained through everything. I'm just so glad that never went away.

"I never ever, believed you didn't deserve Logan's love; if anything you deserve it the most. I'm sorry you had you had to hear your mother say that James, I'm so sorry." Kevin pleaded. James blinked fuzzily.

"'S not your faul'." He mumbled, tired already.

"Still. You've been through so much James, and you're only eleven! No one your age should have to go through what you went through, or see what you saw. It's not fair." Kevin was aware he sounded much like a whining child then, but he ignored it. He wrapped the jacket tighter around James. "You _and_ Logan. Neither of you should have had to go through what you two went through. Neither of you boys ever deserved that. And I'm…I'm so sorry James. I'm so sorry James. It's my fault as a parent. This keeps coming back as my fault; none of this was ever yours James! I'm so sorry…I'm so…so sorry…" He choked out in a hoarse whisper by the end.

James fought to stay conscious, and force his sluggish brain to begin working now. He blinked rapidly, to clear the fog from his eyes and looked at his father. For a moment, James felt as if he was looking at himself; just an older version of himself. A trail of tears ran on either side of his father's cheeks, while his shoulders shook, hunched together in an arch like James had done so many times before. As if he was curling away from the pain and the world.

"Dad…" James murmured when his vision was finally clear. "'S not your fault. It's okay, really. You…you didn't…do anything wrong dad." James said quietly, reaching out with one hand towards his father. The older male, jumped at the sudden touch but felt his face melt when he saw James' comforting hand. "Don't be sad dad…_you_ haven't done anything wrong."

Kevin sighed shakily but wiped his face in the rain. "Oh James." He whispered. For a moment neither of the males spoke, just allowing the comforting silence to carry over them in order to collect their own thoughts. It was then that Kevin noticed how much James really was shaking, and the paleness in his skin was whiter than ever. "Come on bud, let's get you out of the rain and into something dry. Alright?"

James bit his lip and looked at his dad with a hint of fear. Kevin merely smiled.

"We wouldn't want you to catch a cold, would we? Then you wouldn't be able to see Logan. Besides, I don't think your brother would appreciate being wet when you go see him." At that moment James wanted nothing more than to leap into his father's arms and never let go; warmth was already spreading over the numb ice in his heart. If he had the energy he would have, but right now he was having trouble staying awake, let alone jump up.

Carefully James crawled out from under the bench, shivering and pulling the jacket tighter around him. His father grabbed his hand, helping to pull him to his feet. But once he was on his own two feet, James could feel himself swaying and wobbling, unable to stand up straight.

"Whoa bud, hang on." Kevin steadied the boy, never letting his hand go. "Come on, get on my back. There is no way you're going to be able to walk all the way into the hospital. Let's go." Kevin sighed and bent down. James made a small noise of protest which went ignored by his father who lifted him onto his back. Tiredly James let his head rest on his father's neck and closed his eyes.

_Just a few minutes of sleep…_

* * *

Kendall was starting to get very nervous. Actually that was an understatement. He was starting to get _scared_.

James was still nowhere to be found, and no one had any idea where Mr. Diamond was either. They didn't even know if James had been found yet, or if he was still all alone. Alone and hurting.

Kendall shook off the uneasy feeling and swallowed a large lump down his throat as they made their way back to Logan's hospital room. Carlos was silent next to Kendall; his arms wrapped tightly around his torso and head down. That was another thing worrying Kendall. His friend hadn't uttered a word since their speech to Mrs. Diamond, and Kendall found his silence nerve wracking. Anything would be better than this silence and worry. _Anything_.

Still, the two friends walked on in complete silence and rounded the corner to Logan's hospital room. The feeling of guilt was beginning to return to Kendall in the pit of his stomach when he glanced at Carlos for the hundredth time. In all honesty, Kendall felt absolutely sick to his stomach right now. He felt like he was going to throw up at any minute, if the worry and guilt didn't leave soon. Actually Kendall wished he could throw up; then maybe the nauseous feeling in his stomach would go away once his stomach was emptied.

But nothing was said between the two friends, and Kendall remained sick to his stomach.

He looked down the hallway, figuring he needed to turn his attention off of Carlos, only to be surprised. Surprised and beyond relieved. For heading into Logan's hospital room were none other than Kevin and James!

Although, James was lying on Kevin's back with eyes closed, faced white as snow, and he was currently wearing a hospital gown rather than his clothes. His hair was still dripping wet onto his gown and face, the same for Kevin. Now, Kevin was dressed in a pair of light green scrubs, doctors wore in the hospital._ What had happened?_

"Mr. Diamond? James?" Kendall whispered. Next to him, Carlos must have heard him, because the boy had snapped his head up from looking at the ground to look at what Kendall was looking at. "Mr. Diamond! Mr. Diamond!" Kendall cried and ran towards his friend and father; his nauseous feeling was momentarily forgotten. Carlos took not time to hesitate and was right behind him.

Kevin slowly turned around to look at the two boys currently running towards them, shifting the sleeping James on his back. He smiled softly at the concern Kendall and Carlos were showing for their fallen friend.

"Hello boys, I'm afraid you'll have to be quiet. James fell asleep and I think he really could use as much sleep as he could get right now." Kevin whispered. The two friends immediately stopped running and closed their mouths with a nod. Kevin nodded and turned back into the door way of Logan's room, only to stop momentarily by a sight in his peripheral vision.

Coming out of an office were Brooke and Dr. Kilduff. He stopped for a second, eyes' meeting Brooke's to see her red eyes widen at the sight of James. She opened her mouth to say something, _anything_, but Kevin shook his head and went in the room without another word.

As much as he wanted to hold the woman he loved and comfort her, she had messed up bad this time. And right now, James needed him more.

Kendall and Carlos had quietly followed Mr. Diamond and James into Logan's room, closing the door as quietly as possible behind them. Kevin glanced at Logan to see he was still sleeping in his bed, and breathed a sigh of relief.

He gently placed James down in the open bed opposite of Logan, careful not to wake wither slumbering boys. James sighed in his sleep when his head hit the pillow and he instantly snuggled deeper into the pillow. With a gentle smile, Kevin pulled the sheets of James and watched his son sleep.

Minutes ticked by without a single sound, besides the various machines and monitors hooked up to Logan.

"W – Where was he?" Kendall finally chose to break the silence in a whisper. Kevin sighed, feeling suddenly a hundred years older than he was, and promptly plopped down in a chair beside Logan.

"Outside, hiding under a bench in the rain. He's dead tired."

"I bet." Kendall cursed himself. He couldn't find the right words to say, to express how he was feeling. He couldn't even come to ask how James was. Instead all he could say was, 'I bet'. He felt like kicking himself in the shins for his inability to speak.

Carlos seemed to be perfectly able to speak now. "Is he going to be okay? Did anything else happen to him after you found him?" Kevin's gentle smile returned.

"Yes Carlos. He's going to be just fine. We got him into something dry, and warm. The doctors checked him out and told me he'll be just fine as long as he get's some rest. He's going to be okay." Kevin murmured softly, eyes still focused on the sleeping James.

"Good. That's good." Carlos said shakily. Without another word he pulled a chair up right next to James and sat down. Kevin turned his attention back to Logan.

Leaving Kendall standing in the middle of the room feeling absolutely useless.

Again.

* * *

_January 14, 2007_

When James came to again, there was sunlight streaming through the half-closed blinds of the hospital room. He blinked groggily, taking his time in waking up to gather his bearing. He registered the hospital gown on him, and the comfortable sheets of the hospital bed underneath him. After a few minutes, James was almost fully awake and looking around him.

_How long had I been asleep?_

He looked around the room to find four other people also in the room. His father was sleeping awkwardly in a chair next to the other hospital bed, while Carlos sat in his own chair right next to James, legs pulled up to his chest and head on his knees. Logan was sitting upright in his bed, staring straight at James with wide eyes. And Kendall was asleep in the corner of the room, face buried into his knees, snoring softly. What was–

_Logan_!

James turned his attention back onto Logan and did a double take. The younger boy was very much awake and watching James. James rubbed his eyes, wiping away any remaining sleep in his eyes and threw the covers over his bed. Quietly, on tip-toes, James made his way to Logan's bed.

Logan watched James the entire time he walked towards him. He shifted in the bed when James was right next to it. For a few seconds neither boy did anything besides stare into each other's eyes. That is, until Logan reached with a tiny fist onto James' hospital gown, then looked down at his own and back to James. The curiosity had returned to Logan's eyes, behind the hint of fear.

"This?" James whispered surprised at how hoarse his voice was. He tried clearing his throat before speaking. "Oh, I have to wear it because my old clothes are all wet Logie. But it's just like yours see?" He gently pointed to Logan's gown, watching the young boy look down and then back at James.

A small smile curled on James' lips as he nodded.

"Yep, we look the same huh bud?" The only response Logan gave was tilting his head to the side. But it was enough for James.

"_James!_" James was snapped out of his thoughts with Logan at the sound of his name being cried by Carlos. The cry had alerted both Kevin and Kendall into waking up quickly. Those two jumped to wake up while Carlos wrapped his arms around James in a tight hug. Caught off guard, James and Carlos went tumbling to the floor beside Logan's bed.

But James couldn't help but laugh at his friend's behavior.

"Hey 'Litos. How's it going?" He asked. Carlos' eyes met James' own in disbelief.

"You're asking, how I'm doing? You were the one in the rain for almost and hour and have been asleep for almost two whole days!" James winced at that. _Two days?!_ "No, it's how are _you_ doing James?" Carlos asked quietly still not letting James go.

James pondered for a few minutes to himself. He decided to answer honestly. "Well, much, _much_ better. Really. That sleep defiantly refreshed me and helped me. And now I feel better." James said. Carlos' shoulders relaxed at James' words and he smiled for the first time in two days.

Behind them, Kevin was upright in his chair, smiling at the two while Kendall stood back with a relieved smile of his own. He wanted nothing more than to keep James smiling like he was now; to hear those words of truth from James just made everything that much better.

"That's great. I'm glad you're okay. We were so worried about you." Carlos explained. "All of us, but right now I'm just glad you're better after everything." Then Carlos smiled the biggest smile he could, and hugged James again.

"Thanks 'Litos." James smiled back. The two boys finally let go and helped each other up off the ground. James glanced at Logan before facing his father and Kendall.

"Hey James." The relief in his father's eyes made James' heart beat faster. To see his father happy again, after everything, helped his own smile to grow. The brunette flashed his dad a pearl white smile and waved. With a laugh Kevin waved back from where he was.

Finally James faced his other best friend. The smile on his lips faltered for a second when Kendall looked so hurt and broken, but the expression was gone from Kendall as fast as it came. And a grin replaced his frown.

"Thank god you're okay." Kendall said softly. His hands were stuffed in his pocket and his shoulders were slouched. James had to smile back, and opened his arms wide.

"Aren't you going to give me a hug?" He asked. A shaky grin escaped from Kendall and the blonde engulfed James into a tight hug. The two remained that way for a few minutes, never wanting to let go.

No words were exchanged between the two.

But then again no words needed to be said. As long as everything was alright.

It took nearly ten minutes but James and Kendall had finally broken away. Just in time for Dr. Kilduff to walk in with…Brooke Diamond. Immediately the atmosphere of the room turned cold.

James stiffened at the sight of his mother, eyes locked onto her bowed head. For a split second her words rang through James' min, quickly taking over. Until, two hands grabbed his shoulder in comfort.

Carlos and Kendall.

And just like that he relaxed and her words no longer ran through his mind. They boys kept their distance from Brooke, who was standing behind Kevin, looking anywhere but James, Kendall and Carlos.

Dr. Kilduff smiled at James. "Good morning James. I see you are doing much better." James nodded at the doctor. "Excellent. We'll want to take just some precautionary vitals later today of you, but other than that you may return back with your family whenever." James grinned but then bit his lip.

"Um, Dr. Kilduff," He began slowly. "When will Logie be able to come home with us? As in back to Minnesota?" He asked in a quiet voice. He watched as the doctor sighed and glanced back at Logan. By now, Logan had curled himself into a ball away from all the people in his room, silently trembling.

"Well physically, all of his wounds have healed to the point where he could be released from the hospital today." Dr. Kilduff said tiredly. James' eyes brightened with hope for a second. "But his mental stability is no where near that of a normal boy his age. He's still very much traumatized and hasn't spoken a word since being brought here. As a professional, I would say there's no way Logan would be ready to get on a plane to Minnesota now. Not with that many people in the airport, on the plane and such." The hope in James' eyes diminished completely.

"There isn't much that we as _doctors_ in the hospital can do for him. So I would say he could go home, but I very much doubt he would cooperate enough to take that flight home." Dr. Kilduff went on much to James' fear. "Although, in my opinion I believe it would be beneficial for Logan if he was in an environment he knows. Such as his house and the town. He needs to be around familiar sights in hopes of opening his long-term memory to realize he is safe and _home_."

"Well Dr. Kilduff, what do you propose we do?" Kevin asked hopefully. For a while the doctor did not answer Kevin. Instead his gaze was only on Logan.

"Well, maybe if we can sedate Logan enough so he remains asleep, you could drive back to Minnesota. While he sleeps the entire trip; this way he won't be awake and terrified of leaving. And so he won't be around crowds just yet." James, Kevin, Carlos, Kendall and Brooke all sucked in their breath hopefully. "This could be the best way to transport him to a hospital in your town and we can set him up there. That way he'll be able to return home quicker. Besides I'm sure you all are ready to go back home, right?"

Five nods.

"We could set you up with myself in the back of one of the hospital vans, this way I can monitor him the whole trip and check vitals. All of the Diamonds could ride in that van, obviously one of you would have to drive, and the others could take a flight home." Continued Dr. Kilduff with a soft smile. James beamed. "Though, it could be good if we could get officer Garcia to give us a police escort to be there quicker."

"I – I'll go talk to him." Brooke whispered and hurried out the door.

James' eyes were bright and shone like never before at Dr. Kilduff. "Do you really mean it? Can Logan really come home with us today?" There was so much hope in his voice; so much life.

"Yes." Dr. Kilduff said. "But he won't be going 'home' just yet. We want him equipped in the hospital by your home for a few more days to get him used to this new place, and so he won't freak because he is no longer in a hospital room. He's gotten used to one, so it would be better if he woke up in a hospital room than a house.

"Also, I know a physiatrist in Minnesota who is very good at what he does. He's won of the best and I want him to work on Logan's case." Kevin nodded eternally grateful for the man who was brining his youngest son back home.

"Of course, yes. Please give him a call." Kevin said, heart soaring by now. James jumped up and down happily latching onto Kendall and Carlos. Together the three boys laughed out loud and cried,

"Logiebear's coming home! Logiebear's coming_ home_!"

* * *

_St. Paul, Minnesota._

"Hello? This is Secretary Kelly." A young, dark skinned, African American woman spoke into her head set quietly. Her fingers were speedily typing away on the computer before her. Her eyes focused on the file just sent to her. Her heart broke for a moment as she read the file and listened to the caller.

"Ah yes of course Dr. Kilduff I patch you right through to him. One second." She said and pressed the 'hold' button on the phone. "Sir, Dr. Kilduff is on line one about the Diamond kid."

In the office behind her a rather larger man, sat at his desk with eyes closed. His orange sunglasses slid down to the tip of his nose, as he shook his head with a yawn. "Send him through Kelly."

After a moment of static a doctor's voice filled the phone by the man's ear. "Hello Dr. Kilduff." The man shifted to sit properly in his seat so he could face his computer. He opened the files that had been sent to him from Kelly and examined the patient. "Huh, this is that Diamond kid? Says he's only seven-years old."

"Ah yes sir. Yes, all of his files are here and the notes you have made." The man grinned and leaned back in his chair. "Of course I'll take him. He'll be perfectly normal by the time I'm finished with him." He paused to listen to the other person on the line before chuckling. "Ah but Dr. Kilduff I could _cure_ a _dog_ if brought to me with mental issues. Any kind of_ dog._"

With a smirk the man pulled his sunglasses off and spoke with nothing but confidence. "Don't you worry Dr. Kilduff. I am the best after all. I am_ the_ Gustavo Roque after all."

* * *

**Phew ending it there. So…Gustavo…I am soooo totally excited to bring his character in this. I figured with his attitude he could be the best candidate for the new doctor/physiatrist. Did anyone guess it would be him?**

**What do you guys think of this chapter? Sorry it's kind of a filler but I made it longer for you guys. Over 4,000 words. Wow. Are you all ready for Logan to come home? Are you ready for Gustavo Roque? **

**Thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please drop off a review of any kind, please! Alright?**

**Thanks and peace out!**


	16. 16 Knowing You

**Hey so I do realize it has been quite some time since I last updated this story. No, I did not forget about it! Le gasp, I never could! But I was working on a holiday story over break and this last week. I just wanted to finish it and have it up. If you like Kames slash and little kid Logan, you could check it out if you'd like ;). It's called **_**All I Want Is You**_**.**

**Anyhow, once again Thank you to all who review the chapters for this story. I apologize it has been a while. And thank you to all those who alert or fav this story or both! It makes me so happy!**

**Now, I apologize for spelling/grammatical errors. I still have a concussion and sadly I don't catch all my mistakes.**

**So, enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 16: Good Improvement**

_January 15, 2007_

James swung his legs back and forth in anticipation while he waited for the time to pass by, so that 8:00 would arrive finally. He fiddled with his thumbs as he stared at the clock, willing with all his might that the time would move faster. Sadly, no matter what he tried the clock continued to tick at it's normal and _slow_ pace.

Just twenty-five more minutes.

James looked around the empty hotel room his family had been staying at. In just under twenty-five minutes, the room would be empty and they would be long gone from the hotel. James sighed as he felt lonesome. Kendall and Carlos had gone home on a plane last night, with both of their families. It was easier for them to get home, because the Diamond family would be driving alone. James missed Kendall and Carlos right now. Those two could help him to make the time go quicker or they could ease his worrying mind. The only one who remained was Papi Garcia. He would be allowed a patrol police car to escort the van with the Diamond family to the hospital in their hometown.

James only sighed once more. Kendall and Carlos _weren't_ here. Only his mother and father were. James cringed slightly upon thinking of his mother. After what happened a few days ago, James always felt the need to cringe or flinch at his mother's name.

He wasn't angry with his mother (that wasn't true, he was a tiny bit angry at her) really. Instead, James was _scared_ of his mother now. Scared and sad.

His mother's words had taunted and plagued his mind every time he went to sleep, or when he was around her alone; those words even came to his mind _every_ time James went to see Logan. No matter how hard James tried, those words never left his mind alone. And it just made him sad.

He was scared because he didn't want his mother to repeat her words or even come up with something new to say, something that would be much worse. James was scared his mother would hurt him again and again.

So, James did what he thought he should do. He _avoided _his mother. It was very rare to see James around his mother now. It was even rarer to see James _alone_ with his mother. James would be seen alone with his father, but hardly ever with his mother. He figured if he avoided his mother, then there was no way she could say any other cruel words to him or around him. Anytime James was around his mother, he fell into a mute shell and didn't say a word to his mother. He hadn't spoken to his mother in three days and it was only helping James. If he didn't talk to her, she wouldn't talk to him and no harsh words would be exchanged.

To James, that was a win.

Once James looked up at the clock, his eyes widened and a small grin covered his face. "It's eight o'clock! Come on, it's time to see Logie! It's eight o'clock!" James cried and leaped to his feet. He walked excitedly to the bathroom, where his mother and father were finishing getting ready. Kevin looked at his excited eleven-year-old son in the doorway and grinned at the boy.

It was so nice to see a smile on James' face after everything he'd been through. Kevin's heart and spirit lifted as he laughed and left the bathroom.

"Alright, alright settle down. We're coming." Kevin said softly and messed with James' hair. His smile only widened when James whined loudly and fixed his hair. _There's my James…_

Brooke emerged from the bathroom, dressed and ready to go. Once she entered the room, a heavy blanket of tension spread across the room. It was as if someone had switched a flip in the room, from happiness to sorrow.

Kevin saw James move closer to the door, eyes casted downward for a moment. He felt his heart break a bit at the sight of his son so upset and so_ afraid_. He never would have guess that Brooke, James' _mother_, would cause this pain in James. Kevin was torn between his wife and his son. He looked to see a solemn expression on Brooke as she tried to busy herself with the suitcases.

He loved his wife, oh he defiantly did. No matter how much he fought, he knew he would always love Brooke. That's why he married her. Of course, he was upset Logan had been hurt and damaged so much. Of course he was hurt Logan hardly recognized either of them. His own _parents_. Of course all these things diminished Kevin's happiness and made him felt like he had fallen into a deep, black hole.

And to see Brooke hurting so much, nearly killed him everyday. He wanted nothing more than to help Brooke and to bring up her heavy heart.

But he also couldn't forgive her for what she had done to James. Kevin knew Brooke would never say anything she had said three days ago _in front _of James. He also knew Brooke didn't mean most of it. But she still hurt their son – their son who was in pain and hurt every single day for his brother. Kevin knew he should forgive but he couldn't for two reasons: Brooke had really hurt James that day and, she had yet to apologize to James.

This angered Kevin and it was defiantly why he couldn't forgive her. Brooke hadn't apologized once to James over the past three days. She never told James she was sorry for what she had said and that she didn't mean anything. Out of all the time Brooke had, she never spent any of it apologizing to James. That infuriated Kevin.

He and Brooke still talked with one another and hugged and comforted each other, but he knew James hadn't spoken a word to Brooke. Kevin knew Brooke was hurting by that but he couldn't bring himself to feel sorry for his wife. This had been her fault, and she needed to apologize to James on her own.

Kevin sighed as he saw his wife leaving the room with one suitcase and James leaving with a backpack. He grabbed the last suitcase and headed out of the hotel room

He could only hope that everything would work out. For Brooke, and for James.

* * *

James was the first one to enter Logan's hospital room that morning, half an hour after eight. While his parents helped to load their suitcases in the van, James had went straight to Logan's room alone.

Upon entering the room, James' heart felt lighter and happier to find Logan already awake. He smiled brightly at Logan and waved at the seven-year-old first. Logan blinked at James, relaxing in his bed and turned his head.

James took that as his cue to come and sit next to Logan. He pulled one of the chairs in the room, right next to Logan's bedside and sat down. James watched Logan's brown eyes flicker to him and then to the doorway once more.

Realization spread through James. He knew what Logan was doing, or _who_ Logan was looking for. Gently, James smiled and waited for Logan to look back at him. Once Logan did, James began to explain.

"Sorry Logie, Kendall and Carlos won't be here today. They had to go…with their families." James said softly. He decided it was better to not tell Logan to truth about where everyone was; where _they_ would be going. Just in case Logan got scared or upset.

Even though Logan's facial expression didn't show it, James knew Logan was upset. He could see the sadness and even disappointment in Logan's innocent eyes and James' heart hurt.

"I'm sorry Logie. But don't worry. After you wake up again later, Kendall and Carlos will be right here with me, okay?" James wasn't expecting an answer. Rather he was looking for the answer in Logan's eyes. The sorrow remained but the disappointment left, and that was the only sign James found that Logan had understood him. "Don't worry; they'll be here before you know it! Until them, I'm going to be with you.' James beamed once more. Logan cocked his head to the other side and blinked.

"Anyway, do you know what Carlos tried to do yesterday when we got back to the hotel?" Still no answer, but now James wasn't bothered by it. "Well, he tried to go down the stairs. Now this is Carlos we are talking about, so of course he couldn't go down the stairs the _normal_ way. No instead he took a tray from out food and tried to _slide_ down the stairs…" James laughed and gently continued with his story.

The smile remained on his face because Logan never once looked away from him as he told his story of Carlos. His heart swelled and his eyes finally brightened.

It was another forty-five minutes before Dr. Kilduff and their parents entered the room. Logan of course had jumped when the door opened, and he immediately cowered away from the three adults. James whispered softly to Logan and remained right next to him.

Well, good news. The van is set to go now, with your belongings and mine. Mr. Garcia is waiting in the patrol, so we can leave here very soon if you all are ready." Dr. Kilduff announced with a gentle smile. His smile widened slightly, when James' own smile became bright enough to light up the entire room.

"We're ready?" James asked eagerly. His jumped to his feet and nodded vigorously. "I'm ready! So are my mom and dad! Right?" James quickly turned to his parents with pleading eyes and clasped hands. Kevin chuckled and Brooke said nothing.

"Yes, of course we are all ready." Kevin said, nodding to Dr. Kilduff. The man swiftly left the room for a moment, to gather that last item he needed. Once Dr. Kilduff left James had looked back to his little brother, still grinning.

"Are you ready to go home Logie? It's time, it's time." The laughter bubbled in James' chest before bursting out his mouth in soft periods. Logan squeaked quietly when James was laughing and raised his hand to James. James nodded and leaned in with a brilliant grin. "It's time to go home, Logie." He whispered as softly as he could.

It was then that Dr. Kilduff entered the room with a small syringe in his hands with clear liquid inside of it. James flinched for a moment at the syringe but looked back down at Logan who was still staring at him and had now placed his small hand on James' cheek.

"This is just sleeping medication that I put into the IV so Logan will remain asleep during the ride. I just put it through the IV and it flows with the water into Logan's bloodstream. After about five minutes Logan should be fast asleep." Dr. Kilduff explained in a quiet voice. James nodded and forced a grin towards Logan. "If you could James, keep Logan's focus on you so he won't see what I am doing. Logan tends to panic when he see's us with a syringe or needle when he's awake."

James nodded firmly and set on his task. He forced a laugh to come from him and he beamed to Logan. The little boy blinked and kept his gaze on James' laughing face. He patted James' cheek a few times with soft pats.

"Aright, good. I just need to flush his IV so some water can flush the medicine into his system." Dr. Kilduff spoke up. James continued to laugh softly so Logan's eyes remained on him. From the edge of his vision, James saw Dr. Kilduff move away from Logan signaling he was done.

Logan frowned suddenly and blinked. He looked down at his chest and placed a hand on it. James swallowed and understood the feeling Logan was currently having. He knew the medicine was being flushed through his entire body making his chest and body tingly for a bit. He knew Logan's chest felt weird as the medicine was pumped through his heart.

It was then that Logan's eye lids began to flutter. The brunette child gently fell back onto his pillow as his eyes dropped lower. James smile softened as he watched drowsiness cloud Logan's eyes and his eyelids fell lower.

"Good night Logie." James whispered and Logan finally closed his eyes as he succumbed to slumber. Logan's eyes remained close but his chest rose and fell as he breathed in and out. James breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing Logan's chest moving. He couldn't help but fear Logan would die every time he closed his eyes. James knew it was a silly fear and something he felt stupid before feeling but he couldn't control his.

This irrational fear always came to James and it would remain with James until Logan was healthy again and back _home_.

James watched in the next thirty minutes as Dr. Kilduff and two of Logan's nurses began to unhook Logan from the various machines and his IV. He stood back next to his father, so he wouldn't be in their way, but he kept his gaze firmly on Logan's form.

Once Logan was finally unhooked from everything the nurses left with is IV while Dr. Kilduff loaded Logan onto a stretched with the help of another doctor. Logan never awoke and he never moved once through the entire process.

It was only when he was about to enter the van with Dr. Kilduff and Logan set up in a bed in the back, did it finally hit James.

They were going home.

They were going _home_.

_With_ Logan.

His mother and father were both already seated in their seats in the front with his father driving. Every now and again his mother would glance back to look at the sleeping Logan and James. James climbed in through the back and took one of the side seats in the van, next to Dr. Kilduff and across from Logan.

Other nurses had closed the back doors of the van. Without hesitation the police car in front of them started as did their van. It was time to head back to Minnesota.

For good this time.

* * *

_January 16, 2007_

James didn't remember how long they had been driving in the van; all he knew was that they still weren't in Minnesota yet.

The sky was a splash of reds, oranges and purples as the morning son crept in the East. Rays of light broke through the darkness as night began to diminish into day. James had fallen asleep just when the sky was turning black and now he awoken just as the black was leaving. He blinked tiredly and yawned. James stretched his stiff back, shifting in his seat to awaken his legs and feet. James' eyes traveled across the van, looking at everyone in the van. He noticed now his mother was driving the van, while his father slept in the passenger seat with his head against the window. They must have stopped and switched their seats some time when James was asleep.

James looked at Dr. Kilduff and Logan next. The doctor was also awake and monitoring Logan, who was still sleeping, with a soft expression. A hint of a smile graced James' lips when he took in sight of his sleeping little brother. When Logan was asleep he finally looked peaceful and with out fear. His face was completely relaxed and a tiny, _tiny_ smile had curved the corners of his lips upward. James' heart beat quickened at the sight of a peaceful Logan, who wasn't in pain or terror at the moment.

James could only wish Logan could always look like this.

_Someday._ James thought to himself. He looked back at the doctor who was not writing down on his pad. Suddenly, James cleared his throat.

"Uh, Dr. Kildduf?"

The doctor started at his name and looked at James quickly. His eyes crinkled with emotion as his facial expression softened towards James. "Ah, good morning James. I see you've woken up finally." James felt his ears start to burn in embarrassment.

"Ah yes." James rubbed the back of his neck. "Um, how long have we been driving? Do you know where we are?" James had tried to look for signs outside his window, to indicate where they were exactly. But unfortunately, he hadn't come across any signs yet.

"Oh yes. We are about to enter Minnesota, from North Dakota." Dr. Kilduff explained, putting his pad down for the moment. "We've been driving for about 17 or so hours I believe. Your mother said it's only about an hour before we arrive in your hometown."

James' spirits instantly lifted on the thought of being so close to home. To be back in Minnesota with Kendall, Carlos, their families, his family and now once again, with _Logan_. He couldn't help but smile and look towards his sleeping brother. It seemed that all those years of wishing had finally paid off for James.

Finally, he would have his brother back.

It actually took less than an hour before James' mother pulled the van into the emergency space of the local hospital. This was the same hospital James, Kendall and especially Carlos had been in numerous times in their life for injuries. Some of the staff actually knew the boys well, due to their mayhem and injuries. This was also the very same hospital Logan had been born in seven years ago, and where James had made his promise to his brother.

This time he intended to _keep_ that promise.

Dr. Kilduff had called the hospital to those who knew of Logan, to announce their arrival about thirty minutes ago. So James wasn't really surprised to see three doctors and a nurse waiting by the doors when they parked the van. The fours medical experts made their way to the back of the van to open the doors.

James tuned out Dr. Kilduff and the other doctors and nurse, when they conversed together. His entire gaze and focused was remained on his brother as he was carefully lifted out of the van and onto a bed. He stared intently at Logan's sleeping form when he flinched slightly when being moved. He pushed past the nurse so he could stand right next to Logan. He didn't care if these were trained doctors, he wasn't about to leave Logan alone for a second. And so help them, if anyone tried to hurt Logan.

He didn't even bother to listen as his mother and father began to talk with the other three doctors and Dr. Kilduff about Logan and the plans. His hearing drowned out all the voices while his vision stayed on Logan. Logan and James were alone while everyone else talked with one another.

James looked at Logan's sleeping and peaceful face, before gently stroking Logan's pale cheek with his thumb. Gently he pressed a kiss to the sleeping child's forehead.

"Don't worry Logan. You're safe now." James whispered in a quiet but knowing voice.

* * *

_Pain. Pain. All he knew and could feel was only pain. There was so much pain. He couldn't handle it; he couldn't take it. He didn't _want_ it._

_The pain was a burning feeling all across his back and his chest. His head was exploding with an agonizing headache and his eyes stung with fresh tears. The cuts on his cheeks burned when his salty tears rolled across them._

_He could hear himself crying out once more as the burning in his back increased. That's all that he seemed to be doing. Crying. Begging. Even pleading for the pain to stop. For _them_ to stop. But they wouldn't. They never stopped._

_They always continued. They always continued to hurt him, hit him, and burn him. Everyday it was the same pain over and over again. He couldn't remember any other kind of feeling besides the endless pain that came to him everyday. Please make it stop. Please make it stop._

_He cried harder when he felt a swift kick to his rib cage. His sobs became louder but still they did not stop. He began to scream in pain and fear. He screamed and screamed for them to stop; for the pain to stop. Screaming. Screaming. Screaming._

_Always screaming._

"Logan! Logan!"

_He ceased his screaming for a second at the sound of his name. The pain lingered on and more kicking came to his back and ribs. Logan couldn't stop crying in pain and fear. But that voice. He knew that voice._

"Logan, please! Logan it's okay. Wake up! Logan!" _He opened his blurry eyes and his vision swam and swayed with tears and agony. He blinked once more as the voice continued._

_Ever so slowly, the pain was decreasing. The kicks were disappearing one by one, until only one person was kicking Logan. He cried out once more when a kick was delivered to his broken ribs. His eyes instantly closed with pain and his sobs began once more._

"Logan, you're safe now! It's okay Logie!"

"Come on Logie, he's right! You're okay! Wake up!"

"Please Logiebear, it's okay!"

_He couldn't help but open his eyes once more as two new voices came along with the same voice as before. A sob choked in his throat as he strained to listen. It was then that he realized the kicking as stopped. But the pain was still burning all across his body. He struggled to keep his eyes open to listen to the voices._

"Please, Logie wake up. Wake up. Please wake up."

You're safe now Logie. Just wake up."

"Yeah Logiebear it's okay."

_He wanted to believe the voices. God he really wanted to but everything still hurt so much. Only, those voices sounded so…hurt. The voices sounded so lost. They weren't like the voices he heard everyday with this pain. Those were gruff, loud, venomous and shrilling. But these voices…they were soft, gentle, loving and pleading._

_Why were they pleading to him? Logan blinked to keep his eyelids open when they dropped lowly. Slowly, the pain in his chest and back was numbing until he could no longer feel the pain._

_"_Please Logie, wake up. Please."

_He knew that voice. He knew that voice so well. Even those other two voices, he knew them! He recognized those voices. They were people who _loved _him. But who?_

_Who were they?_

_He could feel his eyelids beginning to close, despite how much he tried to remain awake. He wanted to hear those voices again. He wanted to hear that one voice call his name once more. He just wanted to hear that voice once more._

_"_Wake up Logie. Wake up." _With that he finally closed his eyes once more and succumbed to darkness._

_In the mist of the darkness he could feel that he hadn't fallen asleep. He could still think and talk, but his eyes were closed. It was in that moment, that a small white light filled the corners of the darkness. The light was getting closer to him and becoming brighter and brighter. Until he was finally blinded by the bright, white light and he closed his eyes once more._

_Once his eyes open a person came into view._

Once he finally opened his eyes, the face of that voice he knew so well, came into his field of vision. He blinked once but that brunette boy was still there, looking down at his with concerned eyes.

His eyes had opened to that person who loved him. Logan finally remembered who he recognized.

That, was his big brother.

* * *

**And ending there. Welp, I sure liked this chapter. Well, okay only the ending. I did like writing that; it was fun and different to write. Plus I finally got to write in Logie's POV! Yay! I can't wait to do it some more.**

**So how did you all like this chapter? Did you like Logie's POV even though it was partially a flashback to his painful past? Yeah…**

**Also with the weird feeling of the IV and medicine, at least to me, it was a weird feeling. When they give you medicine through the IV and flush your system. It really does feel weird. At least to me it does, haha.**

**So please, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Please drop off your thoughts in a review, long or short! They always make me smile! ;)**

**So I'm hoping to maybe update again tomorrow, if not on Monday then! So, review!**

**Thanks and peace out! **


	17. 17 Remembering Me

**Wow, I am so very freakin' sorry it has taken me this long to update. Just wow. I do have some excuses but I'm not going to waste your time trying to explain myself. I'm just going to say sorry and hope you all will forgive me.**

**I do must say this chapter was very hard to write and I don't know why. I had to stop writing or redo it like a hundred times and I am still not satisfied. I don't even know why. But just note that I did put a lot into this chapter so hopefully you all like it? *awkward laugh***

**And awww bummer, BTR didn't win the KCA's ****. Some say it was rigged, I personally don't know and would rather not get involved in that war. I just hope it was not rigged for the sake of our hard working boys. Oh well.**

**I hope all you readers are doing fabulous. And thank you to everyone who is still sticking around with this story. I am amazed some are. But THANK YOU! ;)**

**Disclaimer: See, I did own BTR I really did. But then I lost the rights during a gambling bet…..**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter 17: Remembering Me**

_January 16, 2007- Minnesota_

James had been by Logan's bedside since early this morning when Logan had first arrived. His parents had forced him to sleep at some point during the day, threatening him with not being able to see Logan if he didn't sleep. James only complied after the threat from his father; he didn't pay any attention to his mother. He'd slept for about eight whole hours, regaining energy from the much needed sleep. But right after that he'd been back to being at Logan's sleeping side.

Unfortunately their first day back in Minnesota couldn't go without a problem. Logan did have a nightmare during the day when James finally woke up. Though this nightmare seemed to be much worse than any nightmare James had ever seen. Logan was thrashing, kicking, _screaming_ and crying in his sleep. But the worst part was that, Logan _wouldn't_ wake up. No matter what James tried.

Words of comfort didn't work. Careful pleads didn't work. Not even trying to touch Logan. Nothing woke the seven-year-old up. He just continued with his violent nightmare scaring everyone. Not even the combined force of James, Kendall and Carlos could wake Logan up. Not Brooke or Kevin or even Dr. Kilduff either.

It seemed like Logan wouldn't wake up.

Until finally he did. After James had begun to _beg_.

"Wake up Logie. Wake up."

With a startled and strangled gasp, Logan's brown eyes shot open. His eyes were wide with obvious terror and bloodshot with unshed tears. Face deathly white, Logan's mouth remained opened in a silent scream when his eyes darted around the room. James was leaning over Logan's face, dangerously close to Logan's frantic face. His own face was a mask of sorrow and fear.

Finally Logan's eyes locked on to James' own eyes. Logan blinked once at James, while James continued to stare silently at his little brother. For long, agonizing minutes, nothing happened and no one spoke a word. The only sound that filled the hospital room was Logan's erratic pants.

James watched fearfully as emotions passed through Logan's eyes. Many emotions. Emotions that James hadn't quite seen on Logan since they had found him; in fact these were very unfamiliar emotions but yet, James knew he had seen them before.

But, where?

It was just when Dr. Kilduff was about to interfere and speak up from the corner of the room, when Logan finally made a move. With trembling fingers, Logan reached his right hand out towards James. James held his breath, eyes widening but he dared not to move. The trembling never stopped in Logan's fingers, but finally his fingers touched James' cheeks. They were light as a feather, barely grazing against James' skin but he felt it all. He could feel every touch Logan made, no matter how light it was.

Logan's fingers trailed across James' cheeks, while his eyes roamed across all of James' features, filled with uncertain emotion. James' gaze never left Logan's. Neither boy spoke or moved any further. It was as if they had gone into their own little world. As if, only they could understand what was happening in that moment. Only James and Logan.

Finally, James took a shuddering breath, careful to not scare Logan. "Logie?" He whispered, voice laced with fear. Logan's brown eyes darted across James' face until they stopped once reaching James' eyes. Another flicker of emotion passed through the younger brother's eyes before his touch became firmer on James' cheek.

James didn't understand.

* * *

_January 18, 2007_

"It might be good to start regaining memories." Dr. Kilduff murmured that morning to Brooke and Kevin. Kevin looked thoroughly confused by the doctor's statement. Brooke simply looked skeptic by his words. "I mean, I believe it is time to start introducing Logan to things that he _was_ familiar with. That way, maybe his memories can come back to him. This will maybe help to 'jumpstart' his memory bank. It'll just help him get better. And I believe now is the time to start.

"His physical wounds are healing just as we had hoped and wanted. There's not much left except to wait for them to fully heal and physical therapy." He continued quietly. Kevin nodded slowly, rubbing his chin in thought. For a moment, Brooke looked hopeful and a spark filled her eyes. "Which means, it is time to start healing him emotionally and mentally. It's going to be the hardest to heal, I won't lie. And it may…it may never fully heal."

"You're lying."

All three adults snapped their attention to the sudden voice. It was quiet but also deadly serious. Without a hint of doubt. Only slight anger.

James sat in a chair next to Logan's bed, facing sideways to the doctor and his parents. His eyes never left Logan's face and the soft smile on his lips remained. Logan was watching James curiously, hands still resting on James' cheek, seemingly unaware of his parents and Dr. Kilduff in the room. Though, he never really 'seemed' to be aware of their presence. Kevin let out an almost inaudible sight but he couldn't fight the grin on his face.

"What?" Dr. Kilduff asked, eyebrows raised.

"You're lying. About Logan healing. Or at least, you're wrong." James shrugged as if correcting a professional doctor was an everyday occurrence. He didn't even looked the slightest interested; only his voice gave away his feelings. "Logie's strong. He'll heal. And he'll talk again and laugh with us and everything will be okay again." Brooke looked grief stricken at her son while Dr. Kilduff looked regretful. Not even could smile at James' attitude like Kevin.

"James," Dr. Kilduff said slowly, carefully picking the right words to say. "You must be prepared for what will happen with Logan now. Your brother has gone through a traumatic experience. A _very_ traumatic one. Some adults would be scared and _broken_ by the experience that Logan went through. I am talking about full grown adults too, James. Logan is a child, a young child. And he was much younger when this happened to him. You need to be prepared that Logan might _never_ be the same."

It was then that Dr. Kilduff knew he had gotten through to James. He saw the way James' entire back stiffened and his jaw clenched at those words. Logan had also noticed, tilting his head to the side. However, James' expression never changed while he looked at Logan.

"I don't mean to say this because I _want_ to. But I need you to be prepared that Logan could be like this way for a long while. If not for –" Dr. Kilduff sighed, only to be suddenly interrupted by two other eleven-year-olds.

"Bring some of his old toys. And maybe pictures too. Oh and bring Benny too." Kendall spoke up from the doorway of Logan's hospital room with Carlos in tow. Kendall had a dark expression on, with his arms folded across his chest. Carlos also looked none too pleased with the situation. His usually happy face was stoic and serious at the moment. For two eleven-year-olds, they did look rather intimidating.

"Huh?" Kevin asked.

"To try and get Logan to remember. Bring his favorite toys to the hospital and some photo albums." Kendall bit out softly. His jaw was set and his eyes were narrowed.

"Don't forget to bring Benny too." Carlos added quieter. The looks on their faces told the three adults to drop the conversation _completely_. Dr. Kilduff nodded silently, before leaving the hospital room. Kevin and Brooke hung back for a few more awkward silences. Eventually, Kevin stood up and pulled Brooke out of her chair. Gently, he looked at Kendall and Carlos and then at James and Logan.

"Alright. We'll be back with some. Kendall, your parents are in the cafeteria. If you need them, get them immediately or call us. Got it?" Kevin asked. Kendall gave him a short but understanding nod before heading to James and Logan. Carlos followed his friend, face instantly breaking out in a bright grin. A grin reserved only for their little Logie.

"Hey James. Hiya Logie!" Kevin didn't even hide the smile on his way out at Carlos' enthusiasm. Next to him, he knew that Brooke was thinking the same idea that he was. And it was a thought that gave him hope and happiness.

_Maybe James was right. Logan will be fine. At least with them_.

* * *

_January 19, 2007_

Dr. Kilduff had decided, with much of James' begging and questioning, that Logan needed to get out of bed. He had agreed that it was time for Logan to start moving. He was showing positive signs of improvement and capability to do more than just lie like a vegetable. Which gave Dr. Kilduff the push to make Logan get up. This could keep Logan from spiraling backwards in his recovery, if they could continue to go forward like this.

Of course, with his injuries there would be no way that Logan would be walking any time soon. And Dr. Kilduff doubted Logan would know what to do with crutches, let alone _want_ to use them. So that left the only one option: A wheelchair.

In hind's sight, it didn't seem like a difficult or bad task.

The only difficult problem would be actually getting Logan _out_ of bed and _in_ the wheelchair. Willingly, that it.

Unfortunately, Dr. Kilduff figured Logan would very much be uncooperative in any way. Nine hours had passed since Brooke and Kevin left to collect Logan's stuff at home. They had returned almost an hour later, but they had returned to a screaming and frantic Logan. Along with a terrified and upset James and stressed Dr. Kiludff. James and Kendall explained what they were trying to do and the parents immediately agreed to help.

They had tried to help Logan. Really, really tried. But Logan didn't seem to want to move at all. He was too afraid of everyone and everything. Kendall and Carlos tried to encourage Logan to get into the chair, with gentle and calm words. Kevin and Brooke had promised that Logan would be safe and just fine. James had tried to talk to Logan and plead with him to allow them to help. But Logan wasn't hearing any of it. He only screamed and cried and thrashed out of anyone's grip.

Finally, after nine hours Dr. Kilduff gave up. He told everyone that would be it today and they should simply go home for sleep. Sadly, Kendall and Carlos' parents agreed. They had to reluctantly drag Kendall and Carlos out of the hospital to go home and rest. Leaving James alone with just his family.

Quietly he had tried to coax Logan into getting in the chair, or beg him quietly once Logan was calm enough. But once again Logan was like a wall. Nothing was going in and nothing was coming out anymore.

In the morning after a night of sleep, Brooke and Kevin went to the cafeteria for breakfast while James stayed in Logan's room with Carlos and Kendall once those two arrived. The three pre-teens went to their usual routine now of trying to coax or soothe Logan into the wheelchair. So far, luck wasn't willing to be on their side. Logan had still refused to even budge an inch from his bed.

James, Kendall and Carlos tried everything they could. Even at one point the three would push one another around in the abandoned wheelchair. Needless to say, that got some entertainment and stress relief for the three eleven-year-olds. Although, it did peak Logan's interest slightly. He did not jump up, ready to sit in the wheelchair right away, but after Kendall had been pushing Carlos or James for over an hour, Logan turned his head to the side with interest. This encouraged James to push around his friends and vice versa, just trying to get Logan to _willingly_ follow them.

To their surprise, Logan did.

It wasn't major, or even what anyone expected to happen.

Logan had simply grabbed James' wrists in a loose, but stiff grasp. His innocent brown eyes gazed deeply into James' own hazel eyes, as if looking into James' soul. With eyes filled with trust and curiosity. This was the first time James had ever seen Logan display trust towards him. For a few seconds, the two brothers stared at one another, neither moving a muscle.

"Do – Do you want to go in Logie?" James asked softly, voice gentle with loving emotion. Logan simply blinked at James, never leaving his gaze from James' face. James, however, took this as a signal to at least _try_.

He removed the covers off of Logan's thin body. Still, Logan didn't resist. James took a step closer to his little brother, and then put a hand around Logan's shaking shoulders. The only movement Logan made was a slight flinch when James touched him. James froze, sucking in his breath but once Logan made no sign of distress his hold tightened around Logan's shoulders. Ever so carefully, James placed his other arm underneath Logan's small legs. This caused Logan to begin trembling immensely.

"Shh Logie. Shh, I got you. It's okay Logie." James whispered comfortingly. Logan grabbed James in a death grip, but the older brother didn't mind even for a second. Logan trusted him. _Trusted_ him right now. He couldn't screw this up.

It was only when James had lifted Logan off of his bed, did the protests start. And none were to pretty. First came the shrieking, then the crying (from both James and Logan), and then the squirming and swiping of hands. Logan was in a full blown "tantrum" after only a few minutes. Immediately, James dropped Logan back on the bed and tried to recoil back as if he had been burned. Only, Logan wouldn't let go.

Logan didn't _want_ to let go.

His hands clutched fistful clumps of James' shirt, with white knuckles while he sobbed and screamed. He wasn't letting go anytime soon, despite how scared he was. James was stuck, bending down awkwardly, with Logan half in his arms and half on the bed.

It took another hour an a half for Logan to calm down. And this time, once he was reduced to sniffles, James was able to lift him off of the bed without a scene. James' heart swelled with absolute joy and pride. He had Logan in his arms once more. He had his baby brother in _his arms_ once again. Of course, Logan squirmed and made sort of whining noises in the back of his throat when James tried to set him into the wheelchair. Honestly, at this point, James was willing to simply carry Logan everywhere. He would carry Logan for the rest of his life if he could.

Finally just before dark, Logan was seated in the wheelchair. On his own and willingly. Both of his hands were firmly clutching one of James' arms and hands but James could care less. Just the fact that Logan was holding his hand was more than enough happiness for the eleven-year-old at the time.

This was all his needed.

His little brother was all he ever needed.

Throughout the entire ordeal, Kendall and Carlos were continuously praising and encouraging Logan even if the seven-year-old didn't understand. The two older boys clapped with pride and laughed once Logan was in James' arms and whistled once Logan was seated in the chair. Though, Logan seemed to understand Kendall and Carlos were doing _something_. Positive, that is.

Of course, all the noise and the light-hearted atmosphere of the room attracted the attention of all of the parents and Dr. Kilduff. Once every adult reached the hospital room , they were shocked and amazed to see Logan seated in a wheelchair allowing Kendall or Carlos to push him around the room while holding onto James' hand.

"Oh my god." Kevin breathed, as a wide smile cracked against his face. It wasn't a soft or hesitant smile either. No, this smile was a full, face-splitting, teeth-revealing, grin across his entire face. The first real grin he had given in nearly five whole years. A fiery warmth burst from his heart and spread throughout his chest at the sight of Logan _relaxed_ and James _happy_.

Jennifer and Sylvia squealed, hugging Brooke tightly beside the men. And John and Juan both slapped Kevin on the back with grins of their own. Even Dr. Kilduff couldn't hide his own smile at the sight. It would seem he had been right about Logan and James.

* * *

_January 20, 2007_

Later in the afternoon of this day, the group began to introduce Logan to some old items he had once been familiar with.

Logan was as comfortable as he could, being mute and skeptic, with all of the adults in the room with him and his brother and friends. He wasn't as afraid of Kevin or Brooke, as a connection to them had finally been made. He even allowed Kendall's and Carlos' parents to also be in the room without screaming. There was a sense of familiarity with them that he couldn't quite place just yet.

Currently the group was going through some old toys and photos with Logan, trying to see if he recognized anything. So far, none of the toys were helping or household items so the pictures were their last hope. Brooke began by showing Logan pictures of himself when he had been two-years-old.

Logan cocked his head, blinking at each picture of himself laid out before him. He stared at each of the pictures before quietly pointing to himself. His pale finger jabbed at his thin chest and then to a picture of him at the park.

"Yes, that's you baby." Brooke croaked softly, wanting so badly to reach out and cradle her son close to her chest and never let go. Kevin placed a gentle hand on his wife's shoulder and squeezed.

"That was Carlos' birthday, that day? Do you remember that day Logie?" James asked quietly, pointing back to the same picture Logan was pointing at. Logan looked confused by James' question, clearly not getting the message. Quickly, James pointed to Logan then pointed to his own head. "Do you…remember? This day?" He asked again even slower, pointing from Logan to his head and back to the picture. "Remember? In your head?"

Unfortunately, Logan was only getting more and more confused by the minute. He showed no signs of remembering or even understanding at all. James sighed but smile gently at Logan. He continued to pull out photos, showing them to Logan while asking questions about if he knew it or remembered. On quite a few occasions Logan's eyes narrowed in concentration as if there was something going on in his head that no one knew. James decided not to bother Logan too much about this observation.

It was only when Kevin set down a photo of Logan and James from five-years-ago with Benny in Logan's arms, did they get a different reaction from Logan. Logan's eyes had widened upon sight of the picture, as he stared long and hard at his past self with the past James and Benny. A tiny noise built in his throat, much like a small yip that a dog would make. One of Logan's arms waved when he yipped once more.

James beamed with a spark of hope.

"What Logie? What is it, you see?" James asked excitedly. Everyone else had leaned closer to the two brothers in anticipation. First Logan pointed straight at the stuffed bear in the photo, before making that noise again in his throat. James' eyes lit up and Carlos nearly jumped up in joy.

"Benny!" He cried, scrambling to his feet. "Why haven't we shown him Benny yet?!" He asked, racing to a bag on the floor. Carlos ripped open the book and dug through it, tossing some items to the floor before triumphly pulling out what he was searching for. "Aha!" He grinned. Without a second to breathe, Carlos raced back to the bed before putting the bear onto the bed down gently.

The noise Logan was making became louder and more frantic once Benny was on his bed with him. His large eyes had widened even more as a new emotion filled them. One that made James' heart soar to the sky. Carefully, James pushed the stuffed panda bear to his brother. Childhood toy and its owner had finally been reunited.

"Go ahead Logie. That's Benny. You remember him. Benny's yours." James smiled, encouraging Logan to take the small bear. Logan blinked at James, seemingly caught and unsure of what to do next. The noise stopped in hesitation and Logan looked back between Benny and the bear. Finally, Kendall decided to give a final helpful push.

He picked up the old bear and placed it into Logan's lap, much to the little boy's surprise. From the he helped to wrap the frozen boy's arms around the bear, before sitting back. Everyone held their breath, just waiting to see what reaction they would receive from Logan.

But once again he surprised every single one of them.

And he gently wrapped his arms tighter around the bear in tight embrace before making the sound of a soft purr of excitement.

* * *

**Well there is chapter 17, some boring fluff I bet huh? I'm sorry it was sort of a filler chapter, I just can't seem to write anything nowadays. It's actually rather frustrating and ticks me off! Grr**

**Anyhow, I'm sorry it took so long. Hopefully I'll be a lot better at updating now. Maybe…**

**I do hope you guys enjoyed that chapter and it was somewhat worth the wait. Eh, oh well. I just hope it good to read. So, thoughts? Comments? Likes? Dislikes? Anything you wanna say? Just please leave your thoughts in a review for me! Please and thanks!**

**Thanks and peaceout! **


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